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A review by shimauchiha
Knights of Dark Renown by David Gemmell
I used to read this book over and over again devotedly when I was in middle school, and I cried for hours every single time.
I'd loved fantasy series before finding this book. I loved [b:The Old Kingdom Collection: Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen, Clariel|23277163|The Old Kingdom Collection Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen, Clariel (Abhorsen 1-4)|Garth Nix|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1440552625l/23277163._SY75_.jpg|75767941] and [b:His Dark Materials|18116|His Dark Materials (His Dark Materials #1-3)|Philip Pullman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1442329494l/18116._SY75_.jpg|1943518], Harry Potter and Narnia. But this book alongside [b:Echoes of the Great Song|568094|Echoes of the Great Song|David Gemmell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1320421248l/568094._SY75_.jpg|1309195] were probably the first books that truly showed me what fantasy could be.
How it could rip out your heart, and show it to you. How it could be nothing like the real world, but true regardless. These books showed me that fantasy could be about adults. That it could have sex and violence. That a world could be contained in a single book.
Gemmell was the first author that I loved, long before I discovered the likes of [a:Brandon Sanderson|38550|Brandon Sanderson|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1394044556p2/38550.jpg], [a:N K Jemison|19505337|N K Jemison|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and [a:Robin Hobb|25307|Robin Hobb|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1397885202p2/25307.jpg]. I devoured his books until I found out that he'd passed away. After that, knowing their numbers were finite, I started savouring them. He was the who I wanted to be when I grew up.
Here's the thing. Rereading childhood favourites is a double-edged sword. It can be warm and comforting like meeting an old friend, it can be surprising like realising your parents are actual adults, or, it can be...kind of heartbreaking, like growing up.
This was the first time I ever read this book that it didn't make me cry. It was the first time that I wondered if parts of it were rushed. The first time when some of the relationships felt less than convincing.
It wasn't, I don't think, the first time that how the female characters were treated bothered me. Even if I didn't fully realise it back then. I knew I wanted something to be different in this book, but It felt so undefinable and out of reach that I couldn't quite grasp what it was.
Even when I wondered about the fact that seven of the knights were male and the one female was overly sexualised and the only one expelled from knighthood , if I was troubled by the casual rapes, and the switching of one sister with another, and how many male characters commented on Aryan's swaying hips, and how there wasn't a single woman in the book who wasn't a love interest to someone, I didn't dwell on it, because I didn't think I would get anything better. I was happy enough to have Aryan shoot an arrow and Sheena know how to throw a punch.
I'm not a middle schooler who can just ignore those things anymore, and I don't want to be. But looking at a book you've loved and admitting how horribly sexist it is, is kind of like realising your grandma is racist. You can't just stop loving them.
I've read many many incredible fantasy books since I first read this, but I can still see what I loved about this book. Gemmell's books have heart. They have the old-fashioned, 'there is good and evil in every person' kind of heart. They have the 'it's never too late to change' kind of heart. They have the seemingly evil characters capable of incredible sacrifices, they have the normal people showing great courage. They have all the things that you want to think humanity is.
But, they have all of those things for men.
I thought a long time about what to rate this book. I wanted to, I still kind of do, give it five stars, because of how much it has meant to me. I want to, so badly, convince myself that it's okay.
But I don't know that it is.
It makes me feel guilty to admit that I still love a sexist book. But then again, I tell myself, isn't the true power in taking this and deciding that I can choose to love it in spite of that? I don't know.
But I do know, that despite it all, I wouldn't take this book away from middle-school me if I went back in time. Who knew how much reading this book, and the ones like it, affected me. Maybe without them, I wouldn't realise what I didn't want in my books anymore. That this wasn't what I and women everywhere actually deserved to read.
Besides, regardless of all the complicated feelings, I might have now, I would never take away the heart-wrenching joy of crying and being absolutely devastated about this book in my childhood. They are some of my fondest reading memories.
I'd loved fantasy series before finding this book. I loved [b:The Old Kingdom Collection: Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen, Clariel|23277163|The Old Kingdom Collection Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen, Clariel (Abhorsen 1-4)|Garth Nix|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1440552625l/23277163._SY75_.jpg|75767941] and [b:His Dark Materials|18116|His Dark Materials (His Dark Materials #1-3)|Philip Pullman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1442329494l/18116._SY75_.jpg|1943518], Harry Potter and Narnia. But this book alongside [b:Echoes of the Great Song|568094|Echoes of the Great Song|David Gemmell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1320421248l/568094._SY75_.jpg|1309195] were probably the first books that truly showed me what fantasy could be.
How it could rip out your heart, and show it to you. How it could be nothing like the real world, but true regardless. These books showed me that fantasy could be about adults. That it could have sex and violence. That a world could be contained in a single book.
Gemmell was the first author that I loved, long before I discovered the likes of [a:Brandon Sanderson|38550|Brandon Sanderson|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1394044556p2/38550.jpg], [a:N K Jemison|19505337|N K Jemison|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and [a:Robin Hobb|25307|Robin Hobb|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1397885202p2/25307.jpg]. I devoured his books until I found out that he'd passed away. After that, knowing their numbers were finite, I started savouring them. He was the who I wanted to be when I grew up.
Here's the thing. Rereading childhood favourites is a double-edged sword. It can be warm and comforting like meeting an old friend, it can be surprising like realising your parents are actual adults, or, it can be...kind of heartbreaking, like growing up.
This was the first time I ever read this book that it didn't make me cry. It was the first time that I wondered if parts of it were rushed. The first time when some of the relationships felt less than convincing.
It wasn't, I don't think, the first time that how the female characters were treated bothered me. Even if I didn't fully realise it back then. I knew I wanted something to be different in this book, but It felt so undefinable and out of reach that I couldn't quite grasp what it was.
Even when I wondered about the fact that seven of the knights were male and the one female was overly sexualised
I'm not a middle schooler who can just ignore those things anymore, and I don't want to be. But looking at a book you've loved and admitting how horribly sexist it is, is kind of like realising your grandma is racist. You can't just stop loving them.
I've read many many incredible fantasy books since I first read this, but I can still see what I loved about this book. Gemmell's books have heart. They have the old-fashioned, 'there is good and evil in every person' kind of heart. They have the 'it's never too late to change' kind of heart. They have the seemingly evil characters capable of incredible sacrifices, they have the normal people showing great courage. They have all the things that you want to think humanity is.
But, they have all of those things for men.
I thought a long time about what to rate this book. I wanted to, I still kind of do, give it five stars, because of how much it has meant to me. I want to, so badly, convince myself that it's okay.
But I don't know that it is.
It makes me feel guilty to admit that I still love a sexist book. But then again, I tell myself, isn't the true power in taking this and deciding that I can choose to love it in spite of that? I don't know.
But I do know, that despite it all, I wouldn't take this book away from middle-school me if I went back in time. Who knew how much reading this book, and the ones like it, affected me. Maybe without them, I wouldn't realise what I didn't want in my books anymore. That this wasn't what I and women everywhere actually deserved to read.
Besides, regardless of all the complicated feelings, I might have now, I would never take away the heart-wrenching joy of crying and being absolutely devastated about this book in my childhood. They are some of my fondest reading memories.