A review by avokaitotoast
Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor

informative reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Paul Takes The Form of a Mortal Girl - Andrea Lawlor

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

NSFW Content Warning: this book has (a lot of) graphic smut in it. You might already know that, but I always like to make that very clear at the start of my reviews in case that’s not your cup of tea. More details in my Content Warning if you’d like!

How to describe this book to someone asks “What are you reading?”:

A book of snapshots about gender and sexuality in the 90s.

Short Review (TL;DR):

• a wonderful portrayal of how it can feel to be queer; and to feel an otherness even within the community
• hidden gems of literary inspiration
• if you cannot read smut at all this is not for you. if you’re on the fence about it just get through the first chapter. it’s worth it.

Long Review:

“We’re just what we are.”

This book is a gut wrenching showcase of the queer experience. It’s more of a catalogue of Paul’s adventures with sexuality and gender than a plot-based narrative. If you come in looking for a love story or a grande queer redemption in the face of 90s homophobia you will be disappointed.

There are so many thoughts that Paul experiences that I think queer readers will read and think “exactly!”; when he fantasises about being with a woman, he’s also a woman; the imposter syndrome he faces both as Paul and as Polly; his constant confusion about “what he is” and “why is he like this”.

The jump between raunchy encounters and incredibly intellectual discussions about queer culture should have been disjointed, yet Lawlor somehow manages to make the stark contrast work. In a way, it provides depth to Paul’s character: yes, he’s flamboyant and almost stereotypical in the way he appreciates fashion and flirts and loves, but he is filled with a deep confusion, rage, and fear that is constantly being affirmed by the anti-queer climate.

The “interludes” (as I’m choosing to call them; iykyk) were unexpected and brought a more literary approach to the story. They can seem so random and unimportant, but they really give you something to chew on which I found really nice. The fairy (the pun must be intended) tale nature of them lends itself to Paul’s constant dialogue of the inherent otherworldly-ness he feels.

You can tell that queer history and experiences are something incredibly important and deeply studied by Lawlor. The more scholarly exploration can be a bit like reading an essay (which may not be everyone’s favourite), but they add a great deal of intelligence and understanding to Paul.

All in all this is an expressive narrative about the magical but brutal queer experience. It’s truly excellent.

“He could stay here forever, and time would stop, and he wouldn’t have to choose anything.”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content

How NSFW is this? I was hesitant to pick this up because of the NSFW nature. I don’t mind reading it, but I do feel like authors often hide their lack of technique, theme, or message behind erotica. However, interwoven between Paul’s (frequent) sexcapades are snapshots of what living as a queer person in the 90s was like: fear, rage, confusion, secrecy. The first chapter is incredibly explicit and then it tapers off. Most of the time I find that smut is unnecessary, however, it makes perfect sense in the narrative. It’s not uncommon for people to use promiscuity to mask or protect themselves from both themselves and the world around them. I feel like Lawlor did an excellent job expressing that through Paul. Further notes for those who want more information about the level of explicitly: * content is graphic, but often short * paul does think about sex often and sometimes in problematic ways * chapter 1 is incredibly explicit and Paul is definitely using sex as a coping mechanism and a way to connect with people. this does change! * Paul does revert to his more promiscuous adventures later - it again, aligns with the narrative. It is less graphic and less monopolising than the first chapter.