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A review by wanderaven
Wild by Cheryl Strayed
3.0
I wanted so badly to like this more than I did. I pre-ordered this book on my Kindle long before it seemed anyone else - let alone Oprah - knew about it. For the first several months after the release, however, I didn't get to it because I was in my final months of finishing school.
But after that it took me several months to read it primarily because I just felt so disengaged and cold towards Strayed. I thought it was all here for me - a grieving woman (been there) traveling alone (been there), and using the opportunity to face down her demons and help herself recover? Sounded absolutely like my type of narrative.
My primary hesitation throughout the story was just simply that I could not empathize with Strayed's responses to her circumstances. Although throughout the book she states that she blamed herself and took responsibility for all of the destructive things that she did, to both herself and the people around her, ultimately, the core of the message was that she excused her behavior as a response to her mother's death. I'm just not sure I can can fully buy this. I am inclined to believe she might have done these things anyway, and just scapegoated her mother's death.
I know Strayed was young when her mother died young, but she wasn't that young; she was in her mid-twenties, and that also felt strange. She blamed her stepfather for becoming distant after her mother's death, and also blamed him for an incident for which she, as an adult woman who was raised by her mother to be strong, could have taken responsibility but apparently believed that he should have. Early in the book, she essentially says that her stepfather abandoned her to the life of an orphan, and at first I felt for her, and then I realized she was an adult, not a minor, and what was her stepfather supposed to do? Set up a shrine to her mother and never have a relationship again? I do agree that
And, to address a running theme throughout the book that just made my skin crawl every time it happened, I could not relate to the concept of wanting to have sex with a man within the first few minutes of meeting him. Wait. Scratch that. I can, actually, relate to wanting to have sex with a man shortly after meeting him. A man. Not almost every single damn man I meet. She did refrain from wanting to have sex with I really, really don't think I'm being prudish here. Really. My response to these scenes had less to do with sexual concerns and more to do with a claim to be trying to be less self-destructive and not seeing these actions as exactly that.
So, yes, the indiscretions of youth, and the sometimes insanity of grief. Still not enough for me to relate to so much of this journey. I would still recommend this book, with some hesitation, as perhaps her experiences can be more easily sympathetic to the right person, and some of her insights are beautiful, the writing eloquent.
But after that it took me several months to read it primarily because I just felt so disengaged and cold towards Strayed. I thought it was all here for me - a grieving woman (been there) traveling alone (been there), and using the opportunity to face down her demons and help herself recover? Sounded absolutely like my type of narrative.
My primary hesitation throughout the story was just simply that I could not empathize with Strayed's responses to her circumstances. Although throughout the book she states that she blamed herself and took responsibility for all of the destructive things that she did, to both herself and the people around her, ultimately, the core of the message was that she excused her behavior as a response to her mother's death. I'm just not sure I can can fully buy this. I am inclined to believe she might have done these things anyway, and just scapegoated her mother's death.
I know Strayed was young when her mother died young, but she wasn't that young; she was in her mid-twenties, and that also felt strange. She blamed her stepfather for becoming distant after her mother's death, and also blamed him for an incident for which she, as an adult woman who was raised by her mother to be strong, could have taken responsibility but apparently believed that he should have. Early in the book, she essentially says that her stepfather abandoned her to the life of an orphan, and at first I felt for her, and then I realized she was an adult, not a minor, and what was her stepfather supposed to do? Set up a shrine to her mother and never have a relationship again? I do agree that
Spoiler
moving his new wife into the home apparently still shared with the (adult) children of his deceased wife was asking for a lot from them.And, to address a running theme throughout the book that just made my skin crawl every time it happened, I could not relate to the concept of wanting to have sex with a man within the first few minutes of meeting him. Wait. Scratch that. I can, actually, relate to wanting to have sex with a man shortly after meeting him. A man. Not almost every single damn man I meet. She did refrain from wanting to have sex with
Spoiler
the man intent on raping her, but not with the creepy stranger who groped her in the back seat of the car in which she was hitchhiking... instead, she wanted him to do it again.So, yes, the indiscretions of youth, and the sometimes insanity of grief. Still not enough for me to relate to so much of this journey. I would still recommend this book, with some hesitation, as perhaps her experiences can be more easily sympathetic to the right person, and some of her insights are beautiful, the writing eloquent.