A review by marisa_n
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

dark emotional sad tense fast-paced

4.0

An intimate, tragic memoir about a child actor. The book read like a series of short journal entries, with the author’s voice slowly changing as she matured. In the book, she describes her childhood growing up in a household that was low-income, violent, and emotionally unpredictable. She recounts stories of being emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused by her mother. She unpacks the desperation and helplessness of trying to force herself to fit into a life she never wanted as an actress. She lays bare her poor coping mechanisms–OCD, disordered eating, alcoholism, and co-dependent relationships with shitty men. Lastly, she discusses her journey toward recovery. 

This book was hard to read as it was direct, graphic, and brutal. She goes into detail about the abuse from her mother, as well as from those around her. Although this book was centered on her mother, I found most of the people in her life just as bad, or at least complicit. From those also trying to abuse/manipulate her (ex: her grandmother, the creator, boyfriends), to those who stayed silent when she needed help (ex: her father, her grandfather). It is truly heartbreaking to think of a child / young adult surrounded by so many adults that are actively harming her. 

The book ends with...

Spoiler

her quitting acting, seeking help for her eating disorder, and coming to terms with her mother's abuse. At first, it felt like the book ended a little too abruptly. I thought perhaps she should have waited a bit longer--recovered, started the next phase of her life, etc--to publish the book. But I ultimately landed on the feeling that the reader isn't owed a happy ending. Moreover, there probably won't be one clear place in her life where she gets a happy end from there on out. Life will present many ups and downs. She will likely be unpacking her trauma, working on her coping mechanisms, and re-inventing herself over and over again for the rest of her life. Therefore, the messy ending was genuine.

Despite the backlash, I think this title is an appropriate summation of the book. We do not get to dictate how others process their trauma. We do not control if / how people mourn. We do not owe the dead a positive legacy, especially if they were objectively terrible people while alive. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Blood, Death, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Grief, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Adult/minor relationship, Cancer, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Drug use, Incest, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Religious bigotry, Sexual content, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, and Violence

Moderate: Self harm, Infidelity, Rape, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Medical content, Medical trauma, and Violence

TW: There are GRAPHIC details about her sexual abuse, eating disorder, and alcoholism. Please do not read this book if you find any of those topics triggering.