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A review by maryehavens
Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska
4.0
It would be super-easy to vilify Bydlowska but you have to admit that she has extremely large cajones to strip herself bare and lay it all out. I kept screaming at her to give that baby to someone who wasn't blackout drunk because she was clearly incapable of taking care of an infant. I think she struggle with what most moms struggle with: enormous guilt in feeling that she was inadequate in taking care of her child. And she does admit she was inadequate and apologizes profusely to her son and her partner.
Also: let's take a minute to address the enormous pressure put upon moms. Why does giving birth mean you are suddenly put on this "gotta be perfect" pedestal?? I read something, somewhere (how's that for a source!? :) ) about spicing up the news by emphasizing "SHE IS/WAS A MOTHER" because you can't possibly think that a MOTHER could be the same person after having a child. It's the whole Madonna/whore complex but magnified to the nth degree. Moving on.....
What struck me, for the first time ever (and it's not my first addiction memoir) is the massive amount of lies she told to everyone including herself. Also: did her friends know she was an alcoholic? Because they certainly pushed it on her at this various parties, including her "going to rehab" party. Either they were stupid jerks or they were completely oblivious. With the amount of lying she did, I can see that but maybe they knew and didn't take it seriously? I've heard of addicts of all varieties having to completely change their friends and even family because they just didn't get it.
I'm always struck with how self-destructive addicts are. I've been watching a lot of My 600 lb Life lately and some of the addicts will get so close and then sabotage themselves. It's frustrating to watch someone think so little of themselves (and I say this as someone who has struggled with self-worth almost my entire life).
The writing is lyrical at times, which I liked but can come off pretentious too, and she writes in little bursts which makes it a quick read.
I hope Bydlowska has figured it out for her her son and partner's sake, but mostly for herself.
Also: let's take a minute to address the enormous pressure put upon moms. Why does giving birth mean you are suddenly put on this "gotta be perfect" pedestal?? I read something, somewhere (how's that for a source!? :) ) about spicing up the news by emphasizing "SHE IS/WAS A MOTHER" because you can't possibly think that a MOTHER could be the same person after having a child. It's the whole Madonna/whore complex but magnified to the nth degree. Moving on.....
What struck me, for the first time ever (and it's not my first addiction memoir) is the massive amount of lies she told to everyone including herself. Also: did her friends know she was an alcoholic? Because they certainly pushed it on her at this various parties, including her "going to rehab" party. Either they were stupid jerks or they were completely oblivious. With the amount of lying she did, I can see that but maybe they knew and didn't take it seriously? I've heard of addicts of all varieties having to completely change their friends and even family because they just didn't get it.
I'm always struck with how self-destructive addicts are. I've been watching a lot of My 600 lb Life lately and some of the addicts will get so close and then sabotage themselves. It's frustrating to watch someone think so little of themselves (and I say this as someone who has struggled with self-worth almost my entire life).
The writing is lyrical at times, which I liked but can come off pretentious too, and she writes in little bursts which makes it a quick read.
I hope Bydlowska has figured it out for her her son and partner's sake, but mostly for herself.