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A review by travelseatsreads
Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Raw
Brutal
Unflinching
Haunting
Thought-provoking
Essential Reading
A book like this and it's effects are sometimes too powerful to put into words, let alone sentences. So many aspects of this book are worth mentioning and discussing that it's hard to mention some without all, but some of the theme's which I found were dealt with well and struck me especially hard are below.
• The phrase Not That Bad is looked at throughout the book. How, in some cases we need to minimise our trauma to exercise some level of control over the situation or indeed to to be able to begin to heal. In others, we need to emphasise the trauma in order to get help and to be able to escape from certain environments. What flows beautifully through the book is that in any case of any type of sexual trauma, IT WAS BAD ENOUGH.
• Another recurring theme which is so enduring to victims of sexual trauma is the concept of blame. This is looked at without holding back and many stories talked about the survivor feeling they hadn't done enough to fight back or to prevent it, had drawn it on themselves in some way or that they "let" their abuser continue. Again, this book tries to show that even though those feelings are all too real for survivors, the only people who should carry the blame is the abusers.
• The book also showed an area which is often neglected and that is that sexual trauma occurs across all gender spectrums or sexual orientations and effect all types of individuals. Stories from many members of the LGBTQ+ community were included and showed the horrible inclusivity of rape culture.
Every single story was powerful in it's own right but the ones that really caught me were those by Aubrey Hirsch, Jill Christman, xTx, Emma Smith-Stevens,Stacey May Fowles, Zoë Medeiros & Anthony Frame. I chose to listen to the audio in which the stories are voiced by their authors which of course added a multitude.
This is a book everyone needs to read when they feel they are able to. It's not a pleasant read in any way and is the definition of triggering for anyone with any history of sexual trauma but I also think it is in a way healing to hear some of these stories. Every person irrelevant or gender or orientation should read this and come more aware of just how horrific and invasive Rape Culture is.
Brutal
Unflinching
Haunting
Thought-provoking
Essential Reading
A book like this and it's effects are sometimes too powerful to put into words, let alone sentences. So many aspects of this book are worth mentioning and discussing that it's hard to mention some without all, but some of the theme's which I found were dealt with well and struck me especially hard are below.
• The phrase Not That Bad is looked at throughout the book. How, in some cases we need to minimise our trauma to exercise some level of control over the situation or indeed to to be able to begin to heal. In others, we need to emphasise the trauma in order to get help and to be able to escape from certain environments. What flows beautifully through the book is that in any case of any type of sexual trauma, IT WAS BAD ENOUGH.
• Another recurring theme which is so enduring to victims of sexual trauma is the concept of blame. This is looked at without holding back and many stories talked about the survivor feeling they hadn't done enough to fight back or to prevent it, had drawn it on themselves in some way or that they "let" their abuser continue. Again, this book tries to show that even though those feelings are all too real for survivors, the only people who should carry the blame is the abusers.
• The book also showed an area which is often neglected and that is that sexual trauma occurs across all gender spectrums or sexual orientations and effect all types of individuals. Stories from many members of the LGBTQ+ community were included and showed the horrible inclusivity of rape culture.
Every single story was powerful in it's own right but the ones that really caught me were those by Aubrey Hirsch, Jill Christman, xTx, Emma Smith-Stevens,Stacey May Fowles, Zoë Medeiros & Anthony Frame. I chose to listen to the audio in which the stories are voiced by their authors which of course added a multitude.
This is a book everyone needs to read when they feel they are able to. It's not a pleasant read in any way and is the definition of triggering for anyone with any history of sexual trauma but I also think it is in a way healing to hear some of these stories. Every person irrelevant or gender or orientation should read this and come more aware of just how horrific and invasive Rape Culture is.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Biphobia, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Incest, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, and Trafficking