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A review by alexandrabree
Kronos by Jeremy Robinson
2.0
I don't really understand how this falls into a larger series.
The parts I loved were great, the parts that lost me... I am still lost on. There was so much to build on!!!
The biggest problems I have picked out are that EASILY could have been fixed
1.way to many characters knew way too much too soon. Why did the random French lady have a camera? That got one clear picture? If I were editing, I would have said, "Create more tension." Xyz believes that the monster is real and Abc does not. Have the military be divided on the subject. Is it really a monster? It it a crazy Atlantian biotech? Is it an alien? Is it the lochness monster? Is it an enemy submarine? (North Korean, Russian, Chinese, Arabian?)
2. Leave Giona (Jonah *eyeroll*) a mysterious blank, unaware that she's not in the water dreaming mysterious dreams (acient civilization? Past lives?) Even better, just a normal blank, we could have thought she was dead 2/3? 3/4? Of the way through!!
3. Under play the bad man angles. Again, it is too much upfront that these are "bad guys" throw in a red herring. A curve ball is ge good. Is he bad? make some of the bad guys likable and sneaky. Treacherous.. take a George RR M approach where you never know who is on what side.
4. Like MEG (Alten) or Kronos Rising (Hawthorn) play on the sexy woman, sexy man angles, that these people are attractive and charismatic makes some of the "superhuman" or "extra good luck multiple times on multiple fronts" more glossoverable. Our main character should have been Adonis (Alex Hunter, Jack Reacher, Acheron Parthenopaeus, Jason Bourne) smart, sexy, fit, it's a tripe because it works. The rekindled romance between two souls, her a genius, sexy, curvy, gin drinking, chocolate loving, tiny prize fighter.
5. Make the monster much more mysterious, drag out the reveals a bit more, play up the deadlyness, throw in more gore that could be the monster, could be man made or could be unrelated (great white casualties, orca attacks, squid attack, killed by the millionare and his men, a government of anykind testing a weapons program...something!) Red herrings left and right for what is the monster and what is not...
Anyways needless to say, I am not really thinking of taking up the series
The parts I loved were great, the parts that lost me... I am still lost on. There was so much to build on!!!
The biggest problems I have picked out are that EASILY could have been fixed
1.way to many characters knew way too much too soon. Why did the random French lady have a camera? That got one clear picture? If I were editing, I would have said, "Create more tension." Xyz believes that the monster is real and Abc does not. Have the military be divided on the subject. Is it really a monster? It it a crazy Atlantian biotech? Is it an alien? Is it the lochness monster? Is it an enemy submarine? (North Korean, Russian, Chinese, Arabian?)
2. Leave Giona (Jonah *eyeroll*) a mysterious blank, unaware that she's not in the water dreaming mysterious dreams (acient civilization? Past lives?) Even better, just a normal blank, we could have thought she was dead 2/3? 3/4? Of the way through!!
3. Under play the bad man angles. Again, it is too much upfront that these are "bad guys" throw in a red herring. A curve ball is ge good. Is he bad? make some of the bad guys likable and sneaky. Treacherous.. take a George RR M approach where you never know who is on what side.
4. Like MEG (Alten) or Kronos Rising (Hawthorn) play on the sexy woman, sexy man angles, that these people are attractive and charismatic makes some of the "superhuman" or "extra good luck multiple times on multiple fronts" more glossoverable. Our main character should have been Adonis (Alex Hunter, Jack Reacher, Acheron Parthenopaeus, Jason Bourne) smart, sexy, fit, it's a tripe because it works. The rekindled romance between two souls, her a genius, sexy, curvy, gin drinking, chocolate loving, tiny prize fighter.
5. Make the monster much more mysterious, drag out the reveals a bit more, play up the deadlyness, throw in more gore that could be the monster, could be man made or could be unrelated (great white casualties, orca attacks, squid attack, killed by the millionare and his men, a government of anykind testing a weapons program...something!) Red herrings left and right for what is the monster and what is not...
Anyways needless to say, I am not really thinking of taking up the series