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A review by lukenotjohn
Art of Being a Healing Presence: A Guide for Those in Caring Relationships by James E. Miller
3.75
We read this in my second week of CPE, and it was really helpful in that context to flesh out and put language to a lot of how we'd been encouraged to engage during our orientation. It tracks with a lot of other Christian pastoral care/spirituality reading I'd done (especially [a:Parker Palmer|15253192|Parker Palmer|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and [a:Henri Nouwen|18882704|Henri Nouwen|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]), but is from a less contextualized source and could be applicable across faith or without a faith tradition. Along those lines, I was intrigued by the way that "healing" was depicted as its own independent force, and while I can synthesize God into that, I did appreciate their sense that we're essentially wired for wholeness, and always capable of moving closer towards it. This is the crux of the book, which gives way to their central idea that no one can be a "healer," so to speak, only a "healing presence" who bears witness to and encourages and appreciates the process of healing they recognize in others.
It's easy to be dismissive towards this and to roll our eyes at it. I get that. It's also easy to feel guilty or negligent when adopting this posture. I couldn't really trust it until I was in the moment with a grieving mother in the Emergency Department that I realized (1) she wasn't able to receive anything other than presence at that point and (2) your body and spirit can tell the difference between simply being present and offering your presence. The book gently challenges our own self-serving impulses to do more, rooted in the best and worst of intentions. That said, it does offer a few more tangible ways of thinking about what you can offer as a healing presence: chapter 9 describes "holding certainty" in the potential of healing for the Other who at the time lacks confidence in that possibility, and chapter 10 articulates how we model a way of living from our "quiet center" in times of crisis that can help others recognize they have that within themselves too. It's a very short read (made shorter by the pages of quotes), and I was tempted to give 3 stars for its relative simplicity verging on being under-developed. But I also think it's practicing what it preaches in avoiding being too directive, verbose, or heavy-handed, so I'll go for the fourth.
It's easy to be dismissive towards this and to roll our eyes at it. I get that. It's also easy to feel guilty or negligent when adopting this posture. I couldn't really trust it until I was in the moment with a grieving mother in the Emergency Department that I realized (1) she wasn't able to receive anything other than presence at that point and (2) your body and spirit can tell the difference between simply being present and offering your presence. The book gently challenges our own self-serving impulses to do more, rooted in the best and worst of intentions. That said, it does offer a few more tangible ways of thinking about what you can offer as a healing presence: chapter 9 describes "holding certainty" in the potential of healing for the Other who at the time lacks confidence in that possibility, and chapter 10 articulates how we model a way of living from our "quiet center" in times of crisis that can help others recognize they have that within themselves too. It's a very short read (made shorter by the pages of quotes), and I was tempted to give 3 stars for its relative simplicity verging on being under-developed. But I also think it's practicing what it preaches in avoiding being too directive, verbose, or heavy-handed, so I'll go for the fourth.