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A review by pumpie
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler
I guess I've finished reading this (although I wasn't really reading it linearly), as I've finally had to hand it back to the library after starting work there a week ago, so that none of my colleagues would find out I'd been reading a self help book (the horror! the shame!). So perhaps the book didn't work 100% lol : ))
But still! Fairly solid advice, based on CBT, which I knew the gist of but it was nice to have worked through examples that were applicable to me. I found a lot of the exercises a bit...over the top personally, I find generally it's best for me to suck it up and just do it, but there were some very helpful points I took from the book. Namely:
1) Focus externally! I used to get into a terrible self-perpetuating blush, which I'd focus onto until my glasses steamed up (!) from the heat and I had to leave. Now I just force myself to focus on something, like counting the number of leaves on a nearby pot plant, which helps considerably.
2) Saftey behaviours increase your perception of danger! Don't do it.
3) Don't awfulise, or 'mind-read'! Has anyone actually said they think you're an idiot? That you're boring? Then they probably don't! They're probably only looking at you strangely because they themselves are feeling awkward, or are only yawning because they had a late night. These are not about you! Look at the facts objectively.
I have nothing to compare this too, so can't really say how much it's helped. However, when I started the book I was unemployed but now I have a job. Coincidence?!?!?!?
But still! Fairly solid advice, based on CBT, which I knew the gist of but it was nice to have worked through examples that were applicable to me. I found a lot of the exercises a bit...over the top personally, I find generally it's best for me to suck it up and just do it, but there were some very helpful points I took from the book. Namely:
1) Focus externally! I used to get into a terrible self-perpetuating blush, which I'd focus onto until my glasses steamed up (!) from the heat and I had to leave. Now I just force myself to focus on something, like counting the number of leaves on a nearby pot plant, which helps considerably.
2) Saftey behaviours increase your perception of danger! Don't do it.
3) Don't awfulise, or 'mind-read'! Has anyone actually said they think you're an idiot? That you're boring? Then they probably don't! They're probably only looking at you strangely because they themselves are feeling awkward, or are only yawning because they had a late night. These are not about you! Look at the facts objectively.
I have nothing to compare this too, so can't really say how much it's helped. However, when I started the book I was unemployed but now I have a job. Coincidence?!?!?!?