A review by thewordsdevourer
Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski

emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated

4.0

i went into this book knowing it would probably punch me in the gut, yet here i am, devastated and ever hateful of homophobia and repression after finishing it.

swimming in the dark shows life struggles in socialist poland, which are made doubly more complicated by being gay, as our main character(s) are. it has complex characters who dont pander to stereotypes or expectations. i also rly enjoy the depiction of life in poland at that time, esp ludwik's mounting frustration and fury built up from seemingly minute things to larger issues - that passport bureau scene is tense and excellent - showing the whole big picture of it all. his positionality and views on ways of survival that differ from janusz make for a nuanced exploration of both their relationship and country as well. hate making comparisons, but this is indeed reminiscent of cmbyn, albeit w/ much higher stakes.

i only wish the main couple's happier times were longer/shown more; we see their struggles but not enough of the good moments that bring them tgt in the first place and hold them through tougher times. the book's middle part - almost a montage of all the shitty aspects of life - somehow isnt as memorable; like i know what happened but am unable for the life of me rmb the order they happened in. 

nonetheless, this is a beautifully written book full of ambivalence that's able to weave simple words w/ striking metaphor and imagery into literary art; i underlined at least a couple phrases and sentences on almost every pg. ludwik's loves in this book - for/ janusz, for his own country, and for freedom - are complex, emotional, and heartbreaking - the last couple pgs gut-wrenching - and made me cry. this is def a book to read for beautiful writing and if one wants to feel both sad and angry.
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