A review by tsunanisaurus
Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy by Ophira Eisenberg
4.0
Note: I received this ARC for free in exchange for an honest review. It will be published on March 26, 2013 for you reading pleasure
Screw Everyone is, hands down, the funniest book I've read this year, I was chuckling before I was even 2 pages in. I was worried at first that this would be yet another "woe-is-me" self-deprecating story told by a successful, beautiful celebrity. Or a cliche tale of how life will only start being in control once you settled down and find the right man.
To my great pleasure, this was not the case at all. Ophira is the real-girl's Chelsea Handler. Her story felt honest, raw and uncomfortably familiar in many regards. A real girl, making real decisions that often left her feeling awkward or even more determined than before. This story wasn't coated with name-dropping or a wink-and-a-nudge about how she became successful thanks to the power of connections. It was coated with Lady Scout booty call badges, blind albino sex, intelligence, empowerment of women to not feel slut-shamed - mixed in with a bottle of Grey Goose, the story of a scar and a forever changed image of Garfield and Otis.
In the words of Eisenberg: "I had no idea how few steps there were between an ostrich feather and a butt plug"
Other favorite quotes:
"Good talk is like seduction"
"If we were going to role play, it would be Elizabethan-themed and involve iambic pentameter"
"There was no need to stop to take photos. A vacation with an STD in the back seat is a fast one
Screw Everyone is, hands down, the funniest book I've read this year, I was chuckling before I was even 2 pages in. I was worried at first that this would be yet another "woe-is-me" self-deprecating story told by a successful, beautiful celebrity. Or a cliche tale of how life will only start being in control once you settled down and find the right man.
To my great pleasure, this was not the case at all. Ophira is the real-girl's Chelsea Handler. Her story felt honest, raw and uncomfortably familiar in many regards. A real girl, making real decisions that often left her feeling awkward or even more determined than before. This story wasn't coated with name-dropping or a wink-and-a-nudge about how she became successful thanks to the power of connections. It was coated with Lady Scout booty call badges, blind albino sex, intelligence, empowerment of women to not feel slut-shamed - mixed in with a bottle of Grey Goose, the story of a scar and a forever changed image of Garfield and Otis.
In the words of Eisenberg: "I had no idea how few steps there were between an ostrich feather and a butt plug"
Other favorite quotes:
"Good talk is like seduction"
"If we were going to role play, it would be Elizabethan-themed and involve iambic pentameter"
"There was no need to stop to take photos. A vacation with an STD in the back seat is a fast one