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A review by mattyvreads
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
2.75
I’m don’t think I liked this book very much, although I understand that some of the points Manson makes are extremely astute and well-put.
I could not get over the fact that this book is so inextricably white, cis, het, and male centered. It is hard to argue keys to a better life when you are starting from a foundation of such extreme, concentrated privilege. He won the privilege lottery. So yeah, I understand how you’re living your best, happy life. Oh, and he mentions he grew up rich, too.
The advice isn’t ill intentioned, but there are some glaring blind spots in his worldview. He tries (and fails, in my humble opinion) to think outside of his perspective. Those sections feel pretty reductive and out of touch.
The advice is largely anecdotal, which some readers might expect. Occasionally, he’ll talk abouthis girlfriend cheating on him or how during a rough patch of his life he had indiscriminate sex with many partners and then tries to connect those points to other people’s lives or stories or trauma. There is a disconnect for me there.
Some of the references in this book are very dated. There are some pretty glaring ageist, misogynistic, conservative or otherwise Puritan values in this book. One story in particular mentions a character who he repeatedly refers to as “the Asian girl” and makes a strange, sexualized joke about her. He implicitly shames the sex positivity / body liberation movement. Almost every example he gives of relationship dynamics is heteronormative and perpetuates harmful gendered stereotypes. There’s a lot to unpack.
Also, he brings up school shooters like three times and it’s always so jarring and seemingly out of nowhere.
Despite all of that, surprisingly, there are some great things in this book. Truly.
Here are some great insights from the book that I actually think are worthwhile:
1) “Happiness is not a solvable equation”
2) “Whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad”
3) “Certainty is the enemy of growth.”
4) “Choosing better things to give a fuck about”
I don’t think I’ll read it again. But I’m glad I read it once.
I could not get over the fact that this book is so inextricably white, cis, het, and male centered. It is hard to argue keys to a better life when you are starting from a foundation of such extreme, concentrated privilege. He won the privilege lottery. So yeah, I understand how you’re living your best, happy life. Oh, and he mentions he grew up rich, too.
The advice isn’t ill intentioned, but there are some glaring blind spots in his worldview. He tries (and fails, in my humble opinion) to think outside of his perspective. Those sections feel pretty reductive and out of touch.
The advice is largely anecdotal, which some readers might expect. Occasionally, he’ll talk about
Some of the references in this book are very dated. There are some pretty glaring ageist, misogynistic, conservative or otherwise Puritan values in this book. One story in particular mentions a character who he repeatedly refers to as “the Asian girl” and makes a strange, sexualized joke about her. He implicitly shames the sex positivity / body liberation movement. Almost every example he gives of relationship dynamics is heteronormative and perpetuates harmful gendered stereotypes. There’s a lot to unpack.
Also, he brings up school shooters like three times and it’s always so jarring and seemingly out of nowhere.
Despite all of that, surprisingly, there are some great things in this book. Truly.
Here are some great insights from the book that I actually think are worthwhile:
2) “Whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad”
3) “Certainty is the enemy of growth.”
4) “Choosing better things to give a fuck about”
I don’t think I’ll read it again. But I’m glad I read it once.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Suicide, Grief, and War