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A review by bklassen
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Holy cow, you guys. Another dysfunctional memoir on the books (I LOVED Educated by Tara Westover), and this one is no less… juicy? Heartbreaking? Frustrating? All of the above?
Although these memoirs a bit triggering, they’re still important to read, not to mention entertaining.
Poor Jennette had to endure years of living under the yoke of a narcissistic, manipulative, overbearing, and abusive mother, and my heart broke for her over and over. I haven’t disliked a person like this in quite a while.
Although it’s tempting to tell this story through her adult eyes that have come to terms with her mother’s actions and abuse, she instead tells it in present tense through the eyes and mind of herself at that age, which gives a great sense of storytelling and ability to recognize just how different it is at younger ages to determine what is right or wrong, what feels comfortable, and just what is acceptable for adults to do. You get to experience those moments with her and better understand the highly complicated relationship with her mother.
Everything Jennette mentions in terms of an abusive narcissist is spot on – the constant monitoring of emotions so that you can hopefully react and prevent sadness or anger, the mood changes on a dime, the refusal of boundaries, the blatant emotional manipulation, and in Jenette’s case, the eventual teaching of an eating disorder and control over Jenette’s career and life.
I see disagreement online about Jennette’s bitterness and sullenness in her later life, that as an actress with lots of money, it’s almost as if she shouldn’t be allowed to be that way. Sure, we should be polite to other people and not put our personal problems on them. However, as someone who wasn’t allowed to feel frustrated or angry or sad and ended up pushing those emotions down for years, those emotions will come back in full force and I completely understand Jennette’s general emotional state and view of the world. How could someone under complete control of a narcissist be able to express herself healthily and properly balance or even understand what she’s feeling.
I listened to the audiobook, and I cannot recommend enough, even if she speaks at a rapid pace. You get a feel for who Jennette is and she adds voices for her grandma and mother, which gives you even more information about them. Be warned – you will be extraordinarily angry at her mother for about 75% of the book, if not all of it, and there might be some triggering if you have or had an eating disorder or suffered abuse in your childhood.
Another note is that I personally didn’t find the book very funny, but I did find it to be honest, sincere, and well told. I would love to see more about her therapy and her growth as a person, but you can get that fix from “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb.
Although these memoirs a bit triggering, they’re still important to read, not to mention entertaining.
Poor Jennette had to endure years of living under the yoke of a narcissistic, manipulative, overbearing, and abusive mother, and my heart broke for her over and over. I haven’t disliked a person like this in quite a while.
Although it’s tempting to tell this story through her adult eyes that have come to terms with her mother’s actions and abuse, she instead tells it in present tense through the eyes and mind of herself at that age, which gives a great sense of storytelling and ability to recognize just how different it is at younger ages to determine what is right or wrong, what feels comfortable, and just what is acceptable for adults to do. You get to experience those moments with her and better understand the highly complicated relationship with her mother.
Everything Jennette mentions in terms of an abusive narcissist is spot on – the constant monitoring of emotions so that you can hopefully react and prevent sadness or anger, the mood changes on a dime, the refusal of boundaries, the blatant emotional manipulation, and in Jenette’s case, the eventual teaching of an eating disorder and control over Jenette’s career and life.
I see disagreement online about Jennette’s bitterness and sullenness in her later life, that as an actress with lots of money, it’s almost as if she shouldn’t be allowed to be that way. Sure, we should be polite to other people and not put our personal problems on them. However, as someone who wasn’t allowed to feel frustrated or angry or sad and ended up pushing those emotions down for years, those emotions will come back in full force and I completely understand Jennette’s general emotional state and view of the world. How could someone under complete control of a narcissist be able to express herself healthily and properly balance or even understand what she’s feeling.
I listened to the audiobook, and I cannot recommend enough, even if she speaks at a rapid pace. You get a feel for who Jennette is and she adds voices for her grandma and mother, which gives you even more information about them. Be warned – you will be extraordinarily angry at her mother for about 75% of the book, if not all of it, and there might be some triggering if you have or had an eating disorder or suffered abuse in your childhood.
Another note is that I personally didn’t find the book very funny, but I did find it to be honest, sincere, and well told. I would love to see more about her therapy and her growth as a person, but you can get that fix from “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb.