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A review by jeannine_
While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence by Meg Kissinger
3.5
I listened to the audio book over the last two weeks, which is read by the author. This is an intimate memoir that is centered around the Kissinger family: a large Catholic family in the Midwest.
The first half of the book is the story of their family- how the parents met, the many kids and their early life, the parenting style, or at times, lack thereof. And, the way mental health challenges greatly affected their family. This includes multiple instances of death by suicide and most of the family members dealing with bipolar disorder, depression, and definitely (imo) PTSD. These traumatic incidents are compounded by the fact this all took place in what I think was the 60’s; the surviving children and parents didn’t talk about any of it, no one received therapy, and basically, barely acknowledged the trauma. It was a stuff-it-under-the-rug approach. Which, clearly didn’t help anyone, but, is also indicative of the cultural and societal approach at that time.
I found the first half-ish of the book (it’s a little more than the first half, maybe more like 65%) very interesting and engaging, and despite being a sad story, somehow not depressing at all. I appreciated the opportunity to learn about her and her family’s experiences.
The second half (minus the last chapter) though, really lost me. I mean it took this book for me from an almost-five-star to me repeatedly thinking “this is dragging, how much is left?” It just went too in the weeds and I think could have been edited to be more concise. I would have enjoyed this more overall had the book stuck to telling her family’s story more (including the present day, which is in the last chapter and I enjoyed) and the presentation of available mental health resources less. . Especially since much of this was outlining what was available in the past, and even the author acknowledges that today’s mental health climate is much different and better (still with a lot of room to grow).
So- overall, 3.5 stars.
The first half of the book is the story of their family- how the parents met, the many kids and their early life, the parenting style, or at times, lack thereof. And, the way mental health challenges greatly affected their family. This includes multiple instances of death by suicide and most of the family members dealing with bipolar disorder, depression, and definitely (imo) PTSD. These traumatic incidents are compounded by the fact this all took place in what I think was the 60’s; the surviving children and parents didn’t talk about any of it, no one received therapy, and basically, barely acknowledged the trauma. It was a stuff-it-under-the-rug approach. Which, clearly didn’t help anyone, but, is also indicative of the cultural and societal approach at that time.
I found the first half-ish of the book (it’s a little more than the first half, maybe more like 65%) very interesting and engaging, and despite being a sad story, somehow not depressing at all. I appreciated the opportunity to learn about her and her family’s experiences.
The second half (minus the last chapter) though, really lost me. I mean it took this book for me from an almost-five-star to me repeatedly thinking “this is dragging, how much is left?” It just went too in the weeds and I think could have been edited to be more concise. I would have enjoyed this more overall had the book stuck to telling her family’s story more (including the present day, which is in the last chapter and I enjoyed) and the presentation of available mental health resources less. . Especially since much of this was outlining what was available in the past, and even the author acknowledges that today’s mental health climate is much different and better (still with a lot of room to grow).
So- overall, 3.5 stars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Child death, Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent