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A review by ibeeeg
Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve by Lewis B. Smedes
5.0
I found Forgive & Forget to be very insightful. I came away from the book with far more understanding than when I started reading. Coming away from this book as I did has provided me another level of peace and comfort.
Forgiveness is tricky business and I don't quite understand all the intricacies of it but I do understand the importance. I also now have a better grasp of the emotions involved in this whole business of forgiveness. One of the troubles of forgiveness is understanding where emotions of wrongs felt and done fit into the act of forgiveness. I have read some reviews where readers are dissatisfied to an extent because the book doesn't explain the "how to" of forgiveness. While Forget & Forgive doesn't give you a step by step plan for how to forgive, I do believe the content's depth and the insightfulness gained gives a person the "how to" of forgiveness plan. It's just not spelled out.
For me, this book validated thoughts and emotions along with helping me to start to release them in a healthy way. Forgiveness, for some situations, may seem like the offender gets away with their bad deeds. In truth, even if the offender is not remorseful, forgiveness sets free the offended. I have heard that before but this book explained this process in a way that makes sense. I now believe this to be true - to forgive is to gain freedom while not negating the depth of hurt or giving the offender a free pass per se.
Not only was the content full of depth and insightfulness, the writing was incredibly engaging. Seriously, I wrote many quotes down simply because of the words Lewis Smedes would use. His word choices were down to earth and straight to the topic at hand while giving incredible thought provoking examples to illustrates his points.
One of my favorite quotes...
"Once we forgive and learn to swallow history's stinking garbage without throwing up, we condition ourselves to digest the worst the monsters of the future can force down our throats." P.134
(Note: the quote, when taken out of context, seems to imply a case against forgiveness when read in context he is not making this case.)
I recommend this book for a better understanding regarding forgiveness; it dives into the emotions of it all. For more understand for how to apologize and to understand ones apology language (which is important for the entire forgiveness proceeds) - I recommend the When Sorry Isn't Enough.
Note: the copy I read of Forgive & Forget was a library copy. This book's insightfulness, helpfulness and engaging writing prompted me to purchase a copy so that I can re-read various parts and highlight the many quotes and passages that struck me.
Forgiveness is tricky business and I don't quite understand all the intricacies of it but I do understand the importance. I also now have a better grasp of the emotions involved in this whole business of forgiveness. One of the troubles of forgiveness is understanding where emotions of wrongs felt and done fit into the act of forgiveness. I have read some reviews where readers are dissatisfied to an extent because the book doesn't explain the "how to" of forgiveness. While Forget & Forgive doesn't give you a step by step plan for how to forgive, I do believe the content's depth and the insightfulness gained gives a person the "how to" of forgiveness plan. It's just not spelled out.
For me, this book validated thoughts and emotions along with helping me to start to release them in a healthy way. Forgiveness, for some situations, may seem like the offender gets away with their bad deeds. In truth, even if the offender is not remorseful, forgiveness sets free the offended. I have heard that before but this book explained this process in a way that makes sense. I now believe this to be true - to forgive is to gain freedom while not negating the depth of hurt or giving the offender a free pass per se.
Not only was the content full of depth and insightfulness, the writing was incredibly engaging. Seriously, I wrote many quotes down simply because of the words Lewis Smedes would use. His word choices were down to earth and straight to the topic at hand while giving incredible thought provoking examples to illustrates his points.
One of my favorite quotes...
"Once we forgive and learn to swallow history's stinking garbage without throwing up, we condition ourselves to digest the worst the monsters of the future can force down our throats." P.134
(Note: the quote, when taken out of context, seems to imply a case against forgiveness when read in context he is not making this case.)
I recommend this book for a better understanding regarding forgiveness; it dives into the emotions of it all. For more understand for how to apologize and to understand ones apology language (which is important for the entire forgiveness proceeds) - I recommend the When Sorry Isn't Enough.
Note: the copy I read of Forgive & Forget was a library copy. This book's insightfulness, helpfulness and engaging writing prompted me to purchase a copy so that I can re-read various parts and highlight the many quotes and passages that struck me.