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A review by desiree930
Perfection by Merphy Napier
2.0
2.5 stars
To anyone who is reading this, there are massive spoilers ahead. If you haven’t read this yet and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now.
Also, this is very long. I had a lot to get off my chest about this book, so you may want to grab a hot beverage and a snack.
This one is tough. I really enjoy Merphy’s booktube channel. She talks about books I don’t hear every other booktuber raving about, and her critiques are very thoughtful and thorough. I’ve picked up several books on her recommendation and enjoyed them.
I wanted to support her writing because I think that it’s important to support self and indie-published authors and creators.
Also, the concept of this book was intriguing to me. I love dystopians. I don’t care if people are burnt out by them. I am still a sucker for a good dystopian.
Unfortunately, Perfection just didn’t quite work for me.
What I liked:
1. The concept. A walled-off country is supposedly the last civilization left after everyone else has died. There are two types of people in this society: Perfects, who are beautiful, agreeable, docile, and well-liked; and Non-Perfects, who are none of those things. Ashton, a young Non-Perfect of 18, is approached by two young men and told that there is a whole group of people living outside the walls. They are called the Keuse, and they’ve made it their mission to Warn (the capitalization is hers, not mine) people when they turn 18 that their government has been lying to them their entire lives. The Perfects are genetically engineered from the DNA of nearly-dead people, and all of the babies coming into Perfection are Keuse-born children who have been kidnapped.
That’s the short version. I wasn’t completely blown away by the idea, but I felt like it had a little potential. It actually reminded me of Westworld in a very small way. The Perfects are human, unlike the Hosts in Westwood, but they are designed for the specific purpose of pleasing the Non-Perfects. I was intrigued.
2. The twist near the end was pretty good. I didn’t find it mind-blowing when I realized what they were doing with the grown Keuse they were snatching, but I thought it was an interesting twist to the story. I actually thought the story had decent momentum at the end that made me want to pick up the next book to see what happens next.
3. Characterization for many of the characters. It was obvious to me that the author spent a lot of time on her characters. And I think that was one of the stronger aspects of this book. Some of the dialogue was actually pretty fun, and I was interested in their backstories.
4. The Keuse. I really liked learning about this group and their customs. I wish we’d seen more.
What I didn’t like:
1. Grammatical/spelling errors. Listen, I’m not trying to be a grammar nazi, okay? I’m really not. I’m trying to take into account that this was a debut novel that was probably either self or indie published and didn’t have a lot of intense editing. But wow. There were a lot of typos and mistakes in here, to the point that it took me out of the story, even when I was enjoying it.
The following are a few examples:
A. She refers to her parents as mom and dad. Without capitalization. When you are using Mom and Dad in place of their actual names, it’s a proper noun, and should be capitalized.
B. She uses the word ‘that’ when she should use the word ‘who’ (ex. Page 325 of kindle edition): To my left was the bushy haired girl that liked to read...
C. She leaves out hyphens that should be used in descriptions (See above. ‘Bushy haired’ should be ‘bushy-haired’. It’s done over and over again.
D. Misspellings. This includes the use of incorrect homonyms in some cases.
Page 12: peaked instead of peeked
Page 27: ally instead of alley
Page 92 and 405: programed instead of programmed
Page 123 and 375: heals instead of heels
Page 153: permanente instead of permanent
Page 158 and 308: awe instead of aw or aww
Page 172: complement instead of compliment
Page 189: A instead of I
Page 203: payed instead of paid
Page 313: ahold instead of ‘a hold’ or just ‘hold’
Page 315: Cicilia instead of Cecilia (it was spelled Cecilia earlier in the book)
Page 403: leaver instead of lever
Yes, I know this is nitpicky and some people will probably think I’m being petty. But it really affected my ability to immerse myself into the story.
2. Ashton. I know we are supposed to be rooting for this main character, but she was insufferable to me. She was selfish, petty, and stubborn to the point that she blinded herself to very obvious truths.
I feel like I could write a book on all the things I disliked about this character.
She overhears her father ordering his minions to go and attack the Keuse, and spends the next couple hundred pages denying that her father could possibly be a bad guy:
Page 231
Ashton: The Keuse think they’re killing them
Declan: And you don’t?
Ashton: I-I don’t know. The Titan are doing a lot of things to hold onto their control here but murder? I’m not sure.
Ummmm...yes you are, Ashton! You heard your father, with your own stupid ears, order the murder of the Keuse. This is not the only instance where she is basically in denial of her father’s murderous nature.
It was so aggravating, because she would learn something, then spend the next several pages, of not chapters, denying or rationalizing it away.
She did the same thing with her Perfect boyfriend, David. She knew from the time she met the Keuse that David, like all Perfects, was genetically engineered to be docile and agreeable. Then she finds out that each Perfect is specifically designed for one Non-Perfect. But she still continues their relationship, even after she begins to have feelings for Kaleb. Even after she tells Kaleb she is going to break it off with David, she gets sucked into David’s obsequious nature and agrees to marry him. It’s totally bizarre. At first I wondered if maybe in the genetic engineering process they play around with pheromones or something to make the Non-Perfects fall for the Perfects, because the second she would get away from David she barely thought about him. But no...that wasn’t it. She was just wishy-washy as heck.
She was also incredibly rash. This, mixed with her stubbornness and relative stupidity, made her do things that got other people hurt and killed. Simple as that. Every single time someone told her not to do something, she did it anyway, and it almost always blew up in her face. Meanwhile, people are fawning all over her like she single-handedly saved their people. Her actions cost several people their lives. She has absolutely terrible judgment.
Also, the whole klutzy thing was so overdone. I hate that cliche in the first place, and this bordered on obnoxious. She trips and falls and stubs her toe and all of this garbage, but by the end we’re supposed to believe she’s the best fighter they have from Perfection. Ooookaaaaay...
As far as the romance goes, I liked Kaleb and he deserves better than Ashton. I honestly don’t really understand what he sees in her.
3. Plot holes/contrivances/questions
I had a lot of questions as I was reading this book. Very few were answered in a satisfactory manner.
-If the Perfects are ‘the Perfect Race’ and they don’t want them breeding with the Non-Perfects because the result would be less than perfection, why the heck were they also making Non-Perfects in the first place? Why weren’t they just making everybody Perfects? I don’t understand that at all.
-Why are the Non-Perfects so antagonistic toward one another? I suppose this could just be Ashton’s character, although it is mentioned in the book that Non-Perfects don’t usually hang out with other Non-Perfects. But then when Ashton goes to the Keuse she doesn’t seem to have any problem getting along with them.
-Why do the Keuse wait until the NPs (got tired of typing Non-Perfect.) turn 18 before approaching them? Wouldn’t it be smarter to go grab them when they are younger and potentially less brainwashed?
-Also, how would they possibly know when each NP is turning 18?
-In that same vein, why don’t they break in and take back their babies?! They seem to have no trouble breaking in at other times, and I would not just let my child be kidnapped without raising hell.
-Why and how was Ashton allowed to wander all over the Kwaad facility with no one knowing? They don’t have cameras? I find that very hard to believe. This is a technologically-advanced, super-oppressive regime that dictates its citizens actions, to the point that they make their partners for them in a lab. But they don’t have cameras in their government facilities?
-There is, conveniently, a room full of files for each person in Perfection. They aren’t stored somewhere safe, like in a computer, but just laying around a random room. Again, this is supposed to be a high-tech futuristic society. But they can’t even get a couple big file cabinets?
-At the beginning of the book, Ashton tears up her arm in a way that is described as ‘raw and bloody.’ Afterwards she goes home and falls asleep without as much as a towel wrapped around it. The next morning she says she forgot about it. Huh?!
-Why did they need to kill people to use their DNA to make new NPs? Why couldn’t they just use artificial insemination?
-Why create the brother character just to forget about him after chapter five. His name is only mentioned in the book 15 times and only once after chapter 5. When it was mentioned, I’d completely forgotten who he was and had to search for his name in the kindle. I feel like there was more to that than we got to see, because it’s mentioned that he and Ashton have similar features. Maybe he and she are actually genetically related? I don’t know. Either way, to introduce his character and then never think about his again was weird.
-Why on Earth would the Keuse stay in a place that was within reach of the Tiran? I simply do not understand. It makes no sense whatsoever. Unless the world really is desolate, and somehow this is the only bit of habitable land left...but I don’t know if I’m buying that. Why would they not pack up and move away from Perfection? Yes, they had their children kidnapped. But they weren’t actually doing anything to stop that or try to get them back, so why stay? Why not get far away? I just don’t understand.
-Why did no one comment when people went missing? And if the NPs didn’t know that the Perfects were genetically engineered, how did they think the Perfects came to be?
4. Setting/world building. I just feel like this wasn’t enough of a focus. We were kind of thrown into this world with very little foundation. Is this supposed to be a futuristic United States? Everyone speaks English, so I’m assuming it’s either the US, the UK, or Ireland. Now, there is a character that speaks with a strong accent that I’m assuming is supposed to be Scottish. But no one else in this book has a discernible accent. Which to me is another plot hole. If this is supposed to be several generations removed from the beginning of Perfection, where did this man’s accent come from?
I wish there had been some clarity on this. In one of those repetitive scenes where Ashton wandered around a super-secret facility couldn’t she have found a room that had some old texts or something. I still don’t feel like I really understand the backstory of this civilization.
I feel awful that I had so many issues with this book because the author seems like such a wonderful and genuine person. I will most likely pick up the second book because I am legitimately curious to see not only the end of the story, but also her growth as an writer. I’m also hoping that some of the questions I have will be answered in the second book. Unfortunately, this one didn’t quite hit the mark for me.
To anyone who is reading this, there are massive spoilers ahead. If you haven’t read this yet and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now.
Also, this is very long. I had a lot to get off my chest about this book, so you may want to grab a hot beverage and a snack.
This one is tough. I really enjoy Merphy’s booktube channel. She talks about books I don’t hear every other booktuber raving about, and her critiques are very thoughtful and thorough. I’ve picked up several books on her recommendation and enjoyed them.
I wanted to support her writing because I think that it’s important to support self and indie-published authors and creators.
Also, the concept of this book was intriguing to me. I love dystopians. I don’t care if people are burnt out by them. I am still a sucker for a good dystopian.
Unfortunately, Perfection just didn’t quite work for me.
What I liked:
1. The concept. A walled-off country is supposedly the last civilization left after everyone else has died. There are two types of people in this society: Perfects, who are beautiful, agreeable, docile, and well-liked; and Non-Perfects, who are none of those things. Ashton, a young Non-Perfect of 18, is approached by two young men and told that there is a whole group of people living outside the walls. They are called the Keuse, and they’ve made it their mission to Warn (the capitalization is hers, not mine) people when they turn 18 that their government has been lying to them their entire lives. The Perfects are genetically engineered from the DNA of nearly-dead people, and all of the babies coming into Perfection are Keuse-born children who have been kidnapped.
That’s the short version. I wasn’t completely blown away by the idea, but I felt like it had a little potential. It actually reminded me of Westworld in a very small way. The Perfects are human, unlike the Hosts in Westwood, but they are designed for the specific purpose of pleasing the Non-Perfects. I was intrigued.
2. The twist near the end was pretty good. I didn’t find it mind-blowing when I realized what they were doing with the grown Keuse they were snatching, but I thought it was an interesting twist to the story. I actually thought the story had decent momentum at the end that made me want to pick up the next book to see what happens next.
3. Characterization for many of the characters. It was obvious to me that the author spent a lot of time on her characters. And I think that was one of the stronger aspects of this book. Some of the dialogue was actually pretty fun, and I was interested in their backstories.
4. The Keuse. I really liked learning about this group and their customs. I wish we’d seen more.
What I didn’t like:
1. Grammatical/spelling errors. Listen, I’m not trying to be a grammar nazi, okay? I’m really not. I’m trying to take into account that this was a debut novel that was probably either self or indie published and didn’t have a lot of intense editing. But wow. There were a lot of typos and mistakes in here, to the point that it took me out of the story, even when I was enjoying it.
The following are a few examples:
A. She refers to her parents as mom and dad. Without capitalization. When you are using Mom and Dad in place of their actual names, it’s a proper noun, and should be capitalized.
B. She uses the word ‘that’ when she should use the word ‘who’ (ex. Page 325 of kindle edition): To my left was the bushy haired girl that liked to read...
C. She leaves out hyphens that should be used in descriptions (See above. ‘Bushy haired’ should be ‘bushy-haired’. It’s done over and over again.
D. Misspellings. This includes the use of incorrect homonyms in some cases.
Page 12: peaked instead of peeked
Page 27: ally instead of alley
Page 92 and 405: programed instead of programmed
Page 123 and 375: heals instead of heels
Page 153: permanente instead of permanent
Page 158 and 308: awe instead of aw or aww
Page 172: complement instead of compliment
Page 189: A instead of I
Page 203: payed instead of paid
Page 313: ahold instead of ‘a hold’ or just ‘hold’
Page 315: Cicilia instead of Cecilia (it was spelled Cecilia earlier in the book)
Page 403: leaver instead of lever
Yes, I know this is nitpicky and some people will probably think I’m being petty. But it really affected my ability to immerse myself into the story.
2. Ashton. I know we are supposed to be rooting for this main character, but she was insufferable to me. She was selfish, petty, and stubborn to the point that she blinded herself to very obvious truths.
I feel like I could write a book on all the things I disliked about this character.
She overhears her father ordering his minions to go and attack the Keuse, and spends the next couple hundred pages denying that her father could possibly be a bad guy:
Page 231
Ashton: The Keuse think they’re killing them
Declan: And you don’t?
Ashton: I-I don’t know. The Titan are doing a lot of things to hold onto their control here but murder? I’m not sure.
Ummmm...yes you are, Ashton! You heard your father, with your own stupid ears, order the murder of the Keuse. This is not the only instance where she is basically in denial of her father’s murderous nature.
It was so aggravating, because she would learn something, then spend the next several pages, of not chapters, denying or rationalizing it away.
She did the same thing with her Perfect boyfriend, David. She knew from the time she met the Keuse that David, like all Perfects, was genetically engineered to be docile and agreeable. Then she finds out that each Perfect is specifically designed for one Non-Perfect. But she still continues their relationship, even after she begins to have feelings for Kaleb. Even after she tells Kaleb she is going to break it off with David, she gets sucked into David’s obsequious nature and agrees to marry him. It’s totally bizarre. At first I wondered if maybe in the genetic engineering process they play around with pheromones or something to make the Non-Perfects fall for the Perfects, because the second she would get away from David she barely thought about him. But no...that wasn’t it. She was just wishy-washy as heck.
She was also incredibly rash. This, mixed with her stubbornness and relative stupidity, made her do things that got other people hurt and killed. Simple as that. Every single time someone told her not to do something, she did it anyway, and it almost always blew up in her face. Meanwhile, people are fawning all over her like she single-handedly saved their people. Her actions cost several people their lives. She has absolutely terrible judgment.
Also, the whole klutzy thing was so overdone. I hate that cliche in the first place, and this bordered on obnoxious. She trips and falls and stubs her toe and all of this garbage, but by the end we’re supposed to believe she’s the best fighter they have from Perfection. Ooookaaaaay...
As far as the romance goes, I liked Kaleb and he deserves better than Ashton. I honestly don’t really understand what he sees in her.
3. Plot holes/contrivances/questions
I had a lot of questions as I was reading this book. Very few were answered in a satisfactory manner.
-If the Perfects are ‘the Perfect Race’ and they don’t want them breeding with the Non-Perfects because the result would be less than perfection, why the heck were they also making Non-Perfects in the first place? Why weren’t they just making everybody Perfects? I don’t understand that at all.
-Why are the Non-Perfects so antagonistic toward one another? I suppose this could just be Ashton’s character, although it is mentioned in the book that Non-Perfects don’t usually hang out with other Non-Perfects. But then when Ashton goes to the Keuse she doesn’t seem to have any problem getting along with them.
-Why do the Keuse wait until the NPs (got tired of typing Non-Perfect.) turn 18 before approaching them? Wouldn’t it be smarter to go grab them when they are younger and potentially less brainwashed?
-Also, how would they possibly know when each NP is turning 18?
-In that same vein, why don’t they break in and take back their babies?! They seem to have no trouble breaking in at other times, and I would not just let my child be kidnapped without raising hell.
-Why and how was Ashton allowed to wander all over the Kwaad facility with no one knowing? They don’t have cameras? I find that very hard to believe. This is a technologically-advanced, super-oppressive regime that dictates its citizens actions, to the point that they make their partners for them in a lab. But they don’t have cameras in their government facilities?
-There is, conveniently, a room full of files for each person in Perfection. They aren’t stored somewhere safe, like in a computer, but just laying around a random room. Again, this is supposed to be a high-tech futuristic society. But they can’t even get a couple big file cabinets?
-At the beginning of the book, Ashton tears up her arm in a way that is described as ‘raw and bloody.’ Afterwards she goes home and falls asleep without as much as a towel wrapped around it. The next morning she says she forgot about it. Huh?!
-Why did they need to kill people to use their DNA to make new NPs? Why couldn’t they just use artificial insemination?
-Why create the brother character just to forget about him after chapter five. His name is only mentioned in the book 15 times and only once after chapter 5. When it was mentioned, I’d completely forgotten who he was and had to search for his name in the kindle. I feel like there was more to that than we got to see, because it’s mentioned that he and Ashton have similar features. Maybe he and she are actually genetically related? I don’t know. Either way, to introduce his character and then never think about his again was weird.
-Why on Earth would the Keuse stay in a place that was within reach of the Tiran? I simply do not understand. It makes no sense whatsoever. Unless the world really is desolate, and somehow this is the only bit of habitable land left...but I don’t know if I’m buying that. Why would they not pack up and move away from Perfection? Yes, they had their children kidnapped. But they weren’t actually doing anything to stop that or try to get them back, so why stay? Why not get far away? I just don’t understand.
-Why did no one comment when people went missing? And if the NPs didn’t know that the Perfects were genetically engineered, how did they think the Perfects came to be?
4. Setting/world building. I just feel like this wasn’t enough of a focus. We were kind of thrown into this world with very little foundation. Is this supposed to be a futuristic United States? Everyone speaks English, so I’m assuming it’s either the US, the UK, or Ireland. Now, there is a character that speaks with a strong accent that I’m assuming is supposed to be Scottish. But no one else in this book has a discernible accent. Which to me is another plot hole. If this is supposed to be several generations removed from the beginning of Perfection, where did this man’s accent come from?
I wish there had been some clarity on this. In one of those repetitive scenes where Ashton wandered around a super-secret facility couldn’t she have found a room that had some old texts or something. I still don’t feel like I really understand the backstory of this civilization.
I feel awful that I had so many issues with this book because the author seems like such a wonderful and genuine person. I will most likely pick up the second book because I am legitimately curious to see not only the end of the story, but also her growth as an writer. I’m also hoping that some of the questions I have will be answered in the second book. Unfortunately, this one didn’t quite hit the mark for me.