A review by sacrificebyfire
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

5.0

This is a literal story of not judging a book by its cover...

Someone I trust very deeply about such issues recommended I read this book called "Boundaries." When I found it at the library, I was horrified! It looked like a cheesy self-help book, and worse, it had won the Gold Medallion Book Award - "in recognition of excellence in Evangelical Christian literature." Needless to say, I was terrified; in no way do I self-identify as an Evengelical. But like I said before, I trusted this person, so I checked it out and started reading...

WOW.

I'll just go ahead and say I wasn't much for the "real life examples" they put in the book, but I recognize the need for them in the book. However, that was nearly my only complaint with the book.

Broken into three sections (What are Boundaries?, Boundary Conflicts, and Developing Healthy Boundaries), this books takes the reader through the entire scope of boundaries. We learn how they are formed/neglected in early childhood, why they are good, how they create healthier relationships with ourselves, others, and God, etc. I especially like this book because it is honest. It admits that "the Christian Church" is a major contributor to bad boundaries or boundary-less people, but point out what the Bible really tells us about our boundaries with self, God, and others. It also tells the reader that creating boundaries is not really the most pleasant experience - it will make us happier and better people in the long run - but at first we will have intense feelings (anger, guilt, hurt) that mean we're probably successfully establishing boundaries, and that some so-called "relationships" may be lost in this growing process. It also was helpful because it addressed all human relationships: parents, children, romantic/spouses, and work.

I highly recommend this book to, well, everyone. I don't think there is a person out there who couldn't find something helpful in its pages. I would even recommend it to people who aren't especially religious or adhere to one faith (I'm not "textbook Christian" if there is such a thing, and I ignored the part where they said something complimentary about James Dobson). Biblical references aside, it offers us helpful tools and thoughts for happier, healthier, and more meaningful lives. It's one I will probably revisit many times over the coming years...