A review by library_of_dreams_and_stories
Isoldesse by Kimberly Grymes

2.0

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me an ARC!

DNF'ed at 40%

I really didn’t want to DNF my first ARC.

[disclaimer: I do actually think this book is enjoyable. It’s just that I’m not the kind of person that would enjoy it. This is based on my opinions only.]

I requested this book because it looked intriguing, and also the pretty cover. The synopsis wasn’t quite my vibe - aliens? Boy troubles? But I figured it would be fun to try something new, and besides, the concept was cool.

The prologue got me so ready. There was real tension, the writing was pretty decent, the character had some mystery and a goal and a purpose and was on a moon of another planet.

Unfortunately, the cover was one of the best parts about the book.

My first problem: there were ~speshul names~. Why? I don’t know.
Kenna is a pretty good name. It’s pretty and it’s common enough.
But...Meegan? What the fuck? Sure it makes sense to say it that way, but who spells it like that? I know Meagan and Megan, but Meegan just doesn’t look like a word, much less a name. Apologies to anyone out there named Meegan, I’m not trying to be a bitch.
And Darci. Which is a name that I know but isn’t actually something I could imagine naming a miniature human.
And Cahleen? What is a Cahleen? Kahlen is a name I know. Kalen. Cathleen. Kathleen. Kaelen. Caylin.
But out of all of those decent names, our author went for...Cahleen.

The characters were indistinguishable from one another. I kept forgetting names (hence the lack of other names on that list) and I barely even remembered which of our three (six?) main characters was who.

Darci. This name literally tells you everything about the character. She’s a scatterbrained airheaded teenage girl with a passion for ~clothes~ and ~trends~. And that’s basically all we see of her until around a third of the way in, where plot twist she’s not actually that stupid. She’s not human, actually.



Meegan is also an alien. Because...I don’t know. She needed to come to Earth for something, I guess. She...knew stuff. I really don’t know. She was the info-dump paragraph out of the boring essay called the cast of characters.

“So, you’re over a hundred?” Kenna asked shakily while getting her bearings again on the road.
“Don’t freak out, but I’m more like three-hundred-and-eighteen. Believe it or not, Earth’s time is similar to what we had on Anuminis. I’m assuming it’s because our planets are similar in size and have a relatively similar position around the sun. But I can’t say for sure.”

Wow. Maybe you can tell me about the star position next. How is this relevant to you going to your friend’s house again?

And lastly, saving the worst for last…Kenna.



Kenna is...stupid. That’s the only word I have to describe her. She is clueless and despite being an “overworked straight-A student with a passion for space” or something, I couldn’t find a personality if I readjusted my telescope and stared into the void.

Now that you have met these white-paper cutout things called characters, we can move on to the plot.

Oh wait.

I didn’t see one of those, either.

Basically, there are alien races called the Anumen and the Obard, and they’re at war. I think. One or the other (or both) of these alien races worships a goddess called Idoldesse. I think. Anyway there are these people in positions called the Spiares, who have no real function as far as I know. And then there is Kenna, Meegan, Darci, and some other people that I don’t remember, on Earth. I just remember being annoyed.
Kenna mysteriously receives an Anumen arcstone necklace that...sucks in her energy and makes her see the woman trapped inside the stone? I think? Something like that? And this introduces Kenna to the world of the Anumen aliens.

But the thing is…*sigh*
Kenna shouldn’t be able to connect to the stone. Somehow, something about this human girl is Speshul™ enough to connect to an alien necklace.



This is when stuff starts getting out of hand. First of all, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Ally and an alien. Second, I have no idea what the hell happened for the 100+ pages that I read. What I read was: Kenna, Meegan, Darci and Ally stress out over boys. They cry because someone got broken up with or something. Kenna faints because she gets a magic necklace. Meegan reveals herself to be an alien and tries to figure out why Kenna has a magic necklace. They cry because someone got broken up with or something. Kenna sees the magical old lady and some other aliens in a war and gets confused. The girls...go to the mall? They cry because someone got broken up with or something.

And then there are other alien spy people searching for one of their alien spy people who is on Earth who escaped or something.

I am so confused. Meegan is over THREE CENTURIES OLD but she acts like an immature twelve-year-old. She throws tantrums, freaks out, and despite being on a ~mission to Earth~ from her planet, she’s all ~heartbroken~ because she had to break up with her boyfriend, who was a regular human guy. She is THREE HUNDRED and in the middle of an ALIEN WAR and her priority is to cry over some human who’s literally like 6.25% as old as her?

And Gemma (who I just remembered existed) was supposed to be some kind of ancient, strong alien soldier and what she ends up doing is...having a meltdown at the mall because her boyfriend is “acting stupid”.



Where is the alien war? Where are the cool hallucinations? Where is the STORY? I was promised a cool spaceship adventure and solving a mystery about a goddess.

I read forty percent of this book. Almost halfway. And this book is over 400 pages. I read almost 200 pages and there was no? action? anywhere? Someone got kidnapped but it wasn’t even important because I didn’t know who the fuck they were. I just couldn’t find a plot. Maybe it left to find Kenna’s personality.

“What did you just ask me?” Kenna’s tone was a mixture of surprise and anger. “Tell me you’re not the one who gave me this damn necklace? Or…” she lifted her wrist without breaking eye contact, “…put these things on us?”
“No, I swear! I didn’t—I mean, I don’t know who did. Kenna, please—”
“Don’t please me! Do you have any idea what kind of shit I’ve been going through? The pain and—and the hallucinations! I thought I was losing my mind!”

Chill. Meegan is literally trying to explain.

She asked one question and Kenna just decided to start ranting about how she started seeing insane things without actually waiting for an explanation of the insane things. It’s like she just wanted to complain instead of figure out what was happening to her or something.

The world-building made literally no sense to me. You remember that quote about Anumen being in a close position around the sun or something?

Does that mean this alien planet is close to Earth in our solar system? But no one knows that there’s a planet (maybe two planets) near the Earth in our solar system?

And I don’t see the difference between the Anumen and Obard aliens. They’re at war. That’s all I know. All of the aliens have bright orange eyes (yes, orange eyes) and look gorgeous. As in, they’re mistaken for supermodels.



I just didn’t understand. There was an alien rebel force from one planet but there was a group of spies from another planet and one other group was doing something about a goddess? What? I didn’t get any of it. The only thing I knew about the Obard and the anumen was that they were pretty and had orange eyes.

“Your aunt has Spidey-Senses that work three states away? That’s freaking crazy, yet kind of cool.”
“Like I said, she’s special. One of the more powerful Anumens. Someone we call a Sėara.”

First of all...Spidey-Senses?
Is this girl really nineteen?
Second, a “Sėara”. Which sounds the same as a “seer”. Because this woman can sense things.



Now for the longest, most tiring part of my review: the writing.

"Oh, mother of—this is freaking insane!” She couldn’t look away. Her curiosity overpowered the flight part of her brain screaming for her to run inside.
Those are smaller ships, like a dinghy on a bigger boat or—or a dropship like in one of my dad’s books. Shuttle ships for away missions! “Oh my God, am I seriously trying to rationalize this with science fiction!”

This is Kenna, talking to literally no one on the roof of her apartment. Or is it her house? Apartment building? I don’t remember. I remember reading that she lived in an apartment and I know she had a roommate but I also remember her having a front door? And one apartment doesn’t have an entire roof for stargazing, so I don’t really know.

Yay, inconsistencies.

Anyway. Kenna is talking to no one after seeing a UFO appearance in the place of a star. She literally sees the UFO. And now she is...talking about it. To her telescope stand. Because she’s alone and stargazing. And she’s talking about her thoughts out loud. Because I absolutely will talk about my rationalization of a spaceship in the middle of a rooftop (or wherever the hell she is) to no one.

“The overwhelming sense of emotions hummed beneath Kenna’s skin and filled her tear ducts.”

What is this sentence? Why? What?

“Why? Because you and your family are into witchcraft? That your little witch cult… what do you call yourselves, Anumens… are into voodoo spells and magic. You underestimate how much he loved you. Your secret life never interfered with our everyday friendship or your relationship. I’m sure he would’ve understood if you gave him the chance. We both would’ve!”

A comprehensive list of all the things wrong with this paragraph:
1. All Meegan said was that she was an Anumen, which Kenna has only heard once before. And suddenly Kenna is calling Meegan a witch and talking about voodoo, which I didn’t even realize was also considered witchcraft? And she’s suddenly decided that the Anumen are a cult? A cult of witches? Even though Meegan hasn’t actually said anything about what an Anumen is? And Kenna doesn’t know what it means? Her logic really flew out the window on this one.
2. Why is “voodoo” italicized? It doesn’t have to be italicized. The inflection on that word makes no sense in the sentence.
3. Kenna is insisting that she and Meegan’s ex would have “understood” if she’d revealed her secret life, and yet she doesn’t even realize that Meegan isn’t a witch. So…

Basically, Kenna is an obnoxious bitch who doesn’t have enough brain cells to comprehend the fact that she might be wrong. And she’s usually wrong.

“Seriously, you know me well enough to know I don’t have time for that kind of drama. Ben was the name of the guy in my dream last night. I promise, he’s not real.” She picked up her phone. No new messages. “And Liam, well Liam’s a good friend. And—”
“Ben is some guy you’ve been crushing on?”
“Uh, no.” She shook her head and glared at Meegan. “Did you not just hear me? I don’t have any time to date. I don’t even have time for a one-nighter!"

“I don’t even have time for a one-nighter.”
Ahahahahaha -
What.

So Kenna tries to explain her dream about the aliens, and Meegan, despite being an alien herself, decides that the guy in Kenna’s dream is someone she wants to have a fling with? And Kenna's argument for not having a fling with him is that she doesn’t have the time?

I don’t understand.

“The older woman’s head dipped, and without looking up she said, “I didn’t see it coming. The blade that pierced my side. The pressure of her hand pushing the hilt harder against my dress. She pleaded with me to forgive her as her tears and my blood spilled. She shoved the arcstone into my hand and held my palm closed over it while she recited the ascension amula. My thoughts raced with everything I hadn’t finished. The family and friends I would never see again. Isoldesse took that from me. She took everything from me and left me in solitude. Yet—I cannot hate her.”

Why the FUCK did Ulissa just randomly start narrating her death?

“I didn’t see it coming. The blade that pierced my side. The pressure of her hand pushing the hilt harder against my dress...My thoughts raced with everything I hadn’t finished. The family and friends I would never see again.”

This is literally a first-person POV inner monologue, and yet Ulissa is saying the whole thing out loud. Because naturally when describing your death you must switch to the dramatic first person monologue instead of actually talking about what happened.

And then of course there were the basic grammatical errors.

“The flame on the end of the candle flickered providing a soft glow over the mirror.”

“The flame on the end of the candle” - we know where the fire goes on a candle.
There should also be a comma between “flickered” and “providing”.

“Meegan opened her eyes and saw her best friend smiling at her and mouthing reassuring cheers like you got this and you’re doing great.”

This is a cringe-worthy run-on sentence. I could have written something better than this in sixth grade. I actually probably did.
Anyway, it appears I have to take over for the editor of this book.

“Meegan opened her eyes and saw her best friend smiling at her, mouthing reassuring things like ‘you got this!’ and ‘you’re doing great’.”

“Ulissa nodded. Her brown hair twisted in a beautiful updo.”

Um.
This makes no sense.
Is her hair twisting itself into an updo? Like an automatic hairstyle? Like those annoying trolls?



You could say her hair is twisted into a beautiful updo, but otherwise it sounds like she’s an obnoxious glittery goblin creature.



hahahahahaha I apologize for the overuse of annoyed memes, I have a whole Pinterest board I save for reviews.

Overall, the concept of this book was intriguing, but I had way too many problems. If you get to the 25% mark and there’s still no plot, I don’t expect to care that much (unless it’s really, really good, which this wasn’t). I think the way this book was set up, my questions and the plot holes would have been resolved at the end. I just didn't care enough to get there.