A review by alienor
A Duke by Default, by Alyssa Cole

4.0

Two weeks ago, when I learned that I'd be part of the blog tour for A Duke By Default, I was so excited. Everything about it sounded amazing : a black heroine with ADHD? A commoner turned duke? Scotland? My, my. It's as if this novel had been written for me, really.  I posted elated tweets about it, messaged all my friends, wrote a prereview on Goodreads, and then,

I didn't read it.

Oops. I spent the next two weeks randomly looking at the cover, clutching my ereader, before reading something else entirely. And watching Anne with an E. And writing lists of what I need to do before I'm back to school in a month. Oh, and I also made charts listing the qualifications I need to acquire next year (I'm coming back to uni while keeping my job as an Elementary teacher). Yay, me.

I wouldn't say I stalled, because it's normal behavior to me. I have ADHD (combined type) and sometimes, it's so hard to do what I'm supposed to do when my new projects engross me. I just... wait for it to be the very last moment, even though that's something I want to do and I'm interested in. Sigh. Are you tired? Because I am.

Anyway. Yesterday (of course, YESTERDAY), I looked at the date and kind of freaked out. Leave it to me to wait for THE VERY LAST DAY, jesus. I opened my ereader, started reading, and never stopped for one moment until the end. A Duke by Default is that good. So don't be like me, and read it now, you won't be disappointed. 

First : PORTIA. Oh my god, Portia. I adore her. I've spent four hours wanting to hug this amazing woman. See, Portia has always compared herself to others, especially her very organized and driven twin sister, Reggie. And she found herself lacking. Lacking purpose, perseverance, organization. Her parents don't support her choices, and she's blaming herself for not being who the world wants her to be. Calm. Reliable. Sensible. Her constant self-doubt was really hard to read, but oh so relatable. Like her, I've been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and you know what's funny? I decided to take the test after having watched a video, too. THIS ONE. (and a million more of hers, OF COURSE, because #hyperfixation)

It was a revelation, because like Portia, I've spent years asking myself what the fuck was wrong with me, if I really was just lazy, impulsive, and selfish. Why couldn't I stay calm at school, when it seemed so easy to others? Why couldn't I keep contact with my friends, when I very much loved them? Why was my office filled with piles of paper, when I had devised a whole new filing system? I just thought I was very bad at adulting, honestly, and why wouldn't I, when people around me kept telling me that my problem was immaturity? The thing is, I've always been good at what interests me. When I was in high-school, I spent my senior year skipping class and reading philosophy books in a café instead. After dropping out of uni the first time, I started again three years later and studied correspondence courses in French Lit.

I was finally successful. I could work at night, hyperfocus on my computer, and feed my (quite) obsessional character. Finding what to do with my degree was another trial entirely, but after a while I finally discovered teaching and now, six years after, I'm forever grateful to have found this amazing job that constantly captivates me (and also : I can spend my days standing up, woot). It doesn't mean that I'm perfect, of course. I still randomly obsess over new projects (lately I've been learning Swedish, because..... well, because), my house is still full of random cluster, i had to ask my friends to STOP giving me green plants because they kept dying, and I have to put alarms to remember to call my mum (annnnnnd for everything, really).

My ADHD will never disappear, but I'm kinda proud of this part of myself, now.

What I meant to say with all this personal rambling (sorry) (I forgot to mention that I did that a lot, oops) is : reading about Portia and following her while she realizes that she's a fantastic person and not a mess was a wonderful experience. I'm forever grateful to Alyssa Cole for having created a character I could see myself in.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I think about all the fellow readers out there who might have ADHD, and I can't even express how happy it makes me feel, knowing that Portia exists. 

What about the romance, then? Ahhh. It was the perfect slow-burn, without nonsensical obstacles but rather, understandable issues that prevent Tavis and Portia to be together. You see, Tavis, grumpy but with a heart of gold Tavis, is Portia's boss. As much as he's attracted to her (and trust me, he is), he doesn't want to be this guy. Not to mention that after a few bad experiences (I can relate to that, too), Portia really doesn't want to hook up with anyone. Add life-changing discoveries (Tavis is a duke, no less!), very realistic struggles due to social inequalities, and you'll get why their relationship isn't an easy one to start. They'll get there, though. They'll get there, and they'll win your heart along the way. Sure, you might be annoyed by Tavis at first, but trust me : he'll win you over. Our girl really has the best of tastes ;)

Filled with friendship and family, A Duke by Default is more than a romance : for me, it's also a sort of coming of age, whose kind we don't see enough : tell me, why should novels about teenagers the only ones that deal with getting our shit together? Why do we live in a society in which it's not okay to ignore what we want to do when we're 30? That's bullshit! There's no rush.

All in all, a great novel I'm very glad to have (finally) read. Please give it a chance. 

Oh, and friends : ADHD symptoms aren't character flaws, and like Portia, you're probably full of talent. Don't sell yourself short.  You're amazing <3 Not convinced? Why not watch this video about the AWESOME sides of ADHD?

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