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A review by shereadytoread
Conversations with People Who Hate Me by Dylan Marron
3.5
I enjoyed this book, but I did feel like it lacked direction a bit. To be fair, the author himself recognizes uncertainty in writing the book and in the direction that his “social experiment” took. While I think the author’s cause is very noble and he was seeking to do (and in many ways did) a wonderful thing, the other struggles a bit to reckon with the potential and actual harm that some of his guests faced. He does own up to making poor decisions and is very reflective in the ways that he has at times perpetuated the same concepts that he is now fighting against. I wanted to see a bit more care given to the effects on the guests themselves and further work in preventing that same potential harm in the future.
Overall, I think this book has a lot of wonderful things to say and points to make about how we engage in community with those with whom we fundamentally disagree. As we live in an increasingly polarized world, it becomes impossible to fully avoid or cut off anyone that disagrees with us, even if they are actively harming us or other members of our community, they are still a part of that community. It asks a lot of questions about how we balance justice, safety and the need to move forward.
This author never claims to be a professional organizer, therapist or advocate, which is at times a strength and at times a weakness for the book. It approaches the concepts but doesn’t have the real language to fully explore them or offer many tangible paths forward on the larger questions; but it does offer some small approachable steps when dealing with strangers.
I received a free printed copy from the publisher. No review was required and all thoughts are my own.
Overall, I think this book has a lot of wonderful things to say and points to make about how we engage in community with those with whom we fundamentally disagree. As we live in an increasingly polarized world, it becomes impossible to fully avoid or cut off anyone that disagrees with us, even if they are actively harming us or other members of our community, they are still a part of that community. It asks a lot of questions about how we balance justice, safety and the need to move forward.
This author never claims to be a professional organizer, therapist or advocate, which is at times a strength and at times a weakness for the book. It approaches the concepts but doesn’t have the real language to fully explore them or offer many tangible paths forward on the larger questions; but it does offer some small approachable steps when dealing with strangers.
I received a free printed copy from the publisher. No review was required and all thoughts are my own.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Sexism, and Sexual assault
Minor: Violence