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A review by heresthepencil
Concerto in Chroma Major by Naomi Tajedler
1.0
I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The main character of this book is a Polish lesbian - like myself! - so of course I was very excited to read it. Oh boy, do I wish I haven’t touched it…
Let’s start with the MC’s name. Halina Piotrowski. Now, I’ve lived in Poland my whole life and I know one (1) Halina. And she’s a 60 years old lady. But that’s nothing, right, maybe she has weird parents. The last name, though. I actually talked about it with the author on twitter before I even requested the ARC and was told “it’s explained in the novel, so you’ll understand!!”. Because, you see, we have grammatical genders in Polish and we use them for last names, too. Which means the surname Piotrowski has actually two forms: Piotrowski for guys and Piotrowska for girls. The author’s explanation in the book is that Halina wanted to show both her independence from her mother and her sexuality. None of which makes any sense! What does one’s sexuality have to do with one’s last name! And where do trans people fit in this conversation, since it’s them who would actually struggle to change that suffix?
Then there are the random Polish words that the MC only uses when she’s stressed. (Like we all know bilingual people do, sure, sure.) Words like “buhaj”, which I had to google, because I have never heard that in my life. Yes, it’s a translation for “bull”. No, it’s not actually used in everyday life. Unless for crosswords. The word “pączi” was also used as a plural for “pączek”, I suppose (“doughnuts”), only it should be “pączki”. My favourites, though, are “słoneczna” and “dzidzia” for endearment terms! First literally means “sunny” and you would never call anyone that, neither in Polish or English - what you’re looking for is “słonko”, “słońce” (a literal translation of “sun”, but actually an equivalent of “sunshine”, I’d say). The second is a word for “baby”, yeah. Again, though, context matters and we either use “dzidzia” for actual small babies or to lowkey insult someone. And at some point potato pancakes were translated as “placki”, when that just means “pancakes”.
Sure happy with how much research went into this!!
Now we can get into the really juicy stuff! The horrible and abundant biphobia and fatphobia! Oh, what a joy to read!
It’s constant throughout the book and while Halina’s prejudices are somewhat challenged, her assistant is even worse about it - and in their case, it’s never even addressed properly. It’s also kind of ridiculous to say it’s challenged, because what actually happens and what it feels like, is that Halina meets a fat, bi love interest to teach her that…. those are people, too? There’s literally a quote that goes:
I’m… not even sure how to comment on that? And it’s not even close to the worst we have to read!
If the biphobia and fatphobia aren’t enough to turn you off, have no fear. There’s also some culture appropriation.
Okay, so I complain a lot, there are clearly issues with the book… But is it at least written well enough, that you can overlook that?
Haha. Good joke!
The writing is mediocre at best and just a purple prose at worst. The characters aren’t fleshed out (apart from all their blatant prejudices, I guess). The main character and the love interest have no chemistry to speak off, there is absolutely no build-up to their relationship - they end up in bed five chapters in and the LI is “in love” with Halina like two weeks in. There’s also a tedious love triangle, because it’s 2018 and we… still haven’t had enough of them??
Honestly, all this book did was make me angry. I would never recommend this to anyone and I only wish I could forget it myself.
The main character of this book is a Polish lesbian - like myself! - so of course I was very excited to read it. Oh boy, do I wish I haven’t touched it…
Let’s start with the MC’s name. Halina Piotrowski. Now, I’ve lived in Poland my whole life and I know one (1) Halina. And she’s a 60 years old lady. But that’s nothing, right, maybe she has weird parents. The last name, though. I actually talked about it with the author on twitter before I even requested the ARC and was told “it’s explained in the novel, so you’ll understand!!”. Because, you see, we have grammatical genders in Polish and we use them for last names, too. Which means the surname Piotrowski has actually two forms: Piotrowski for guys and Piotrowska for girls. The author’s explanation in the book is that Halina wanted to show both her independence from her mother and her sexuality. None of which makes any sense! What does one’s sexuality have to do with one’s last name! And where do trans people fit in this conversation, since it’s them who would actually struggle to change that suffix?
Then there are the random Polish words that the MC only uses when she’s stressed. (Like we all know bilingual people do, sure, sure.) Words like “buhaj”, which I had to google, because I have never heard that in my life. Yes, it’s a translation for “bull”. No, it’s not actually used in everyday life. Unless for crosswords. The word “pączi” was also used as a plural for “pączek”, I suppose (“doughnuts”), only it should be “pączki”. My favourites, though, are “słoneczna” and “dzidzia” for endearment terms! First literally means “sunny” and you would never call anyone that, neither in Polish or English - what you’re looking for is “słonko”, “słońce” (a literal translation of “sun”, but actually an equivalent of “sunshine”, I’d say). The second is a word for “baby”, yeah. Again, though, context matters and we either use “dzidzia” for actual small babies or to lowkey insult someone. And at some point potato pancakes were translated as “placki”, when that just means “pancakes”.
Sure happy with how much research went into this!!
Now we can get into the really juicy stuff! The horrible and abundant biphobia and fatphobia! Oh, what a joy to read!
It’s constant throughout the book and while Halina’s prejudices are somewhat challenged, her assistant is even worse about it - and in their case, it’s never even addressed properly. It’s also kind of ridiculous to say it’s challenged, because what actually happens and what it feels like, is that Halina meets a fat, bi love interest to teach her that…. those are people, too? There’s literally a quote that goes:
Halina can’t help but gasp under the onslaught of sensations.
Oh, but this is delicious. I should have tried different body types before.
I’m… not even sure how to comment on that? And it’s not even close to the worst we have to read!
“I didn't expect someone of her type to be... hardworking, so to speak.”
“Her type?” [...]
“Oh, come on, Lina,” Ari says with a small, uncertain laugh. “People like her, yeah. Didn't you say she's bi? And she's a fatty too. Neither have the best rep.”
If the biphobia and fatphobia aren’t enough to turn you off, have no fear. There’s also some culture appropriation.
She [Alexandra] orders a Continental Sour and subtly checks to make sure the kimono fold of her dress is not too revealing. Just the top of her cleavage is showing. Good. Her outfit marks her as the quirky American artist who can bring color to the lives…
Okay, so I complain a lot, there are clearly issues with the book… But is it at least written well enough, that you can overlook that?
Haha. Good joke!
The writing is mediocre at best and just a purple prose at worst. The characters aren’t fleshed out (apart from all their blatant prejudices, I guess). The main character and the love interest have no chemistry to speak off, there is absolutely no build-up to their relationship - they end up in bed five chapters in and the LI is “in love” with Halina like two weeks in. There’s also a tedious love triangle, because it’s 2018 and we… still haven’t had enough of them??
Honestly, all this book did was make me angry. I would never recommend this to anyone and I only wish I could forget it myself.