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A review by deep_in_the_reads
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi
5.0
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Nagata Kabi has this odd ability to make her doodle-esque art style break your heart. The lines are shakily drawn, her only tools are a pen and a pink marker, and sometimes you can see leftover sketch lines hiding under the pen which she missed when erasing. These happy accidents instantly connect me to the loving hand that made this work. The simple style is brilliant for expressing Kabi’s vulnerability in the story, and makes her instantly relatable.
Lesbian Experience reads as a series of stream-of-consciousness diary entries as opposed to a tightly-structured story, but it has a clear trajectory. It's a deeply personal portrait of a woman coming to terms with herself and learning to find fulfillment. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to reach through the pages and comfort someone in a story as much as I did reading this. Some may not be able to relate to Kabi's personal journey, but in my case, I connected with it so much that I almost felt like Kabi was inside my head. The only thing that brings her any hint of satisfaction is drawing, but she’s caught between believing she won’t succeed at it, and knowing she will never find fulfillment at a ‘real’ job. As a full-time artist, this resonated so much with me. I understood Kabi’s social anxiety, got scared with her, cried with her, and cheered for her small-yet-significant victories. There’s also a lot of humour in the story, like the way she visualizes different aspects of her mindset, or when she reveals something about herself that would make Oedipus blush. I love how she depicts her struggle to accept her repressed sexuality throughout (also, I now know what a yaoi hole is, and that's invaluable information). The climax of the story was a wonderful mix of emotions, being at once funny, awkward, charming, cathartic, and heartbreaking.
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness felt like meeting a new friend who understands aspects of myself that I often struggle with, and many readers are sure to find it as therapeutic as I did. Kabi criticizes herself for being too scared to open her heart to people, but she totally opened herself to the world through her art, and that takes a lot of courage. I love how the existence of the manga itself acts as part of her journey in that way, and reflects on her growth. That meta aspect is really fresh and unique. I also found this book hugely encouraging as an artist. Again: Kabi’s art is disarmingly simple, yet she was able to produce a deeply moving, personal work. The comic was posted in a niche corner of the internet, and gradually gained a following until she landed a publishing deal. So what’s holding back other artists from putting themselves out there, even if it means risking humiliation and rejection? It’s better than going unfulfilled day after day. You don’t have to be a lonely lesbian to love My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. But bonus points if you are.
Nagata Kabi has this odd ability to make her doodle-esque art style break your heart. The lines are shakily drawn, her only tools are a pen and a pink marker, and sometimes you can see leftover sketch lines hiding under the pen which she missed when erasing. These happy accidents instantly connect me to the loving hand that made this work. The simple style is brilliant for expressing Kabi’s vulnerability in the story, and makes her instantly relatable.
Lesbian Experience reads as a series of stream-of-consciousness diary entries as opposed to a tightly-structured story, but it has a clear trajectory. It's a deeply personal portrait of a woman coming to terms with herself and learning to find fulfillment. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to reach through the pages and comfort someone in a story as much as I did reading this. Some may not be able to relate to Kabi's personal journey, but in my case, I connected with it so much that I almost felt like Kabi was inside my head. The only thing that brings her any hint of satisfaction is drawing, but she’s caught between believing she won’t succeed at it, and knowing she will never find fulfillment at a ‘real’ job. As a full-time artist, this resonated so much with me. I understood Kabi’s social anxiety, got scared with her, cried with her, and cheered for her small-yet-significant victories. There’s also a lot of humour in the story, like the way she visualizes different aspects of her mindset, or when she reveals something about herself that would make Oedipus blush. I love how she depicts her struggle to accept her repressed sexuality throughout (also, I now know what a yaoi hole is, and that's invaluable information). The climax of the story was a wonderful mix of emotions, being at once funny, awkward, charming, cathartic, and heartbreaking.
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness felt like meeting a new friend who understands aspects of myself that I often struggle with, and many readers are sure to find it as therapeutic as I did. Kabi criticizes herself for being too scared to open her heart to people, but she totally opened herself to the world through her art, and that takes a lot of courage. I love how the existence of the manga itself acts as part of her journey in that way, and reflects on her growth. That meta aspect is really fresh and unique. I also found this book hugely encouraging as an artist. Again: Kabi’s art is disarmingly simple, yet she was able to produce a deeply moving, personal work. The comic was posted in a niche corner of the internet, and gradually gained a following until she landed a publishing deal. So what’s holding back other artists from putting themselves out there, even if it means risking humiliation and rejection? It’s better than going unfulfilled day after day. You don’t have to be a lonely lesbian to love My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. But bonus points if you are.