Scan barcode
A review by dorothy_gale
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay, Foster Cline
4.0
This book was the oldest book on my to-read list; I've owned a hardcover version since January 2016. I forget how I came across it, but I knew at least one other parent who liked it. I ended-up checking out the Audio CD version from my library and finished it in less than 6 days (audible didn't have this title).
I gave this book 4 stars because 75% of the content was 5-star worthy, and 25% was 1-star worthy. In the 5-star was the core idea of letting thoughtful consequences be the "punishment" for undesirable behavior. In the 1-star was an oversimplification of harder issues like dealing with trauma, tragedy, drugs and divorce. The book was first published in 1990 and I had the "Updated and Expanded Edition" from 2006, but the author only explicitly said they changed their minds on one thing -- spanking (now discouraged). But it is due for an update on its topics of screen time and smart phones.
Where the book excels is giving parents short, scripted responses to circumvent repetitive or unproductive conversations with your kids, and addressing a variety of common scenarios. It does say these conversations take practice and time, which is in line with how I teach safety conversations to encourage thinking and ultimately change behavior. Another cool bonus topic toward the end of the book was teaching your kids your values, which he says happens one of two ways: (1) by actions your kids witness you taking, or (2) in your interactions directly with them. What is unsaid here is that just speaking and repeating your values is insufficient. I agree most of the time, but I do specifically remember my mom saying "I hate liars" and that has stuck with me (and my brother) ever since.
The book is split into tips in the first part, and "pearls" in the second part. The first section is better than the second. I am considering buying copies for my siblings after I find out what format they would prefer. I haven't read many parenting books but, despite its flaws, this one is at the top of my list. I hope a younger author picks up the theories/program and releases a modernized version. It is encouraging to see they have a robust website with classes, webinars, YouTube videos and conferences.
I gave this book 4 stars because 75% of the content was 5-star worthy, and 25% was 1-star worthy. In the 5-star was the core idea of letting thoughtful consequences be the "punishment" for undesirable behavior. In the 1-star was an oversimplification of harder issues like dealing with trauma, tragedy, drugs and divorce. The book was first published in 1990 and I had the "Updated and Expanded Edition" from 2006, but the author only explicitly said they changed their minds on one thing -- spanking (now discouraged). But it is due for an update on its topics of screen time and smart phones.
Where the book excels is giving parents short, scripted responses to circumvent repetitive or unproductive conversations with your kids, and addressing a variety of common scenarios. It does say these conversations take practice and time, which is in line with how I teach safety conversations to encourage thinking and ultimately change behavior. Another cool bonus topic toward the end of the book was teaching your kids your values, which he says happens one of two ways: (1) by actions your kids witness you taking, or (2) in your interactions directly with them. What is unsaid here is that just speaking and repeating your values is insufficient. I agree most of the time, but I do specifically remember my mom saying "I hate liars" and that has stuck with me (and my brother) ever since.
The book is split into tips in the first part, and "pearls" in the second part. The first section is better than the second. I am considering buying copies for my siblings after I find out what format they would prefer. I haven't read many parenting books but, despite its flaws, this one is at the top of my list. I hope a younger author picks up the theories/program and releases a modernized version. It is encouraging to see they have a robust website with classes, webinars, YouTube videos and conferences.