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A review by _chelseachelsea
They All Fall Down by Roxanne St. Claire
adventurous
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
1.0
An incredibly ridiculous story that only a 7th grader could buy into. They All Fall Down starts with an intriguing premise and then proceeds to deliver on exactly none of its “thrills.” Anyone who claims it’s “like Final Destination meets Gossip Girl!” is lying to you. LYING.
Read on for specifics about why I nearly quit this book 4-5 times, but here’s the short version: nothing about the plot of this story is believable, and it’s not even unbelievable in a fun way. Don’t waste your time - just read The Cheerleaders instead.
The idea of an exclusive, mysterious clique of girls chosen by a secret process every year is interesting, to be sure. But our protagonist, Kenzie, is so busy being smarter than the rest of the sisters of the list that they’re barely characters, and merely cannon fodder for what is obviously not a series of accidents - accidents we only get to hear about in brief conversations.
The deaths could have at least been interesting if we’d been privy to them (maybe a third person omniscient narrator would have been a better choice than Kenzie’s stream of consciousness?) but instead we are doomed, much like the list, to suffer and die.
Kenzie spends at least 75% of her time thinking about Latin or describing the jawline of her love interest (who has a story MUCH more interesting than hers). The rest of the time is spent internally b*tching about how stupid the other girls are or thinking about her brother who, poor guy, gets the lamest death mystery ever.
And good god - the LATIN. No teenage girl thinks about Latin this much. No teenage girl thinks in Latin and in NO world does that language come up in conversation this frequently.
And as the final “mystery” “unravels” (read: explains itself to you in both English AND Latin) you’ll be rolling your eyes, not gasping. The Big Climax™ is crammed into about 20 pages that make very little sense.
How did the assassins orchestrate a girl’s HAIR being caught in the bathtub drain?
How did the girls who got stuck on the train tracks have their car stall out at exactly that moment?
How were the assassins always exactly where they needed to be even when their targets were stepping outside their usual routines?
Why were some of the women killed YEARS after they’d graduated?
What did the nurse have to do with anything?
What pill is capable of mimicking the effects of alcohol poisoning??
How did the assassins always know that the girls had told someone about the “curse”?
Why didn’t Conner go to the police after Jarvis tried to recruit him into his secret murder club?
WHY DIDN’T THE GIRLS LOCK THEMSELVES IN POLICE CUSTODY FOR PROTECTION?
They All Fall Down feels like St. Clair started with the list concept and had no idea where it was going, so the ending reads like it was taken from another book. A terrible book.
Read on for specifics about why I nearly quit this book 4-5 times, but here’s the short version: nothing about the plot of this story is believable, and it’s not even unbelievable in a fun way. Don’t waste your time - just read The Cheerleaders instead.
The idea of an exclusive, mysterious clique of girls chosen by a secret process every year is interesting, to be sure. But our protagonist, Kenzie, is so busy being smarter than the rest of the sisters of the list that they’re barely characters, and merely cannon fodder for what is obviously not a series of accidents - accidents we only get to hear about in brief conversations.
The deaths could have at least been interesting if we’d been privy to them (maybe a third person omniscient narrator would have been a better choice than Kenzie’s stream of consciousness?) but instead we are doomed, much like the list, to suffer and die.
Kenzie spends at least 75% of her time thinking about Latin or describing the jawline of her love interest (who has a story MUCH more interesting than hers). The rest of the time is spent internally b*tching about how stupid the other girls are or thinking about her brother who, poor guy, gets the lamest death mystery ever.
And good god - the LATIN. No teenage girl thinks about Latin this much. No teenage girl thinks in Latin and in NO world does that language come up in conversation this frequently.
And as the final “mystery” “unravels” (read: explains itself to you in both English AND Latin) you’ll be rolling your eyes, not gasping. The Big Climax™ is crammed into about 20 pages that make very little sense.
How did the assassins orchestrate a girl’s HAIR being caught in the bathtub drain?
How did the girls who got stuck on the train tracks have their car stall out at exactly that moment?
How were the assassins always exactly where they needed to be even when their targets were stepping outside their usual routines?
Why were some of the women killed YEARS after they’d graduated?
What did the nurse have to do with anything?
What pill is capable of mimicking the effects of alcohol poisoning??
How did the assassins always know that the girls had told someone about the “curse”?
Why didn’t Conner go to the police after Jarvis tried to recruit him into his secret murder club?
WHY DIDN’T THE GIRLS LOCK THEMSELVES IN POLICE CUSTODY FOR PROTECTION?
They All Fall Down feels like St. Clair started with the list concept and had no idea where it was going, so the ending reads like it was taken from another book. A terrible book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Kidnapping and Car accident
Moderate: Child death and Murder