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A review by enchantedsleeper
Once and for All by Sarah Dessen
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
I enjoyed this book and I raced through it in two days, but I also agree with a lot of the gripes that other people have raised in the reviews.
The way that Sarah Dessen uses a school shooting to engineer a tragedy wherein the main character loses her first love felt... off. Hollow. I originally thought that the "loved and lost" that the blurb referred to was a bad breakup, and I kind of wish it had been. When she referenced the school shooting to show what had happened to Ethan it just felt like - really? We're going there? And while I felt like the young love element was handled well, Ethan's actual death felt less so. She never went to the memorial, and that's it? Wasn't she in touch with any of his friends, his family? They might not have been together for long, but everyone knew they were in a relationship! Did no-one reach out to her?
I think Louna's actual response of being jaded and cynical about love fit better with a bad breakup (and her background in the wedding industry), not traumatically losing a teenage love. I don't think she would be in the place where she was for this book just seven months later, much less willing to date around random guys because of... what, a bet? As others have pointed out, there was also no space on the page devoted to the horror of gun violence or any of those implications. It was just treated like "something that happens". And I'm not from the US, but I can't believe that anyone who is is that inured to it that they wouldn't dwell on the circumstances of how he died. Campaigned over gun rights. Been angry at the senselessness of how Ethan's life was taken. Not "I was SUPER SAD for seven months but I'm mostly okay now and ready to move on".
Ambrose as a character was okay. He was very much a retread of Dexter from This Lullaby, right down to the little dog, and started off as this arrogant guy but then actually wasn't? Possibly because Dessen realised this made him too unlikeable? Instead he's just clumsy and scatty, except that he's actually super reliable and great, and he juggles women constantly but that's their fault for getting attached to him, he never promised them anything. Geez. I think I preferred the relationships that all the background characters were getting into. William and the cheese guy were totally cute; I found the mum's romance with mister Work Clichés a bit convenient, especially the timing, but it was nice to have a parent figure - two, really - who actually communicates and is honest. Natalie and William being platonic besties was also adorable. I'll take a whole book about them navigating their new relationships alongside their close friendship with each other.
People have mentioned Jilly actually being a crummy friend to Louna and I kind of agree. She sets her up with clearly terrible guys and doesn't look out for her at a party. She's unimpressed by Ambrose when they first meet, which I get, but then does a complete 180 and is fine with him. And then she tells Ambrose about Ethan without even asking Louna? Even though she knows that Louna hasn't told him herself and must know that she doesn't want to? Nope, nope, nope. Do not do this to your friends, ever. I felt like that part, the patented Sarah Dessen moment where everything falls apart but it's fine because it will be solved by the end, felt a lot more contrived than usual. I was actively groaning when it happened. And I don't enjoy that part in any of her books, but in this one it felt particularly forced, because of how it happened. I had been preparing for Louna and Ambrose to finally have the conversation about Ethan, and in the end it wasn't even her that brought him up. She would have been justified in feeling seriously betrayed by Jilly, but it wasn't even an issue between them? And poor Ben. The Paul of the story (referencing This Lullaby), but at least Remy had the good grace to break it off with Paul before she reunited with Dexter (and did it for reasons unrelated to Dexter), whereas Louna straight-up abandoned Ben on her birthday, with no explanation, and then came back saying "I'm with this guy now"? Meanwhile her mum, William and their respective significant others are looking on? Yiiiiiiikes.
There were things to like about this book and I did find her romance with Ethan compelling, unlike some who found it unrealistic. But most of what happened in the present day? Not super sold. I think the wedding industry + a bad breakup would have been enough to make Louna cynical without needing to bring a *school shooting* of all things into the equation. Or if you're determined to do the tragedy, then do it right. Maybe make them friends at the end of the book for once instead of a couple. But that's not how The Formula goes.
I think Louna's actual response of being jaded and cynical about love fit better with a bad breakup (and her background in the wedding industry), not traumatically losing a teenage love. I don't think she would be in the place where she was for this book just seven months later, much less willing to date around random guys because of... what, a bet? As others have pointed out, there was also no space on the page devoted to the horror of gun violence or any of those implications. It was just treated like "something that happens". And I'm not from the US, but I can't believe that anyone who is is that inured to it that they wouldn't dwell on the circumstances of how he died. Campaigned over gun rights. Been angry at the senselessness of how Ethan's life was taken. Not "I was SUPER SAD for seven months but I'm mostly okay now and ready to move on".
Ambrose as a character was okay. He was very much a retread of Dexter from This Lullaby, right down to the little dog, and started off as this arrogant guy but then actually wasn't? Possibly because Dessen realised this made him too unlikeable? Instead he's just clumsy and scatty, except that he's actually super reliable and great, and he juggles women constantly but that's their fault for getting attached to him, he never promised them anything. Geez. I think I preferred the relationships that all the background characters were getting into. William and the cheese guy were totally cute; I found the mum's romance with mister Work Clichés a bit convenient, especially the timing, but it was nice to have a parent figure - two, really - who actually communicates and is honest. Natalie and William being platonic besties was also adorable. I'll take a whole book about them navigating their new relationships alongside their close friendship with each other.
People have mentioned Jilly actually being a crummy friend to Louna and I kind of agree. She sets her up with clearly terrible guys and doesn't look out for her at a party. She's unimpressed by Ambrose when they first meet, which I get, but then does a complete 180 and is fine with him. And then she tells Ambrose about Ethan without even asking Louna? Even though she knows that Louna hasn't told him herself and must know that she doesn't want to? Nope, nope, nope. Do not do this to your friends, ever. I felt like that part, the patented Sarah Dessen moment where everything falls apart but it's fine because it will be solved by the end, felt a lot more contrived than usual. I was actively groaning when it happened. And I don't enjoy that part in any of her books, but in this one it felt particularly forced, because of how it happened. I had been preparing for Louna and Ambrose to finally have the conversation about Ethan, and in the end it wasn't even her that brought him up. She would have been justified in feeling seriously betrayed by Jilly, but it wasn't even an issue between them? And poor Ben. The Paul of the story (referencing This Lullaby), but at least Remy had the good grace to break it off with Paul before she reunited with Dexter (and did it for reasons unrelated to Dexter), whereas Louna straight-up abandoned Ben on her birthday, with no explanation, and then came back saying "I'm with this guy now"? Meanwhile her mum, William and their respective significant others are looking on? Yiiiiiiikes.
There were things to like about this book and I did find her romance with Ethan compelling, unlike some who found it unrealistic. But most of what happened in the present day? Not super sold. I think the wedding industry + a bad breakup would have been enough to make Louna cynical without needing to bring a *school shooting* of all things into the equation. Or if you're determined to do the tragedy, then do it right. Maybe make them friends at the end of the book for once instead of a couple. But that's not how The Formula goes.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Gun violence, Grief, and Mass/school shootings
Minor: Animal cruelty, Infidelity, Vomit, and Car accident