A review by kristennd
The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage by Cathi Hanauer

4.0

This felt more negative than the men's version. Interestingly, although these writers were also more angry than their husbands, they were also accepting more blame for their situations. Like Pamela Stone's [Book:Opting Out?], this collection made me kinda glad I'm not a Type-A and thus have no grand ambitions to worry about giving up. Because they always have to give them up. At the same time, there seemed to be a thread of unrealistic expectations. Most of the writers grew up with mothers who did all the housework. So no wonder that they're frustrated at doing it now. They don't want to do any housework, shared or otherwise. As someone with a long list of childhood chores, that made me less than sympathetic. Living together didn't come out looking like a great option, surprisingly. There was one piece explaining why the author and her partner will never marry, which was interesting and entertaining but I never figured out her reason. A few observations I particularly liked: Kate Christensen: "Like most of the girls I knew when I was growing up, I'd always assumed I'd marry the perfect man. But for me, the man himself wasn't an important element in my fantasies of the future; he existed in my imagination as a flawless but shadowy alter ego, a male version of myself who would read my mind, meet all my needs, and have none of his own." Cynthia Kling (on relationship advice from well-meaning friends): "Women complain that men boss them around and tell them what to do, but what about all that female coercion? The oppressive solidarity of the smart-girl set?" Ellen Gilchrist: "I think older women probably make better mothers in many ways. But young women are more selfish and you have to be selfish to demand time for yourself when you have children. Young women are closer to the time when they were manipulative and childish and they don't let their babies manipulate them as much as older mothers do. These are only my conclusions from watching children in grocery stores."