Scan barcode
A review by kn0tp0rk
Hot Sex on a Platter by Debra Shade
1.0
Ooooh my god. So when I discovered my job sold the sequel to Maybe She is Right, I knew Satan was giving me the opportunity to roast this author one more time. It's on discount for $7.50! Could be on sale for a penny and I still wouldn't buy it. ಥ‿ಥ
Let's start with the front cover. Christ Almighty, it's pixelated as fuck. Your 72 ppi is showing, bro. The composition gave me a disease. The placement of the title is okay, but why the fuck is "CENSORED: ADULT CONTENT" even there? Stop being a pussy and just show the image. The cover just screams, "THIS WAS SELF-PUBLISHED!!" Find a better artist. If you can't take the time or money to get a good artist, that already puts up a red flag about the content of your book. What's worse is that apparently TWO PEOPLE made this shit.
When you open this abomination, you'll notice that there's a stamp of the publishing company's logo. It's on every fucking page. Why? Why? I don't even understand what purpose this is supposed to serve. Are you that desperate for people to remember the name of your company?
The general layout of the book is ugly. The lines are, like, double spaced. The page numbers are hidden in the creases next to the ugly company logo.
The editing. Has this editor graduated high school? There are errors all over the place that anyone with experience should have eliminated. It's like no one proofread this pile of dog shit. I just don't understand how these problems were overlooked.
Italics. ITALICS. WHY IS THE DIALOGUE IN ITALICS? Are the characters telepathic?? Who OK'd this? I'm looking at you, editor. Fucking hell. But wait! It randomly switches out of this as if the author forgot how she was formatting things.
Guess what else? There's headhopping, too! The book goes from first person to third person. Wow. How did you fuck up that bad? Keep the tenses and perspective fucking consistent. If the book is going to be in first person, fucking keep it in first person. If you want to look into other characters' thoughts, then you don't want to use first person. Jesus.
The plot. Bitch accidentally kills someone or some shit and her first thought is to go to a hotel and masturbate. LMFAO
Author said in her acknowledgments that some people she knew left her because of this book. I'm sure they were just repelled by her shitty writing skills. ( ಠ◡ಠ )
Let's start with the front cover. Christ Almighty, it's pixelated as fuck. Your 72 ppi is showing, bro. The composition gave me a disease. The placement of the title is okay, but why the fuck is "CENSORED: ADULT CONTENT" even there? Stop being a pussy and just show the image. The cover just screams, "THIS WAS SELF-PUBLISHED!!" Find a better artist. If you can't take the time or money to get a good artist, that already puts up a red flag about the content of your book. What's worse is that apparently TWO PEOPLE made this shit.
When you open this abomination, you'll notice that there's a stamp of the publishing company's logo. It's on every fucking page. Why? Why? I don't even understand what purpose this is supposed to serve. Are you that desperate for people to remember the name of your company?
The general layout of the book is ugly. The lines are, like, double spaced. The page numbers are hidden in the creases next to the ugly company logo.
The editing. Has this editor graduated high school? There are errors all over the place that anyone with experience should have eliminated. It's like no one proofread this pile of dog shit. I just don't understand how these problems were overlooked.
Italics. ITALICS. WHY IS THE DIALOGUE IN ITALICS? Are the characters telepathic?? Who OK'd this? I'm looking at you, editor. Fucking hell. But wait! It randomly switches out of this as if the author forgot how she was formatting things.
Guess what else? There's headhopping, too! The book goes from first person to third person. Wow. How did you fuck up that bad? Keep the tenses and perspective fucking consistent. If the book is going to be in first person, fucking keep it in first person. If you want to look into other characters' thoughts, then you don't want to use first person. Jesus.
The plot. Bitch accidentally kills someone or some shit and her first thought is to go to a hotel and masturbate. LMFAO
Author said in her acknowledgments that some people she knew left her because of this book. I'm sure they were just repelled by her shitty writing skills. ( ಠ◡ಠ )