A review by audleigh
A Million Versions of Right by Matthew Revert
2.0
This is the first book I've ever given two stars. I generally applaud what I read from small press publishers however, this particular book read like literary masturbation with the occasional nonsensical description. While the author seems to aspire to writing in the Bizarro genre, his efforts fall well short of every other Bizarro book I've read.
The book consists of five short stories and here is the break down:
A Million Versions of Right - The tale of a man who ejaculates small mustachioed tile-layers from his cock on several occasions in his life learns from his father that there are "a million versions of right".
The Bricolage Scrotum - A teacher and anti-scrotum advocate plans to pop his sack at a 4th grade school assembly to instill scrotal hatred in children.
The Great Headphone Wank - A couple is driven to the brink of madness by a pair of headphones that only release the sound of unending, orgasm-less masturbation no matter what album is played.
Meeting Max - The Hair District is thrown into chaos when a bald man perpetrates a series of identical vandalism crimes against the local barber shops which leads to the town water supply being spiked with an agent that induces menstruation in men.
Power Blink - A band-aid is carefully and successfully installed on a man with a small cut with the help of his friend's new invention: The Power Blink.
The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work - In a world where people are incapable of keeping track of their place in a book, a new industry provides hope when the bookmark is invented. Its prohibitively expensive price tag causes division between classes and our protagonist buys a bootleg bookmark which fails to keep her place.
I admit, the descriptions of each story are far more interesting than the stories themselves. There seemed to be no real purpose or idea behind any of the tales, with the possible exception of The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work which may have been trying to be allegorical to the rise of the personal computer.
Truly, if you're in the mood for something strange and new, go over to Bizarro Central and check out Mykle Hanson, Carlton Mellick, Kevin L. Donihe, or Gina Ranalli. I promise in any of their works you'll find something far more interesting and well written than A Million Versions of Right. This book feels less like imaginative and pointed strangeness than it does like the ramblings of a man wishing he had the creative prowess of the homeless insane.
The book consists of five short stories and here is the break down:
A Million Versions of Right - The tale of a man who ejaculates small mustachioed tile-layers from his cock on several occasions in his life learns from his father that there are "a million versions of right".
The Bricolage Scrotum - A teacher and anti-scrotum advocate plans to pop his sack at a 4th grade school assembly to instill scrotal hatred in children.
The Great Headphone Wank - A couple is driven to the brink of madness by a pair of headphones that only release the sound of unending, orgasm-less masturbation no matter what album is played.
Meeting Max - The Hair District is thrown into chaos when a bald man perpetrates a series of identical vandalism crimes against the local barber shops which leads to the town water supply being spiked with an agent that induces menstruation in men.
Power Blink - A band-aid is carefully and successfully installed on a man with a small cut with the help of his friend's new invention: The Power Blink.
The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work - In a world where people are incapable of keeping track of their place in a book, a new industry provides hope when the bookmark is invented. Its prohibitively expensive price tag causes division between classes and our protagonist buys a bootleg bookmark which fails to keep her place.
I admit, the descriptions of each story are far more interesting than the stories themselves. There seemed to be no real purpose or idea behind any of the tales, with the possible exception of The Bookmark that Wouldn't Work which may have been trying to be allegorical to the rise of the personal computer.
Truly, if you're in the mood for something strange and new, go over to Bizarro Central and check out Mykle Hanson, Carlton Mellick, Kevin L. Donihe, or Gina Ranalli. I promise in any of their works you'll find something far more interesting and well written than A Million Versions of Right. This book feels less like imaginative and pointed strangeness than it does like the ramblings of a man wishing he had the creative prowess of the homeless insane.