A review by evgeniya
The Summer Hikaru Died, Vol. 1 by Mokumokuren

dark emotional funny mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

"who i am as a person and my body are both borrowed... but my feelings for you are real."

wow. just wow. i am so normal about this (lying). it hurt my heart but in the best way possible, this is so my type of story. like, what if you lived in a small town and had an unrequited gay crush on your best friend who went up to the mountains one day for reasons you don't know and disappeared for a week, but then a creature stole his body and came back from the mountain like nothing happened, and you're the only one who can tell that it's not actually him even though it looks and sounds like him, has his memories, but the creature just wants to experience the simple joys of humanity and it follows you around because you're the only person who's ever been kind to it. and it probably kills people, you think so, at least. it's the coming back wrong and haunting the narrative type of story, being queer in a small town and internalized homophobia (very relatable, this is the real horror of the manga), the codependent homoerotic friendships you had when you were fifteen (also, very relatable), and what it means to be alive or dead and navigating a world you feel like you don't belong to, and grief, and mourning, and obsession, and love. what's not to like? and, the most important moment of them all. "after school, i'll show you my insides." me when. ME WHEN. who's showing me their insides? and maybe consuming me by the void inside of them completely?

but! if you don't want to be devastated, this is not for you. because this is just so full of grief, full of longing for what's lost and conflicting emotions for what's been gained. there hasn't been a day where yoshiki hasn't experienced soul shattering trauma, just warning you here. he's constantly scared and confused, and seems to be a huge overthinker (i can relate), he keeps bouncing back and forth between accepting this 'something' as hikaru, his best friend, and then beating himself up for doing so and thinking it's disgusting, that he is disgusting. he feels he's being selfish for even entertaining this whole thing. all the flashbacks we get when yoshiki gets reminded of the stuff that 'hakari' keeps mentioning from the past, when he wasn't even there to witness it all, but he just knows it now, that's when it hits you its hardest. i can only imagine how yoshiki feels when it happens. it fills me with dread, personally. and i can just feel this not ending well for either of them. i feel like one of them, at least, will die in the end. i can already see it in my head. and i can feel my heart break, because i'm way too attached to these characters already. it's been six chapters. 

last thing i want to mention, the art is absolutely fucking gorgeous. it's beyond beautiful. i spent so much time looking around all the pages, taking in all the details instead of moving on with the story. so damn good. 

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