A review by mistled
Batman Eternal, Volume 3, by Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV
2.0
Keeping this bit spoiler free. The spoiler section will be marked.
I don't even want to give this a two. I want to burn these issues because this could have been great. This rating may magically become a one once I've thought about it.
What in the world was issue #42? I would not be surprised if one of Snyder's kids is named Harper. Give her a flaw! Allow her to properly fail! Just once in this whole ☠@✴#ing series! Just once! Please!!! And Snyder decreed "No, Harper shall never fail. At anything." So it was written. So it was done.
This is entertaining if you are willing to look past some obvious "that's not how the world works", "well, of course that is going to end up badly", and "they would all be dead 5000 times over if that's all it took" type events every issue.
I can overlook it up to the point it becomes central to the plot. I'll forgive some goofiness when the goal is "we need to make the cops/city hate Batman." That's so par for the course by now that it is simply annoying. But when they go and don't even explain a major plot point, on which the whole rest of the series relies (issue 47, I'm looking at you), then I want to be able to go back in time and have not read the previous books. There had to have been another way to do that. Hell, you could have at least attempted to explain what happened. No? Ok then.
With some graphic novels, I start taking notes as I read by issue. Usually this is because I am rereading something I enjoyed and I want to be more objective about the series as a whole instead of just rating the whole thing highly because of one standout issue. Other times, like this one, I am so angry at what I am reading that I need to prevent myself from giving an automatic 1 star for a single awful event.
Below are my brief personal notes that I jotted down as I read. They spoil everything. Everything.
Issue 35 - 0 stars. Lucius just betrays Bats so Bard can murder Batman? ☠@✴# no. In what universe does a company doing something wrong mean all of the CEOs private assets get seized? Due process just bent over for this one.
36 - 3 - fine, I guess. Why the ☠@✴# is Hush in a transparent cage? Blindfold/gag him. Put him in a medically induced coma. He's obviously going to break out and almost murder everyone some stupid way.
37 - 3 - fine
38 3 - better
39 3? - what?
40 2 - batman is ☠@✴#ing stupid
41 1 - ☠@✴#ing stupid. Mind control? On everyone in two seconds? If it was that easy, they'd all be dead years ago. (also crazy art change)
42 2 - Mary ☠@✴# ☠@✴# harper ☠@✴#ing Sue. Does Snyder have a daughter named Harper?
43 2 is that supposed to be catwoman? But I liked the last artist.
44 3
45 3
46 3 "Prepare to time travel" - shut the ☠@✴# up. Time travel better not have anything to do with this.
47 1 - Why aren't they just letting some of these guys be? Who cares if that's all Bane and Clayface are doing? 0 stars for that being ☠@✴#ing obvious. Why isn't he in a medically induced coma? Why would a full remote shutdown exist for the plane? How stupid does he think his readers are? More importantly, how did the power get turned off? Equally importantly, how did that help him escape?
48 1 - "Triggered the suit emp" remotely... wtf? Then Jason's weapons just explode... remotely. That's a special kind of stupid. Neither of those would be things allowed of a remote system. ☠@✴#, the second one wouldn't even be a real thing at all. Vale is still an idiot and pathetic. She was doing so well earlier. Spoiler makes zero sense. I won't even address how there is no chance she is still free without any training while having that large a bounty on her head. She should be dead.
49 3 Uhm, the prison cells are electronic. Can they even be closed just by pulling them? Or opened locally with a key? Wouldn't even cross my mind if the series hadn't already gone off the rails.
Wait... the cage isn't broken? How the ☠@✴# did the other guy get out then? Did it open when the power went out? Did someone else let him out?
He's going to what? Innocent life suddenly not a thing we care about anymore?
50 3 Yep, that crash happened in the middle of the street and no one was hurt. Right.
What? This better be amazing.
51 So... this all could have been solved 45 issues ago if Amanda didn't want to protect the man who tried to kill her. ☠@✴#ing great.
Who the ☠@✴# is that?
52 I have zero idea who this guy is, but I was obviously supposed to recognize him. Court of Owls, maybe? It's been a long time since I read those.
I don't even want to give this a two. I want to burn these issues because this could have been great. This rating may magically become a one once I've thought about it.
What in the world was issue #42? I would not be surprised if one of Snyder's kids is named Harper. Give her a flaw! Allow her to properly fail! Just once in this whole ☠@✴#ing series! Just once! Please!!! And Snyder decreed "No, Harper shall never fail. At anything." So it was written. So it was done.
This is entertaining if you are willing to look past some obvious "that's not how the world works", "well, of course that is going to end up badly", and "they would all be dead 5000 times over if that's all it took" type events every issue.
I can overlook it up to the point it becomes central to the plot. I'll forgive some goofiness when the goal is "we need to make the cops/city hate Batman." That's so par for the course by now that it is simply annoying. But when they go and don't even explain a major plot point, on which the whole rest of the series relies (issue 47, I'm looking at you), then I want to be able to go back in time and have not read the previous books. There had to have been another way to do that. Hell, you could have at least attempted to explain what happened. No? Ok then.
With some graphic novels, I start taking notes as I read by issue. Usually this is because I am rereading something I enjoyed and I want to be more objective about the series as a whole instead of just rating the whole thing highly because of one standout issue. Other times, like this one, I am so angry at what I am reading that I need to prevent myself from giving an automatic 1 star for a single awful event.
Below are my brief personal notes that I jotted down as I read. They spoil everything. Everything.
Spoiler
Issue 35 - 0 stars. Lucius just betrays Bats so Bard can murder Batman? ☠@✴# no. In what universe does a company doing something wrong mean all of the CEOs private assets get seized? Due process just bent over for this one.
36 - 3 - fine, I guess. Why the ☠@✴# is Hush in a transparent cage? Blindfold/gag him. Put him in a medically induced coma. He's obviously going to break out and almost murder everyone some stupid way.
37 - 3 - fine
38 3 - better
39 3? - what?
40 2 - batman is ☠@✴#ing stupid
41 1 - ☠@✴#ing stupid. Mind control? On everyone in two seconds? If it was that easy, they'd all be dead years ago. (also crazy art change)
42 2 - Mary ☠@✴# ☠@✴# harper ☠@✴#ing Sue. Does Snyder have a daughter named Harper?
43 2 is that supposed to be catwoman? But I liked the last artist.
44 3
45 3
46 3 "Prepare to time travel" - shut the ☠@✴# up. Time travel better not have anything to do with this.
47 1 - Why aren't they just letting some of these guys be? Who cares if that's all Bane and Clayface are doing? 0 stars for that being ☠@✴#ing obvious. Why isn't he in a medically induced coma? Why would a full remote shutdown exist for the plane? How stupid does he think his readers are? More importantly, how did the power get turned off? Equally importantly, how did that help him escape?
48 1 - "Triggered the suit emp" remotely... wtf? Then Jason's weapons just explode... remotely. That's a special kind of stupid. Neither of those would be things allowed of a remote system. ☠@✴#, the second one wouldn't even be a real thing at all. Vale is still an idiot and pathetic. She was doing so well earlier. Spoiler makes zero sense. I won't even address how there is no chance she is still free without any training while having that large a bounty on her head. She should be dead.
49 3 Uhm, the prison cells are electronic. Can they even be closed just by pulling them? Or opened locally with a key? Wouldn't even cross my mind if the series hadn't already gone off the rails.
Wait... the cage isn't broken? How the ☠@✴# did the other guy get out then? Did it open when the power went out? Did someone else let him out?
He's going to what? Innocent life suddenly not a thing we care about anymore?
50 3 Yep, that crash happened in the middle of the street and no one was hurt. Right.
What? This better be amazing.
51 So... this all could have been solved 45 issues ago if Amanda didn't want to protect the man who tried to kill her. ☠@✴#ing great.
Who the ☠@✴# is that?
52 I have zero idea who this guy is, but I was obviously supposed to recognize him. Court of Owls, maybe? It's been a long time since I read those.