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A review by stellagramina
The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen
I recently had the opportunity to read an Advance Reader's Copy (ARC) of "The Other Significant Others" on NetGalley in return for an honest review. Rhaina Cohen explores a thought-provoking and unique perspective through her own label-defying friendship with "Em" (a pseudonym). This friendship serves as the jumping-off point for a broader discussion about profound human connections, particularly the intricacies of deep friendships: friendship roles, sexism and the damage it does to male friendship, the difference between romantic and platonic love, legal battles, grief, and more.
The book blends personal anecdotes collected from interviews with individuals in unconventional friendships that are often social if not legal partnerships, a historical context that traces the evolution of friendship and romantic relationships over time, and a look at the legal and societal aspects that have historically surrounded friendships.
In "The Other Significant Others," Rhaina Cohen presents a compelling case for the increased recognition of the role of friendship in our lives. The book offers a well-researched and thought-provoking exploration of the topic.
As I read, I appreciated the insights I gained about the various facets of human connections. Rhaina Cohen's personal experiences and journalistic background undoubtedly contribute to the book's well-researched content and the depth of her narrative. I also appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable. I particularly related to the discussion of feeling a kind of grief at her intense friendship with Em morphing into something less vibrant with the passage of time. I also learned a lot about friendship in antiquity through contemporary times, and I am better for it.
However, I couldn't help but feel that something was missing. The subtitle "Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center" had given me hope that this would be a book that might help me reimagine my life is some way. While the book's thesis is clear - that friendship is both valuable and often underestimated in our society - it lacks a firm point of view or a decisive stance on what should be done to address this issue.
Rhaina Cohen's unique qualifications are evident in her ability to blend personal insights with comprehensive research, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the book might have had a more significant impact if it had taken a different direction. It could have leaned into being a personal memoir, a kind of "Eat, Pray, Love," with Cohen's friendship with Em at the narrative core, providing a more emotional and relatable dimension to the book.
Alternatively, "The Other Significant Others" could have been structured as a persuasive how-to guide, similar to "The Ethical Slut," offering practical advice for readers to create meaningful partnerships within their friendships. This approach would have translated the book's thesis into actionable steps, as I had imagined from the subtitle.
No matter. The book I read, not the book I had hoped to read or imagine now, was solid, and I have already recommended it to a couple of friends after a discussion of polyamory we had recently.
The book blends personal anecdotes collected from interviews with individuals in unconventional friendships that are often social if not legal partnerships, a historical context that traces the evolution of friendship and romantic relationships over time, and a look at the legal and societal aspects that have historically surrounded friendships.
In "The Other Significant Others," Rhaina Cohen presents a compelling case for the increased recognition of the role of friendship in our lives. The book offers a well-researched and thought-provoking exploration of the topic.
As I read, I appreciated the insights I gained about the various facets of human connections. Rhaina Cohen's personal experiences and journalistic background undoubtedly contribute to the book's well-researched content and the depth of her narrative. I also appreciated her willingness to be vulnerable. I particularly related to the discussion of feeling a kind of grief at her intense friendship with Em morphing into something less vibrant with the passage of time. I also learned a lot about friendship in antiquity through contemporary times, and I am better for it.
However, I couldn't help but feel that something was missing. The subtitle "Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center" had given me hope that this would be a book that might help me reimagine my life is some way. While the book's thesis is clear - that friendship is both valuable and often underestimated in our society - it lacks a firm point of view or a decisive stance on what should be done to address this issue.
Rhaina Cohen's unique qualifications are evident in her ability to blend personal insights with comprehensive research, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the book might have had a more significant impact if it had taken a different direction. It could have leaned into being a personal memoir, a kind of "Eat, Pray, Love," with Cohen's friendship with Em at the narrative core, providing a more emotional and relatable dimension to the book.
Alternatively, "The Other Significant Others" could have been structured as a persuasive how-to guide, similar to "The Ethical Slut," offering practical advice for readers to create meaningful partnerships within their friendships. This approach would have translated the book's thesis into actionable steps, as I had imagined from the subtitle.
No matter. The book I read, not the book I had hoped to read or imagine now, was solid, and I have already recommended it to a couple of friends after a discussion of polyamory we had recently.