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A review by kricketa
Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady by Derek Blasberg
Did not finish book.
this advice book "for the extremely modern lady" got a great review (for teen non-fiction) in one of the journals i read, so i bought it for the collection. i'm also reasonably invested in (but not obsessed with)looking classy when i leave the house each day, so decided to have a look when it got to the library. oh, dear.
to start with, i haven't been able to get comfortable with this being written by a dude. maybe that's unfair, but any time a man goes around directing female behavior, i'm suspicious. yes, blasberg hangs out with (and name drops) a lot of socialites and starlets. but he also says, "looking back, i can categorize the young women i've met through my trials and trevails into two groups: ladies and tramps" (introduction). this implies that all girls are either perfect or disasters. definitely not true, and hardly fair either.
i'm also troubled by his continued usage of names like "tramp" and "skank" to classify the women who dare to offend his delicate sensibilities. by, for example, rocking visible bra straps. yes, i am in total agreement that you should wear panties under a short skirt if you're going to be exiting a limo in front of the paparazzi...but a visible bra strap now and again? do we not have bigger problems to focus on? not according to blasberg: "An exposed bra strap can take a girl from sexy territory into slutty-land" (4).
...really?
ostensibly, these "skanks" are the readers he is trying to reach with his book, but he's so insulting that i can't imagine anyone finishing the book unless they already agree with him and want to pat themselves on the back.
some of blasberg's examples fail spectacularly. the model photographed on page 6 as an example of a classy lady has a completely deranged look on her face. his colors and complexion chart on p 14 assumes that all women fall into four combinations of hair and skin tone. halp, derek! what's a fair complected brunette to do? what color am i supposed to wear? "Heed this chart wisely," he says pompously. "All it takes is one super-blonde wearing something bright red to prove that the wrong color combo can have disastrous consequences. (In this case, consequences that involve being mistaken for a hooker)" (14). AND YET- on the reverse side of this VERY PAGE, his super blond model is depicted wearing a bright red chanel jacket to extol the virtues of vintage finds. ook! disastrous!
and this gem: "a lady keeps her legs shaven when she's wearing a skirt. And if you're one of those hippies who thinks shaving the legs is yet another clever way males have of subjugating women through the ages, you shouldn't be wearing a short skirt anyway (miniskirts are just another tool of the patriarchy, right?)"(36). now, i will be the first to admit that i shave my legs. i've thought about it, and it doesn't bother me too much, so sure, i'll do it every few days in the summer. but what i will not do is stand for some asshat with a mangy beard telling me i HAVE to do it or i can't rock a knee-length anything in 90 degree weather. what about walking shorts, doofus? are those a tool of the patriarchy? for god's sake: SHUT UP DEREK BLASBERG.
so, this is where i stopped reading. i will not argue that this book contains valid pieces of helpful advice (feel good in your own skin, don't show up to the airport drunk) but the only good messages are the ones that apply to both genders, not just ladies. and they get lost in the saccharine, superficial, name-dropping, sexist, know-it-all tripe surrounding them.
to start with, i haven't been able to get comfortable with this being written by a dude. maybe that's unfair, but any time a man goes around directing female behavior, i'm suspicious. yes, blasberg hangs out with (and name drops) a lot of socialites and starlets. but he also says, "looking back, i can categorize the young women i've met through my trials and trevails into two groups: ladies and tramps" (introduction). this implies that all girls are either perfect or disasters. definitely not true, and hardly fair either.
i'm also troubled by his continued usage of names like "tramp" and "skank" to classify the women who dare to offend his delicate sensibilities. by, for example, rocking visible bra straps. yes, i am in total agreement that you should wear panties under a short skirt if you're going to be exiting a limo in front of the paparazzi...but a visible bra strap now and again? do we not have bigger problems to focus on? not according to blasberg: "An exposed bra strap can take a girl from sexy territory into slutty-land" (4).
...really?
ostensibly, these "skanks" are the readers he is trying to reach with his book, but he's so insulting that i can't imagine anyone finishing the book unless they already agree with him and want to pat themselves on the back.
some of blasberg's examples fail spectacularly. the model photographed on page 6 as an example of a classy lady has a completely deranged look on her face. his colors and complexion chart on p 14 assumes that all women fall into four combinations of hair and skin tone. halp, derek! what's a fair complected brunette to do? what color am i supposed to wear? "Heed this chart wisely," he says pompously. "All it takes is one super-blonde wearing something bright red to prove that the wrong color combo can have disastrous consequences. (In this case, consequences that involve being mistaken for a hooker)" (14). AND YET- on the reverse side of this VERY PAGE, his super blond model is depicted wearing a bright red chanel jacket to extol the virtues of vintage finds. ook! disastrous!
and this gem: "a lady keeps her legs shaven when she's wearing a skirt. And if you're one of those hippies who thinks shaving the legs is yet another clever way males have of subjugating women through the ages, you shouldn't be wearing a short skirt anyway (miniskirts are just another tool of the patriarchy, right?)"(36). now, i will be the first to admit that i shave my legs. i've thought about it, and it doesn't bother me too much, so sure, i'll do it every few days in the summer. but what i will not do is stand for some asshat with a mangy beard telling me i HAVE to do it or i can't rock a knee-length anything in 90 degree weather. what about walking shorts, doofus? are those a tool of the patriarchy? for god's sake: SHUT UP DEREK BLASBERG.
so, this is where i stopped reading. i will not argue that this book contains valid pieces of helpful advice (feel good in your own skin, don't show up to the airport drunk) but the only good messages are the ones that apply to both genders, not just ladies. and they get lost in the saccharine, superficial, name-dropping, sexist, know-it-all tripe surrounding them.