A review by thejoyofbooking
Crush by Andrea N. Richesin
4.0
This charming collection of essays relives the heady joy, the awful nervousness, and the gentle maturation of crushes and first love. In the double baker’s dozen, there are crushes unspoken and unrequited, clumsy attempts at leaving the “friend zone”, skillful attempts at leaving the “friend zone”, and an honest-to-goodness first love meant-to-be marriage. As with most crushes, the stories are somewhat selfish and navel-gazing, idolizing someone to the point of completely ignoring who they really are.
Walking through strangers’ stories of love, longing, and heartbreak, I was treated to my own memories – the untouchable golden boy who broke my heart when he started dating the head cheerleader, even though I’d never so much as spoken to him; the Nice Guy whose heart I broke (on the same day his dog died!); the bad boy who officially shattered my heart; the loves that came and went and the one that stayed. Love, especially as a teenager, feels so unique, so intense, that it’s impossible anyone else on earth has ever experienced anything remotely similar. Yet here were these people describing my feelings!
My favorite essay is “Uncle Greg, a Giant Chicken, and the Murderous Pottery Wheel,” wherein the author contacts the object of a college crush to get his side of their one date, and discovers that their memories of the experience are so wildly different they are hard to reconcile as having happened at the same time. Worse, she discovers that his memories in general of her are a far cry from how she remembers herself, and while it’s no harm, no foul all these years later, the crush points out, “the discrepancies in our points of view make a great study of how people create tailored realities in their minds based on very little information — about other people, their intentions, how they feel.” With a jolt, I realized that those crushes I was fondly thinking back on might be told as completely different stories by the objects of that affection!
A number of the essays take on the irony of the word “crush” to describe infatuation, when it could more accurately describe the feeling when that infatuation isn’t returned. A few others talk about the bizarre experience of liking someone – like liking them — and being absolutely petrified that they would find out. As if keeping it a secret could somehow make all your dreams come true!
My favorite line from the book comes from a story in the form of a mixtape: “You have to have a crush on your spouse. You must feel as though you can’t believe your luck that this person, your ultimate crush, feels exactly the same way.” I hope that I will believe in my childrens’ crushes and not toss them away like so much puppy love – but this is the message that I really want them to take home. Find someone on whom you can have an ongoing, extended crush – and who will crush on you in return — and you’ll be happy all the days of your life.
Source: Free copy from the editor, no obligation to review
Walking through strangers’ stories of love, longing, and heartbreak, I was treated to my own memories – the untouchable golden boy who broke my heart when he started dating the head cheerleader, even though I’d never so much as spoken to him; the Nice Guy whose heart I broke (on the same day his dog died!); the bad boy who officially shattered my heart; the loves that came and went and the one that stayed. Love, especially as a teenager, feels so unique, so intense, that it’s impossible anyone else on earth has ever experienced anything remotely similar. Yet here were these people describing my feelings!
My favorite essay is “Uncle Greg, a Giant Chicken, and the Murderous Pottery Wheel,” wherein the author contacts the object of a college crush to get his side of their one date, and discovers that their memories of the experience are so wildly different they are hard to reconcile as having happened at the same time. Worse, she discovers that his memories in general of her are a far cry from how she remembers herself, and while it’s no harm, no foul all these years later, the crush points out, “the discrepancies in our points of view make a great study of how people create tailored realities in their minds based on very little information — about other people, their intentions, how they feel.” With a jolt, I realized that those crushes I was fondly thinking back on might be told as completely different stories by the objects of that affection!
A number of the essays take on the irony of the word “crush” to describe infatuation, when it could more accurately describe the feeling when that infatuation isn’t returned. A few others talk about the bizarre experience of liking someone – like liking them — and being absolutely petrified that they would find out. As if keeping it a secret could somehow make all your dreams come true!
My favorite line from the book comes from a story in the form of a mixtape: “You have to have a crush on your spouse. You must feel as though you can’t believe your luck that this person, your ultimate crush, feels exactly the same way.” I hope that I will believe in my childrens’ crushes and not toss them away like so much puppy love – but this is the message that I really want them to take home. Find someone on whom you can have an ongoing, extended crush – and who will crush on you in return — and you’ll be happy all the days of your life.
Source: Free copy from the editor, no obligation to review