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A review by pwbalto
The Almost Girl by Amalie Howard
1.0
NOT RECOMMENDED. It’s just so sloppily written - verb tenses in particular switch all over the place, from present to past and back again within sentences. Heavy reliance on past perfect contractions - I’d remembered and he’d fought and it’d been surprising. So awkward and difficult to sort those sentences out to figure out what exactly went on and in what order.
Sloppy contradictions:
“His voice is dead, just like the rest of him, but he understands exactly who she is. He’s half-alive, but still far from a mindless drone.”
Is he all dead, or half-alive? That’s on page 8.
Poor research:
“The bike lurches forward and careens across the two opposite lanes, my thighs burning from gripping the sides of the tank to steady it.”
The bike in question is a Ducati motorcycle, and you do not steady a motorcycle by gripping the gas tank with your thighs. On a Ducati you’d have to be sitting with your knees around your chin to even try.
Also the main character’s love interest is named Cale, and that just seems like a silly oversight, given the popularity of kale on menus and in supermarkets right now.
Sloppy contradictions:
“His voice is dead, just like the rest of him, but he understands exactly who she is. He’s half-alive, but still far from a mindless drone.”
Is he all dead, or half-alive? That’s on page 8.
Poor research:
“The bike lurches forward and careens across the two opposite lanes, my thighs burning from gripping the sides of the tank to steady it.”
The bike in question is a Ducati motorcycle, and you do not steady a motorcycle by gripping the gas tank with your thighs. On a Ducati you’d have to be sitting with your knees around your chin to even try.
Also the main character’s love interest is named Cale, and that just seems like a silly oversight, given the popularity of kale on menus and in supermarkets right now.