A review by haley_b
Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

emotional hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective fast-paced

5.0

I've read Gender Queer twice this year. I'm disappointed and angry (but ultimately unsurprised) that this book has become such a target in the anti-trans culture war. I am also mostly unsurprised that it has become a (much smaller) target for terfs. Gender Queer doesn't deserve the flack. 

In this graphic memoir, author Maia Kobabe relays eir experience growing up nonbinary; from a sheltered, confused childhood to an awkward and painful adolescence to finally arrive at young adulthood content with eirself and with the questions still hanging in the air. The illustrations and writing are simple and cute, and the same can be said for the dialogue. 

At certain points I found myself craving more depth, and at other points I found the fandom references completely cringey. However, unlike many of the book’s detractors, it isn't lost on me that this book is for queer teenagers first and foremost. They need an introduction to these complex topics, and they need someone to offer relatable, perhaps cringey, anecdotes about eir queer experience. Kobabe has checked both of these boxes. 

Although the book does depict a handful of sexually explicit situations, Kobabe handles them with admirable grace and care. I'm particularly fond of the infamous "strap on" scene specifically because it ends with a very healthy expression of sexual boundaries and consent, and these boundaries are respected without question. This is a situation older teens need to see modeled, and Gender Queer does it honestly. They can handle it, I promise. 

Is Gender Queer a worthwhile read for any queer or questioning young person? Absolutely, without a doubt. Should Gender Queer be upheld as The Defining Book on nonbinary gender identity? Not really. Rather, it highlights the need for more numerous and more diverse books for its audience on the subject. 

Gender Queer is a beautiful and important graphic memoir by a nonbinary author for nonbinary teens and young adults. It is not perfect. It is not academic. It is a friendly, inviting title on a topic that needs more of this gentle yet genuine discussion.