A review by kailincraft
Happier at Home: Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life by Gretchen Rubin

3.0

I struggled through this book, but at the same time felt an intense desire to finish it. That may be partially due to my innate need to finish books, although I've begun to adapt the life motto that life is too short to read bad books. I've heard of this book, and it's predecessor, The Happiness Project for a while now. This one was available at the library, so it's the one I read. I think I might enjoy the first one more, based off reviews and the fact that she references it so much in this book.

All that being said, this one left me thinking, and to me I guess that's the sign of a good book. I don't agree with much of the author's preferences or viewpoints, but I did like some of her activities and some of what she said made me think; even if the thought had nothing to do with what she'd written.

I do love her idea of "Secrets of Adulthood." I used to always wonder why no one wrote a book about how to be a grown-up, but then I figured it because a lot of being a grown-up is figuring it out. It's in the figuring out that we grow-up.

Here are a few of my favorite things she said:

"I wanted to make my time more rich and vivid... I wanted to make sure my time reflected my values"

In speaking to the notion that things, though we may tell ourselves they will, never slow down. " If I wanted a feeling of unhurriedness I'd have to create it now."

In speaking about consistently working out. "All you have to do is put on your running shoes and shut the door behind you."

"Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination" She talks about the menial, instant tasks we feel have to be done often overshadow the small, daily plugging-aways a big and important project take. (She's a big advocate of doing something daily or not at all and of the one minute rule, which she discusses here on her podcast. I resonate with the abstinence vs. moderation claim, too. She argues it's easier to give up something altogether than to try to do/eat/have it in moderation. I so agree. Whole 30 made it easy to say no to things because I'd given them up. Now saying no is much harder, even for the same foods, since I am on the moderation side of things now)

She has a theory called "suffering for 15 minutes" in which she says, " I decided to spend 15 minutes a day to rid myself of doing something that makes me feel bad." Her example was tackling a longtime photography project. Another example could be exercising. The options are endless, the pain is short, the outcome is less time spent worrying over something that never changes. She says later, " It's the task that's never started that's the most worrisome." Of everything I took away it's the helpful reminder that a little of something any day is the only way to realistically make any progress. In that same podcast she says, "you become rich with one coin" meaning that the everyday deposit of one coin is worth more than a one time "dump."

Her secrets of adulthood that I will adopt into my own:
Start early if possible
Cheerfulness is contagious, and crabbiness is even more contagious.
Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong.
If possible, return on Saturday for a day of rest at home before the week starts. (Something that Ben and I have discussed and try to put into practice.)

Finally, she ends with some questions in order to make your own happiness project:

1. What makes you feel good? What activities do you find fun, satisfying, or energizing?

2. What makes you feel bad? What are your sources of anger, irritation, boredom, frustration, or anxiety?

3. Is there any way in which you don't feel right about your life? Do you wish you could change your job, city, family situation, or other circumstances? Are you living up to your expectations for yourself? Does your life reflect your values?

4. Do you have sources of an atmosphere of growth? In what elements of your life do you find progress, learning, challenge, improvement and increased mastery?

Overall, I gave the book 3 stars. I didn't care for the writing, but I liked the thinking it made me do, so I guess I'd say it's a win! Even in writing about it, I realize I think I liked it more than I first cared to admit.