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A review by kendranicole28
Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement by Stacy Manning, Katy Faust
4.0
We have reached a strange spot in our society, where children are both idolized and undervalued. Couples go to great lengths to exercise their “right” to biological parenthood, resorting to reproductive technologies such as surrogacy and egg and sperm donors. Meanwhile, these same children’s genuine rights to grow up knowing their biological parents—and to be raised by both their mother and father, who are married to one another—are considered optional. In Them Before Us, children’s rights advocates Katy Faust and Stacy Manning flip the script on the adult-centric attitudes to marriage, parenthood, and fertility to expose the ways that prioritizing adult desires can compromise the emotional and physical well-being of children.
Through testimonies from the “victims” (offspring of homosexual, transgender, and divorced parents, and children conceived through IVF and/or carried by surrogates), the authors share the not-so-glamorous aspects of some of the prevalent ideologies and commonly accepted practices related to the modern family. The book sorts out fact from fiction within studies claiming only positive outcomes for children raised in unconventional family settings, and it draws attention to the lack of child advocates and abundance of adult selfishness in our current age.
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers: it tackles all of the hottest issues of the day, and does not hold back on pointing out where we really are getting it wrong in our assumptions that “the kids will be fine.” I lean pretty heavily conservative with all things marriage and family, but even I had some of my assumptions challenged, especially regarding the issues that felt a little more personal to me (such as divorce and IVF, as I have friends and family members navigating these waters). Still, I was glad to have my eyes opened to the harm being done to children in these areas.
This is largely an “awareness” book, and I wish the authors had more helpful solutions to offer beyond simply informing readers of these problems. I also wish it were more empowering of the children who have already been affected by divorce, same-sex parents, IVF, etc. (It portrays these children as the victims they are, but does nothing to encourage them to move through the pain they have endured.) And while the book does not necessarily set out to villainize adults who have not prioritized their children’s rights, I believe the authors could have taken a more compassionate and nuanced stance in their views.
As difficult as this book is, I am appreciative of the Them Before Us Movement and its willingness to shine light on the ugly realities of an adult-centric focus on marriage and family. I know I will be taking these issues more seriously in the future.
My Rating: 4 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook
Through testimonies from the “victims” (offspring of homosexual, transgender, and divorced parents, and children conceived through IVF and/or carried by surrogates), the authors share the not-so-glamorous aspects of some of the prevalent ideologies and commonly accepted practices related to the modern family. The book sorts out fact from fiction within studies claiming only positive outcomes for children raised in unconventional family settings, and it draws attention to the lack of child advocates and abundance of adult selfishness in our current age.
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers: it tackles all of the hottest issues of the day, and does not hold back on pointing out where we really are getting it wrong in our assumptions that “the kids will be fine.” I lean pretty heavily conservative with all things marriage and family, but even I had some of my assumptions challenged, especially regarding the issues that felt a little more personal to me (such as divorce and IVF, as I have friends and family members navigating these waters). Still, I was glad to have my eyes opened to the harm being done to children in these areas.
This is largely an “awareness” book, and I wish the authors had more helpful solutions to offer beyond simply informing readers of these problems. I also wish it were more empowering of the children who have already been affected by divorce, same-sex parents, IVF, etc. (It portrays these children as the victims they are, but does nothing to encourage them to move through the pain they have endured.) And while the book does not necessarily set out to villainize adults who have not prioritized their children’s rights, I believe the authors could have taken a more compassionate and nuanced stance in their views.
As difficult as this book is, I am appreciative of the Them Before Us Movement and its willingness to shine light on the ugly realities of an adult-centric focus on marriage and family. I know I will be taking these issues more seriously in the future.
My Rating: 4 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook