Scan barcode
A review by elusivity
A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon
4.0
This book marries neurophysiology with the Attachment Theory, via poetic -- if occasionally florid -- language. It posits that human beings possess three layers of brains: the reptilian, the mammalian, and the neocortex. The reptilian governs our most basic acts and instincts, such as our heartbeats, our fight or flight response. The mammalian governs our emotions and emotional communication, and is responsible for empathy, the foundation of basic human morality. Finally, the neocortex governs our sophisticated language centers and rational, strategic thinking.
As a theory, Attachment seems to be on the rise these days in popular psychology to explain the foundation of human happiness or lack thereof: i.e. that our developmental years as vital to our adult emotional stability. A steady, loving caregiver will produce an emotionally-stable human being who is not afraid to love and to give love. A cold, distant caregiver will produce an emotionally-avoidant adult who fears, even despises, intimacy. And a caregiver who blows cold and hot will produce an anxious human being, who will tend to fall into extremely turbulent relationships by their fear of, and heightened sensitivity to, abandonment.
Combined with neurophysiology, the authors goes on to say that our mammalian brains communicate to each other constantly, beyond words. People in close emotional relationships help balance each other's mood, harmonize heart beats, regulate blood pressures, and even their sleeping cycles. A caregiver -- a mother, this book stipulates, is best, because nature built women to release a glut of bonding hormones upon giving birth -- and a baby's relationship is therefore vital -- regulating the baby's heart beat, hormones, developing brain structure, and thus shaping its fundamental understanding of the world. Therefore, if you are raised by a not-so-great caregiver, you're kind of screwed, doomed to some crappy relationships unless you invest 5 years or 10 on a therapist's couch, where talk is cheap, but that your mammalian brain may be slowly but surely modified by that of an emotionally-stable therapist is the only cure. (A disingenuous recommendation, if ever I heard one, as the authors are working psychologists. Surely there is some other way to help yourself? While the intellect cannot dictate the heart, but surely it could guide in a round-about-way, once you know the underlying mechanics?)
All very interesting stuff, written so that I, with a bachelor's degree in Psych (therefore very basic understanding, alas), could easily comprehend. Highly recommended as an introduction to both the Attachment Theory and neurophysiology, but you must move on to other books for what to do afterward.
As a theory, Attachment seems to be on the rise these days in popular psychology to explain the foundation of human happiness or lack thereof: i.e. that our developmental years as vital to our adult emotional stability. A steady, loving caregiver will produce an emotionally-stable human being who is not afraid to love and to give love. A cold, distant caregiver will produce an emotionally-avoidant adult who fears, even despises, intimacy. And a caregiver who blows cold and hot will produce an anxious human being, who will tend to fall into extremely turbulent relationships by their fear of, and heightened sensitivity to, abandonment.
Combined with neurophysiology, the authors goes on to say that our mammalian brains communicate to each other constantly, beyond words. People in close emotional relationships help balance each other's mood, harmonize heart beats, regulate blood pressures, and even their sleeping cycles. A caregiver -- a mother, this book stipulates, is best, because nature built women to release a glut of bonding hormones upon giving birth -- and a baby's relationship is therefore vital -- regulating the baby's heart beat, hormones, developing brain structure, and thus shaping its fundamental understanding of the world. Therefore, if you are raised by a not-so-great caregiver, you're kind of screwed, doomed to some crappy relationships unless you invest 5 years or 10 on a therapist's couch, where talk is cheap, but that your mammalian brain may be slowly but surely modified by that of an emotionally-stable therapist is the only cure. (A disingenuous recommendation, if ever I heard one, as the authors are working psychologists. Surely there is some other way to help yourself? While the intellect cannot dictate the heart, but surely it could guide in a round-about-way, once you know the underlying mechanics?)
All very interesting stuff, written so that I, with a bachelor's degree in Psych (therefore very basic understanding, alas), could easily comprehend. Highly recommended as an introduction to both the Attachment Theory and neurophysiology, but you must move on to other books for what to do afterward.