A review by herbalmoon
In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss, by Amy Bloom
I'm still reading, so I don't have a grasp on what I want to write about the overarching story. But let me say this about the subject matter:
Some of the other reviewers have described this book as forwarding the author's "sick and twisted agenda". If you think a woman not stopping her husband from seeking out care in order to end his life when he has a terminal illness is "sick", then you must live in a plush little bubble and the world has never hurt you.
I've lost three family members to Alzheimer's (or something like it). The first two (both grandfathers, in fact) had dementia due to a stroke; and while I wasn't there for my paternal grandfather's last few years, I can tell you my maternal grandfather basically died two years before the rest of his body. Sure, he was lucid at times, but since he was legally blind, he was basically bumbling around in the world while trapped in his own mind, waiting for that next stroke (or two, actually) to take him down.
Do you know what happens to an end-stage Alzheimer's patient, as Brian would've been if he hadn't ended his life? They can no longer care for themselves and have to be watched around the clock, often in a facility. At any time during this six month period (estimated), the patient could die from a passing illness (such as pneumonia), choke to death or simply stop eating, as my aunt did. (Unfortunately, I no longer have the link to the UK hospice page that gave me this information in 2018, but the information is out there.)
When you can tell me what's "loving" about allowing someone to be trapped in their own body while waiting to become target practice for a blood clot; when you can tell me what's "compassionate" about the illness/choking/starvation roulette, I might believe your claims that allowing someone to commit suicide is "worse" than letting them live.
=Later=
I had to give up...this played too tightly on my heartstrings.
And the "wonderful person" who said that the author was a narcissist wrote me back and said she could've divorced him. Hmm...if she loved herself so much more than him, why didn't she divorce him? Oh, wait...maybe because that person is full of shit and the author loved her husband?!
Some of the other reviewers have described this book as forwarding the author's "sick and twisted agenda". If you think a woman not stopping her husband from seeking out care in order to end his life when he has a terminal illness is "sick", then you must live in a plush little bubble and the world has never hurt you.
I've lost three family members to Alzheimer's (or something like it). The first two (both grandfathers, in fact) had dementia due to a stroke; and while I wasn't there for my paternal grandfather's last few years, I can tell you my maternal grandfather basically died two years before the rest of his body. Sure, he was lucid at times, but since he was legally blind, he was basically bumbling around in the world while trapped in his own mind, waiting for that next stroke (or two, actually) to take him down.
Do you know what happens to an end-stage Alzheimer's patient, as Brian would've been if he hadn't ended his life? They can no longer care for themselves and have to be watched around the clock, often in a facility. At any time during this six month period (estimated), the patient could die from a passing illness (such as pneumonia), choke to death or simply stop eating, as my aunt did. (Unfortunately, I no longer have the link to the UK hospice page that gave me this information in 2018, but the information is out there.)
When you can tell me what's "loving" about allowing someone to be trapped in their own body while waiting to become target practice for a blood clot; when you can tell me what's "compassionate" about the illness/choking/starvation roulette, I might believe your claims that allowing someone to commit suicide is "worse" than letting them live.
=Later=
I had to give up...this played too tightly on my heartstrings.
And the "wonderful person" who said that the author was a narcissist wrote me back and said she could've divorced him. Hmm...if she loved herself so much more than him, why didn't she divorce him? Oh, wait...maybe because that person is full of shit and the author loved her husband?!