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A review by fringebookreviews
Temptations of a Wallflower by Eva Leigh
2.0
✨Me: I’m fine I’m like so fine.
Narrator: She snapped y’all she’s really unwell like she’s down bad, embarrassingly bad because this is a piece of fiction but she’s acting like the book personally dishonored her cow.✨
I am… grievously distressed. *Cracks knuckles* Let’s go girls. And all people not named Jeremy or Sarah. I’m sorry if your name is either Jeremy or Sarah, but for the duration of this review, I am morally opposed to anything resembling these two characters.
Now, you may ask, was it always like this? No, dear reader, it twasn’t. I enjoyed the beginning of this book and I really loved that Sarah was the Lady of Dubious Quality. I’ve read a few other Eva Leigh books that reference the naughty books and they’re always so fun. THIS book however was so not fun.
It all started to go downhill when they got married. For one, I was very confused they were getting married. It wasn’t a marriage of convenience (not really), so they just literally got married after like 1-2 kisses. (One of those kisses happened when they didn’t even know they were kissing each other.) However, it was still a little after 50% that this marriage occurred and there was still so much book left. These two were great big horn dogs so fucking did commence vigorously and happily. The sex was nice until they were both so wishy washy and disappointing that you realized the two of them didn’t deserve orgasms.
(Side note: It’s a whole thing but the reader understands why she wanted to get married so quickly and he is “righteously” affronted when he learns but this boy accepted the proposal on nothing more than minor attraction too. He can’t claim “ahhh you misled me” when it was clearly a marriage of like not love. I actually don’t believe they loved each other ever in this book. They were just horny. Which is relatable, but this a romance.)
While it was definitely time for them to bang, I just never felt their connection (pre or post coitus). The marriage was weird and by that point Jeremy was getting on my nerves. He also just really stuck it in and made her first time terrible. (He then got wise and used a Lady of Dubious quality book to inform his pleasuring skills—this is important, remember it.) So after the one terrible time, he was pounding her in every which way and fulfilling both of their repressed, horny wet dreams. I got over his initial selfishness in bed because he seemed hot and I’m pretty shallow. He was also a vicar, but a less stuffy one because he was cool with beating his meat and didn’t really wanna be a vicar in the first place. Again, seemingly hot girl shit. Well, the hot girl shit ended and turned into errand boy baby poop real fast.
1. He had major daddy issues. He could recognize that his father was a shit hole, but he still chose to do his bidding because 2. He couldn’t possibly rely on his wife’s dowry to support their family because 3. His big man pride wouldn’t be able to handle it (this is important, remember it) so he 4. Still decided to hunt down the Lady of Dubious Quality intent on ruining her life to save his pride and please his father, no matter the fact that 5. Jeremy dingled his pringle to those “morally corrupt” books and then used them to foster his sexual prowess and 6. Was so happy that Sarah didn’t judge him for reading the books and hoped that 7. Since she didn’t judge him then, she hopefully wouldn’t judge him for ruining the life and reputation of this writer they both read, even when 8. Sarah is like “bro you’re really fucked for searching her out just because your dad said to, like grow some shrubs on your bubs, you prune” but then 9. When Sarah says she will give up writing for him he’s like “bet” and is SO confused as to why she is now more depressed than ever (“How can my glorious, magical penis not make her happy????” He asks.) and he prays for the answer of what’s wrong with her rather than read the room, so it’s a very believable 10. When he is like it’s actually okay “keep writing your cute little books I just want you in my bed again” but doesn’t actually apologize for anything or grovel at all.
He constantly acted the morally superior hypocrite when he learned she was The Lady. He was like WoW YOu’RE sO PriDeFul YoU RIskeD yoUr REputATioN anD MY cUTe litTle lifE thAT My DaDDy GaVE mE juST sO YoU CouLD BE a CuTe LiTTLe WriTeR. He had the AUDACITY to call her prideful!!!! What the fuck!!! He was literally so angry for her lying to him but HE WAS ALSO A SNEAKY LIL SNEK. DID HE FORGET HE WAS ALSO AT THAT SEX DEN WHEN HE WAS ANGRY AT HER FOR NOT MENTIONING IT???? DONT REMEMBER YOU CONFESSING BUDDY BOY. DID HE FORGET HE WAS ALSO HIDING THE FACT THAT HE WAS HIS FATHER’S LACKEY??? Like yeah crazy she didn’t confess when you said you were literally trying to ruin the Lady’s life for nothing more than an allowance. Seriously so fucking sure.
1. No, Sarah doesn’t make this man do shit and 2. She blames herself multiple times and 3. Sacrifices way too much for this piece of excrement, with the main example being 4. SHE BURNED HER FUCKING MANUSCRIPT BECAUSE OF HIM. I still hate Jeremy more but Sarah really did not help herself until the very end and for me it was too little too late. However, I didn’t think her lies were worthy of Jeremy’s self-righteous drivel.
When she finally plucks up the courage to choose writing over him he’s all like “say what you wanna say then like don’t even care what at this point because then once you stop talking we will share a bed like we must share a bed I need you in my bed why would you possibly not want to be in my bed it’s such a nice bed I’m so nice why don’t you want nice things?”
As for the heat, there’s not too much sex in a “sex is bad” way but sex was always a bandaid for their problems and these
Narrator: She snapped y’all she’s really unwell like she’s down bad, embarrassingly bad because this is a piece of fiction but she’s acting like the book personally dishonored her cow.✨
I am… grievously distressed. *Cracks knuckles* Let’s go girls. And all people not named Jeremy or Sarah. I’m sorry if your name is either Jeremy or Sarah, but for the duration of this review, I am morally opposed to anything resembling these two characters.
Now, you may ask, was it always like this? No, dear reader, it twasn’t. I enjoyed the beginning of this book and I really loved that Sarah was the Lady of Dubious Quality. I’ve read a few other Eva Leigh books that reference the naughty books and they’re always so fun. THIS book however was so not fun.
It all started to go downhill when they got married. For one, I was very confused they were getting married. It wasn’t a marriage of convenience (not really), so they just literally got married after like 1-2 kisses. (One of those kisses happened when they didn’t even know they were kissing each other.) However, it was still a little after 50% that this marriage occurred and there was still so much book left. These two were great big horn dogs so fucking did commence vigorously and happily. The sex was nice until they were both so wishy washy and disappointing that you realized the two of them didn’t deserve orgasms.
(Side note: It’s a whole thing but the reader understands why she wanted to get married so quickly and he is “righteously” affronted when he learns but this boy accepted the proposal on nothing more than minor attraction too. He can’t claim “ahhh you misled me” when it was clearly a marriage of like not love. I actually don’t believe they loved each other ever in this book. They were just horny. Which is relatable, but this a romance.)
While it was definitely time for them to bang, I just never felt their connection (pre or post coitus). The marriage was weird and by that point Jeremy was getting on my nerves. He also just really stuck it in and made her first time terrible. (He then got wise and used a Lady of Dubious quality book to inform his pleasuring skills—this is important, remember it.) So after the one terrible time, he was pounding her in every which way and fulfilling both of their repressed, horny wet dreams. I got over his initial selfishness in bed because he seemed hot and I’m pretty shallow. He was also a vicar, but a less stuffy one because he was cool with beating his meat and didn’t really wanna be a vicar in the first place. Again, seemingly hot girl shit. Well, the hot girl shit ended and turned into errand boy baby poop real fast.
1. He had major daddy issues. He could recognize that his father was a shit hole, but he still chose to do his bidding because 2. He couldn’t possibly rely on his wife’s dowry to support their family because 3. His big man pride wouldn’t be able to handle it (this is important, remember it) so he 4. Still decided to hunt down the Lady of Dubious Quality intent on ruining her life to save his pride and please his father, no matter the fact that 5. Jeremy dingled his pringle to those “morally corrupt” books and then used them to foster his sexual prowess and 6. Was so happy that Sarah didn’t judge him for reading the books and hoped that 7. Since she didn’t judge him then, she hopefully wouldn’t judge him for ruining the life and reputation of this writer they both read, even when 8. Sarah is like “bro you’re really fucked for searching her out just because your dad said to, like grow some shrubs on your bubs, you prune” but then 9. When Sarah says she will give up writing for him he’s like “bet” and is SO confused as to why she is now more depressed than ever (“How can my glorious, magical penis not make her happy????” He asks.) and he prays for the answer of what’s wrong with her rather than read the room, so it’s a very believable 10. When he is like it’s actually okay “keep writing your cute little books I just want you in my bed again” but doesn’t actually apologize for anything or grovel at all.
He constantly acted the morally superior hypocrite when he learned she was The Lady. He was like WoW YOu’RE sO PriDeFul YoU RIskeD yoUr REputATioN anD MY cUTe litTle lifE thAT My DaDDy GaVE mE juST sO YoU CouLD BE a CuTe LiTTLe WriTeR. He had the AUDACITY to call her prideful!!!! What the fuck!!! He was literally so angry for her lying to him but HE WAS ALSO A SNEAKY LIL SNEK. DID HE FORGET HE WAS ALSO AT THAT SEX DEN WHEN HE WAS ANGRY AT HER FOR NOT MENTIONING IT???? DONT REMEMBER YOU CONFESSING BUDDY BOY. DID HE FORGET HE WAS ALSO HIDING THE FACT THAT HE WAS HIS FATHER’S LACKEY??? Like yeah crazy she didn’t confess when you said you were literally trying to ruin the Lady’s life for nothing more than an allowance. Seriously so fucking sure.
1. No, Sarah doesn’t make this man do shit and 2. She blames herself multiple times and 3. Sacrifices way too much for this piece of excrement, with the main example being 4. SHE BURNED HER FUCKING MANUSCRIPT BECAUSE OF HIM. I still hate Jeremy more but Sarah really did not help herself until the very end and for me it was too little too late. However, I didn’t think her lies were worthy of Jeremy’s self-righteous drivel.
When she finally plucks up the courage to choose writing over him he’s all like “say what you wanna say then like don’t even care what at this point because then once you stop talking we will share a bed like we must share a bed I need you in my bed why would you possibly not want to be in my bed it’s such a nice bed I’m so nice why don’t you want nice things?”
As for the heat, there’s not too much sex in a “sex is bad” way but sex was always a bandaid for their problems and these