A review by lunxy
Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo
adventurous
dark
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
1.0
leigh bardugos refusal to cook despite having the tastiest base concepts genuinely needs to be studied by a 24/7 dedicated team of scientists bc i cannot understand it
maybe it’s insane to give this book the same rating as Ice Planet Barbarians but the way this book gaslighted me into thinking something interesting was gna happen for almost 500 pages got me feeling insane so ☝️😋
things that has me giggling and kicking my feet:
•darlington but specifically when he was in the circle 💀 bro became a genuine menace when he was released BUT MORE ON THAT LATER.,, the way he was like so like entrancing to Alex but also so weirdly removed emotionally was really cool to read and meant all of his lines had a double meaning which was really sick and the way he would flicker between emotions mwah mamamia,,, the chapter where she talks to him for the first time is probably the best in the book, “I’m a demon, not a dullard, Stern.” like heheheheh whatever u say babygirl..,, Also the idea that demons cannot resist a puzzle is SO GOOD i LOVE when fantasy creatures are bound by laws it’s so fun!!!! his soul splitting between demon punisher and captive victim!!!!!! and ofc i’m absolutely obsessed with how whenever a new character came into the ballroom and saw darlington we would specifically get a reaction cam to his glowing cockandballs n that never stopped being funny
• the whole initial Linus Reiter encounter where we discover vampire r real 😭😭😭😭 like was it goofy YES but we he serving insane levels of cunt?? also yes..,
““Fuck me,” she muttered.
“Maybe a drink first.”
Alex chocked back a scream and whirled, her feet tangling. A man stood behind her in a spotless white suit.” LIKE???? okay icon??? and the fact he does all that and then goes on to have barely any plot relevance like??? you either get it or you don’t and babes i GOT IT 🤭😋 only downside is bc if this we get the line “And how was she supposed to best a drug-dealing blue blood Connecticut vampire?” which was so insanely corny i had to put the book down for a month😔💔
•tripp becoming a vampire 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀like i’ll talk more about tripp later bc overall: flop.,, but the reveal of him turning but still being chill was so silly i’ll admit it had me giggling, maybe even buying a plot of land for him on babygirl island.,,
“But you’re going to have to change,” Alex said.
“Of course. I know I haven’t been the most responsible member of the team, but I believe in transformative growth-“
“Clothes, Tripp. You’re going to have to change your clothes.” ehehehehe🤭
But like also the way he was the only one to slowly desecrate in his apartment is so sad?????? 😔 i fear the vampires r hard carrying my desire to read the next book
• the reveal of anslem being darlingtons demon 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 okayyyyyy maybe that gagged me a bit i did not see it coming and the way that even tho it was a surprise you can still look back and notice how he slowly changes thru the course of the book made it such a satisfying reveal!!!
the things that had me stamping my feet and blowing steam out of my ears:
• Yale. as i write this review i am also typing in yales exact coordinates into my nuclear missile launcher. if i ever hear someone speaking about yale again i will transform into a pack of feral hyenas and rip them to shreds.,,.., neow listen i was already pretty bored by all the Yale architecture talk in the first book but i can accept that it was needed to provide the setting and establish our world, but in this book it fr jus pissed me offffff 😭😭😭 it was so goddamn boring and would actively bring the story to a halt jus so we could monologue about some window for the 50th time that would add nothing to the plot 😭 my eyes were jus glazing over it really made reading this a chore.,,. like u can really tell Bardugo went to Yale and has been obsessed ever since but you never really get the sense that Alex feels that way.,, so whenever a huge Yale tangent happens it really feels like it’s breaking the fourth wall somehow 😔
•tuner and tripp 😐 neow don’t get it twisted i loved turner in the first book and i still like him in this one and as we know vampire tripp did win me over in the end buttt the way them being murderers has NO plot relevance apart from just being really convenient because now they could walk the gauntlet.,,, i was waiting the whole book for what they had done to be revealed bc my boo boo ass thought it must be connected somehow 😭😭😭 NOPE they jus killed some randoms in their backstory which is told to us with no consequence and no one cares and also it doesn’t matter ., 😭😭 and this kind of writing is really what makes this book so frustrating to read. It’s hard to care about any of the characters because at no point did it feel like i really knew or understood any of them beyond a surface level.,, and so none of our main group really feel bonded in any significant way, when they were walking the gauntlet i was fr in denial bc i was like there is no way??? they’re already descending into hell??? when they’re have had literally no in depth character moments??? like how am i supposed to really feel the weight of this????? this is obviously felt the most with the secondary characters but i felt it even between darlington and alex?? i was never fully convinced that she would go to hell for him., we are told all through the first book that she takes care of herself first but then like?? will risk everything for darlington?? bc he was sorta nice to her for a month like???? it’s jus not working.. to sell that you REALLY need to feel their relationship but u never do 💔💔💔
• post circle darlington ☹️ 90% of this book is then trying to release darlington but also arguing for him not to be released bc no one knows how different he will be and blah blah, so to go through all that and to have him finally out and it turns out he’s basically the same but just insanely horny??? it’s so criminal 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you spend the whole book thinking about how demons love puzzles and darlington can never say what he thinks so what can he really mean and then u finally get his POV and it turns out the reason he can’t say what he thinks is bc he jus ruminating on fucking alex 24/7 😭😭 like babes i love a down bad man as much as the next but it was a bit of a let down , like yeah in any other book i’d be eating that up but like??? after 300 pages of pure boredom it’s almost insulting to have it devolve into a by the numbers YA romance like??? 😵💫 ALSO the way he would go demon mode whenever alex was in danger was so cringey 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the tiktok alpha male werewolf must protect my omega transformation of it all 💔💔 that paired with calling alex his “monstrous queen” aka joker harley quinn she was crazier than him moment.,, some tough reads. That being said;
“It snakes around Darlingtons throat and yanked him away from Not Hellie… Darlington fell back on his haunches with a growl. Like a hound brought to heel.”
Alex leashing him like a dog???????? awoooga (lowkey)
• there just felt like there were so many missed plot opportunities, the books feels like it’s about nothing and we don’t understand the characters any more than we did after the first book… i know i jus finished my darlington section but the biggest example of this is the fact that Alex letting darlington be sucked into hell is barely even mentioned…. like that reveal is such a face crack moment in the first book and we’re left with all this delicious tension wondering that even if alex did save him, would darlington want to see her and would he blame her and then in this one it’s resolved in the three seconds.,,,he jus don’t gaf 😭😭😭😭 SO LAME.., that’s the one that sticks out the most the whole book is littered with instances like this ☹️
• the whole eitan subplot was stupid and added nothing to the story 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the resolution to it being that he randomly shows up at the end for 0.3 seconds and then is IMMEDIATELY nuked 💀 GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY
• no bridegroom..,,…,, i cant even talk about this it hurts too much 💔💔💔💔 bro is still on campus but not part of the gang 💔💔💔 alex doesn’t even think about him at all except to recap what happened in the last book 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 instead of exploring how he could b one of the murders they jus retconned dumb backstories for tripp and turner 💔💔💔💔💔💔no one hmu i’m sick of the snakes 🐍
The Dani Section:
only reason i got thru this book in one piece is i read it with dani 😋💖 these r messages she sent that i feel must be enshrined here because they changed my brain chemistry forever
•sadly i have had to come to terms with no bridegroom appearances or mentions missing my babygirl everyday
•also idk if it’s jsut me but i feel so dumb they keep quoting all this literature and im like lol idk what y’all are talking about 🧌🧌🧌
•yeah this was so 🤡 like babe u spent like nearly 250 pages getting here where u just waffled but you don’t wanna dedicate some of that waffle to the other characters???? who are literally going to hell for some dude 😭😭😭
•like alex girlie if you don’t want darlington and his glowing cock, i’ll take him 😋😋😋😋😋
•the wolves quoting scripture had me howling
•THE GENTLEMAN OF LETHE HAD RETURNED IM FLYING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS RIGHT NOW
•the way darlington’s horny ass is written is sending me into orbit. this whole scene in his room im sitting here like ok so y’all gonna kiss??? yall gonna fuck??? get it over with. stop blueballing me 😭🤙🤙
•i actually inwardly die everytime Darlington like powers up to demon mode i imagine this whole like cw transformation like in vampire diaries when the vampires suddenly get veiny eyes and shit
•I WAS LIKE WHY DID IT TURN INTO A WATTPAD FIC AT THE END
•the distinct lack of descriptions about his glowing cock post coming back from hell really tanked the book
•if i don’t get a scene where it’s really dark and they don’t have a flashlight and alex uses the glowing dick as a flashlight the book’s a write off
•my 2016 monsta x next door fanfic trumps this if we’re being brutally honest
so yeah overall the book is an undercooked over explained mess 😋 but it’s OUR undercooked over explained mess 💖💖🫶 dani and i WILL b seated and strapped in when the third book is released and we WILL b non stop yapping about how messy it is ☝️🤓
this series is our boulder and we r sisyphus reincarnated 🫶 peace and love 🫶 shout out to dawes saying “first we cook” if only leigh bardugo had done the same 💔
“Our bodies are food for worms. Why should our souls not be made meals too?”
maybe it’s insane to give this book the same rating as Ice Planet Barbarians but the way this book gaslighted me into thinking something interesting was gna happen for almost 500 pages got me feeling insane so ☝️😋
things that has me giggling and kicking my feet:
•darlington but specifically when he was in the circle 💀 bro became a genuine menace when he was released BUT MORE ON THAT LATER.,, the way he was like so like entrancing to Alex but also so weirdly removed emotionally was really cool to read and meant all of his lines had a double meaning which was really sick and the way he would flicker between emotions mwah mamamia,,, the chapter where she talks to him for the first time is probably the best in the book, “I’m a demon, not a dullard, Stern.” like heheheheh whatever u say babygirl..,, Also the idea that demons cannot resist a puzzle is SO GOOD i LOVE when fantasy creatures are bound by laws it’s so fun!!!! his soul splitting between demon punisher and captive victim!!!!!! and ofc i’m absolutely obsessed with how whenever a new character came into the ballroom and saw darlington we would specifically get a reaction cam to his glowing cockandballs n that never stopped being funny
• the whole initial Linus Reiter encounter where we discover vampire r real 😭😭😭😭 like was it goofy YES but we he serving insane levels of cunt?? also yes..,
““Fuck me,” she muttered.
“Maybe a drink first.”
Alex chocked back a scream and whirled, her feet tangling. A man stood behind her in a spotless white suit.” LIKE???? okay icon??? and the fact he does all that and then goes on to have barely any plot relevance like??? you either get it or you don’t and babes i GOT IT 🤭😋 only downside is bc if this we get the line “And how was she supposed to best a drug-dealing blue blood Connecticut vampire?” which was so insanely corny i had to put the book down for a month😔💔
•tripp becoming a vampire 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀like i’ll talk more about tripp later bc overall: flop.,, but the reveal of him turning but still being chill was so silly i’ll admit it had me giggling, maybe even buying a plot of land for him on babygirl island.,,
“But you’re going to have to change,” Alex said.
“Of course. I know I haven’t been the most responsible member of the team, but I believe in transformative growth-“
“Clothes, Tripp. You’re going to have to change your clothes.” ehehehehe🤭
But like also the way he was the only one to slowly desecrate in his apartment is so sad?????? 😔 i fear the vampires r hard carrying my desire to read the next book
• the reveal of anslem being darlingtons demon 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 okayyyyyy maybe that gagged me a bit i did not see it coming and the way that even tho it was a surprise you can still look back and notice how he slowly changes thru the course of the book made it such a satisfying reveal!!!
the things that had me stamping my feet and blowing steam out of my ears:
• Yale. as i write this review i am also typing in yales exact coordinates into my nuclear missile launcher. if i ever hear someone speaking about yale again i will transform into a pack of feral hyenas and rip them to shreds.,,.., neow listen i was already pretty bored by all the Yale architecture talk in the first book but i can accept that it was needed to provide the setting and establish our world, but in this book it fr jus pissed me offffff 😭😭😭 it was so goddamn boring and would actively bring the story to a halt jus so we could monologue about some window for the 50th time that would add nothing to the plot 😭 my eyes were jus glazing over it really made reading this a chore.,,. like u can really tell Bardugo went to Yale and has been obsessed ever since but you never really get the sense that Alex feels that way.,, so whenever a huge Yale tangent happens it really feels like it’s breaking the fourth wall somehow 😔
•tuner and tripp 😐 neow don’t get it twisted i loved turner in the first book and i still like him in this one and as we know vampire tripp did win me over in the end buttt the way them being murderers has NO plot relevance apart from just being really convenient because now they could walk the gauntlet.,,, i was waiting the whole book for what they had done to be revealed bc my boo boo ass thought it must be connected somehow 😭😭😭 NOPE they jus killed some randoms in their backstory which is told to us with no consequence and no one cares and also it doesn’t matter ., 😭😭 and this kind of writing is really what makes this book so frustrating to read. It’s hard to care about any of the characters because at no point did it feel like i really knew or understood any of them beyond a surface level.,, and so none of our main group really feel bonded in any significant way, when they were walking the gauntlet i was fr in denial bc i was like there is no way??? they’re already descending into hell??? when they’re have had literally no in depth character moments??? like how am i supposed to really feel the weight of this????? this is obviously felt the most with the secondary characters but i felt it even between darlington and alex?? i was never fully convinced that she would go to hell for him., we are told all through the first book that she takes care of herself first but then like?? will risk everything for darlington?? bc he was sorta nice to her for a month like???? it’s jus not working.. to sell that you REALLY need to feel their relationship but u never do 💔💔💔
• post circle darlington ☹️ 90% of this book is then trying to release darlington but also arguing for him not to be released bc no one knows how different he will be and blah blah, so to go through all that and to have him finally out and it turns out he’s basically the same but just insanely horny??? it’s so criminal 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you spend the whole book thinking about how demons love puzzles and darlington can never say what he thinks so what can he really mean and then u finally get his POV and it turns out the reason he can’t say what he thinks is bc he jus ruminating on fucking alex 24/7 😭😭 like babes i love a down bad man as much as the next but it was a bit of a let down , like yeah in any other book i’d be eating that up but like??? after 300 pages of pure boredom it’s almost insulting to have it devolve into a by the numbers YA romance like??? 😵💫 ALSO the way he would go demon mode whenever alex was in danger was so cringey 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the tiktok alpha male werewolf must protect my omega transformation of it all 💔💔 that paired with calling alex his “monstrous queen” aka joker harley quinn she was crazier than him moment.,, some tough reads. That being said;
“It snakes around Darlingtons throat and yanked him away from Not Hellie… Darlington fell back on his haunches with a growl. Like a hound brought to heel.”
Alex leashing him like a dog???????? awoooga (lowkey)
• there just felt like there were so many missed plot opportunities, the books feels like it’s about nothing and we don’t understand the characters any more than we did after the first book… i know i jus finished my darlington section but the biggest example of this is the fact that Alex letting darlington be sucked into hell is barely even mentioned…. like that reveal is such a face crack moment in the first book and we’re left with all this delicious tension wondering that even if alex did save him, would darlington want to see her and would he blame her and then in this one it’s resolved in the three seconds.,,,he jus don’t gaf 😭😭😭😭 SO LAME.., that’s the one that sticks out the most the whole book is littered with instances like this ☹️
• the whole eitan subplot was stupid and added nothing to the story 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the resolution to it being that he randomly shows up at the end for 0.3 seconds and then is IMMEDIATELY nuked 💀 GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY
• no bridegroom..,,…,, i cant even talk about this it hurts too much 💔💔💔💔 bro is still on campus but not part of the gang 💔💔💔 alex doesn’t even think about him at all except to recap what happened in the last book 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 instead of exploring how he could b one of the murders they jus retconned dumb backstories for tripp and turner 💔💔💔💔💔💔no one hmu i’m sick of the snakes 🐍
The Dani Section:
only reason i got thru this book in one piece is i read it with dani 😋💖 these r messages she sent that i feel must be enshrined here because they changed my brain chemistry forever
•sadly i have had to come to terms with no bridegroom appearances or mentions missing my babygirl everyday
•also idk if it’s jsut me but i feel so dumb they keep quoting all this literature and im like lol idk what y’all are talking about 🧌🧌🧌
•yeah this was so 🤡 like babe u spent like nearly 250 pages getting here where u just waffled but you don’t wanna dedicate some of that waffle to the other characters???? who are literally going to hell for some dude 😭😭😭
•like alex girlie if you don’t want darlington and his glowing cock, i’ll take him 😋😋😋😋😋
•the wolves quoting scripture had me howling
•THE GENTLEMAN OF LETHE HAD RETURNED IM FLYING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS RIGHT NOW
•the way darlington’s horny ass is written is sending me into orbit. this whole scene in his room im sitting here like ok so y’all gonna kiss??? yall gonna fuck??? get it over with. stop blueballing me 😭🤙🤙
•i actually inwardly die everytime Darlington like powers up to demon mode i imagine this whole like cw transformation like in vampire diaries when the vampires suddenly get veiny eyes and shit
•I WAS LIKE WHY DID IT TURN INTO A WATTPAD FIC AT THE END
•the distinct lack of descriptions about his glowing cock post coming back from hell really tanked the book
•if i don’t get a scene where it’s really dark and they don’t have a flashlight and alex uses the glowing dick as a flashlight the book’s a write off
•my 2016 monsta x next door fanfic trumps this if we’re being brutally honest
so yeah overall the book is an undercooked over explained mess 😋 but it’s OUR undercooked over explained mess 💖💖🫶 dani and i WILL b seated and strapped in when the third book is released and we WILL b non stop yapping about how messy it is ☝️🤓
this series is our boulder and we r sisyphus reincarnated 🫶 peace and love 🫶 shout out to dawes saying “first we cook” if only leigh bardugo had done the same 💔
“Our bodies are food for worms. Why should our souls not be made meals too?”