A review by apfelkistenbuch
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

“The goal of ace liberation is simply the goal of true sexual and romantic freedom for everyone.” (…) “It is a society that respects choice and highlights the pleasure that can be found elsewhere in our lives.”

A wonderful wonderful book. I usually have a hard time reading nonfiction, but Chen’s way of writing was both informative and entertaining; she discusses a wide variety of topics while also keeping it short and understandable. 

“Ace” not only touches on the “basics” of asexuality — What it means, how you arrive at accepting it, etc — but especially focuses on the diversity of the community that is often overlooked. 
The so-called “gold-star ace” does not exist, and how harmful that concept can be is shown when she tells the stories of asexual men, who are made believe that sexuality is an inherent part of their masculinity; people with disabilities, who are told the exact opposite; people of color, who have to face discrimination even in the community that should welcome them, etc.

This book inspires to re-think the norms that society has put on relationships, friendships and pleasure, through giving a voice to people defying them. 

It was comforting and validating, but also opened my eyes to how i myself still fall victim to those societal expectations. Knowing that there are already so many ace people out there shaping their lives in more creative ways than what is considered “normal” really inspired me to try to focus only on what brings me, personally, joy; not on what the people around me expect or hope for me to do in my life. 

ace or not, i really think everyone can learn from this book.