A review by islamaunder21
Just by Looking at Him by Ryan O'Connell

dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

  • The ending really made this book for me. This is a raw and unflinching depiction of life as a disabled gay man as well as sex work, addiction, relationships and unlikely friendships. It refuses to fall into and even actively challenges tropes of innocent victimhood nor sugar-coat the protagonist's flaws, internal and external ableism, or mental/physical pain. Simultaneously, the first person narrative voice, as told through Elliot's eyes, is campy, humorous and bitchy even in the difficult moments and we are made to gradually warm to him more and more, even rooting for and empathising with him despite him initially coming across as being quite unlikeable. Whilst I found that for the most part the beginning/first half of the novel didn't really hit for me, I felt myself getting pulled into the story as Elliot became more self-reflective and open, even seeing his poor choices at the expense of others through a newly compassionate light. 
  • Whilst at times emotional, this novel does not shy away from explicit sex scenes lol, I found it hilarious listening to descriptions of sex positions and acts whilst shopping for groceries in my local corner shop and doing my washing up.
    Also I never thought I would choke up at a sex scene but the final chapter got to me as I found it so beautiful and moving to witness Elliot feel finally fully seen and understood, and intimacy is reclaimed as something much more profound than simply physical satisfaction
     
  • I found some of the ''reflective'' moments in the book which were commentating on social issues and injustices to be a bit too basic and unnecessary whilst they of course made very valid and important points. I think rather than being told what to think as readers, these issues might have been inferred through witnessing the characters, narrative and Elliot's own internal dialogue. 
  • Also this is probably because I'm not an LA gurl but whilst some of the humour landed, other parts of the narrative style were a bit cheesy for me and I didn't get all of the references. 
  • All in all I found this is be a moving and empowering book which explores the co- existence of disability and sexuality as being not at odds with one another but just as multifaceted and nuanced as that of able bodied individuals, albeit in both similar and different ways. 
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