A review by moranwehrli
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

I found this book incredibly helpful, but I have one major problem with it. About 1/2 way through Gibson lays out the distinction between internalizers and externalizers as different reactions to growing up with emotionally immature parents. I found this to be very true and interesting HOWEVER throughout the rest of the book externalizers tend to be villainized and portrayed as people incapable of change while the actually advice focuses in on helping the internalizer. There is some vague attempt at explaining this by saying internalizers are much more likely to read a book like this. But I think this is a self fulfilling prophecy. There’s isn’t as much point to reading this book as an externalizer as it doesnt offer as much help. ALSO I think there are some point where the author points to internalizer traits as potentially good virtuous or helpful when I disagree. As an internalizer myself, I think it important to understand much of our coping revolves around not being the problem to the point we are even able to trick therapist into thinking maladaptive behavior is healthy. 
Ultimately I think this book tries to take on a unbiased scientific perspective despite talking about incredible personal and emotionally topics. This author is obviously an internalizer and harbors a decent amount of bias she has not yet unpacked. I WOULD suggest this book to almost anyone, but warn them first of this bias 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse