A review by bombalurina
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? N/A
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

My Dark Vanessa is a book written through the lens of Vanessa, a 15 year old student who embarks on a sexual relationship with her 45 year old teacher, Jacob Strane. The adult me finds this book infuriating, but the teenaged me finds it wholly relatable. While I have never been a victim of sexual abuse, I have been a 15 year old girl who attended a school where abuse of that nature was prevalent. I can understand the high of the power Vanessa experiences when desire and interest is ignited in an older man.  
Fifteen is such a terribly confusing age, struggling to find your place, trying on different identities to find the right fit. A perfect storm is brewing inside, a mix of sexual precociousness meets older predatory manipulator. You watch yourself from above like a spectator as your innocence drains away and an identity you never wanted to try on is forever branded on a tender psyche, leaving its 
mark. 
I found the book to be well written and consistently thought out through Vanessa’s perspective. It’s a difficult subject to tackle, and I appreciate the delicacy with how Ms. Russell brought Vanessa to 
life. This story is about many things, seduction, obsession, power, lust, to name a few, but never at any point did I consider it a love story.. 
And to you women and men who have suffered abuse of any kind, stay strong and always know this does not define you, you are so more than this, my heart beats in perpetual unison for you. 
                       
                      
                         “Cause when you're fifteen, 
                        Somebody tells you they love you 
                        You're gonna believe them 
                        And when you're fifteen 
                        Don't forget to look before you fall 
                        I've found time can heal most anything 
                        And you just might find who you're supposed to be      
                        I didn't know who I was supposed to be   
                        At fifteen”
Expand filter menu Content Warnings