A review by maple_dove
This Place Is Still Beautiful by XiXi Tian

emotional reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This Place Is Still Beautiful by XiXi Tian is a book about two Chinese-American sisters with a Chinese immigrant mother (their white father abandoned them when the sisters were young), one who passes as white, a hate crime and its impact on their lives.

I should really read more Chinese-American books. It feels great to read about people and experiences and think, "This feels familiar." Once again, the traditional Chinese-American family dynamics hit very close to home for me. There are good things, of course, like the food, (parts of) culture, language, etc. But there's also things like racism,  colorism, guilt-tripping, hypocrisy . . . Too often, I forget that not everybody feels out of place, furious, unsafe, and unloved with their birth family.
The more I read about Margaret (She/Her), the more that it became clear to me that she and I share a lot of similarities: we both care and are passionate about social issues and justice, sharp/assertive (I'm not as much of either of those things as I used, or I would like 🙁), see Annalie (She/Her) in a negative light, both born in the U.S., etc. (She and I do share a significant number of differences. For example, I've never dated anyone, I have a mother and a father (both Chinese immigrants), I do not have a sister, and so on.)
Annalie was definitely annoying, more often that I would've liked. However, I do understand she's complex. She's self-conscious and considerably mentally younger than her older sister, Margaret. I also overthink (not in the same way as she does), and it's an issue I'm desperately trying to overcome. Not every girl is strong and confident, nor do they have to be.
I'll admit, I was annoyed with Annalie for not wanting to report the hate crime. I don't completely apologize for that, as she was selfish and honestly, racist. However, now that I finished reading this book, I realize that Annalie's family are victims, and in the end, it's up to them if they chose to report it or not.
I never trusted Thom and his friends from the start. Me when pretending to be surprised when it was revealed that Mike and Brayden were the ones to spray paint a racial slur on Margaret's and Annalie's garage door: :O

Overall, this is a beautiful, realistic book that I do recommend.

Favorite Quotes:

"Xuefeng Wang," she says.
"Shweh-fung Wang?" he repeats, the syllables bloated in his mouth.
His pronunciation makes me flinch. It's not like he's trying to be disrespectful, but hearing Americans try to say Chinese words has always made me feel a little uncomfortable. The way it makes Chinese sound rough and stupid. Mama has always gone by Jenny, but she never changed her legal name."

I think about all the other Asian families who stay quiet, the mothers who tell us that we only need to put our heads down and work hard to succeed in this country, the bitterness of that lie. Our community. They always tell us that we're the good ones, the ones who don't complain, the model minority. We smile as they walk all over us.

It takes me about four and a half hours of calling around to every downtown law firm to get a job for the summer. People are usually amazed at how quickly and easily I can get things done, but the reality is, people generally underestimate the power of just being assertive and persistent. You never know if someone will say yes if you don't ask. (pg. 58)

It's not something I know how to share with people I casually pass in the halls. Yet so many of them feel the need to reach out and share some comfort with language that's entirely inadequate for the situation. What can you say? How many different ways can you say it's awful? What does it mean to hear the word sorry so many times from people who aren't apologizing for themselves?

He shared the newspaper article B wrote a long post about how the article was unfairly painting the community with a broad brush, and how I was making it look like the entire town was racist. It's understandable that Margaret is upset, but it's not an excuse to play the race card, and her comments alienate potential allies, he wrote. Such a response to an isolated, unfortunate incident divides us rather than unites us.
While a lot of people commented in support of me, there were plenty of people who had liked and shared his post as well. I tried not to hold a personal vendetta against all those people.
"I can't believe he actually said I played the race card." I shake my head. "Apparently I'm the one in the wrong even though someone wrote a racial slur on my door. I have this theory that only low-key racist people use the term 'race card.' Obviously Sean had to make this incident all about him, as per usual."
"You shouldn't let him bother you," Rajiv says. "He clearly hasn't changed."
"The thing is, a lot of people agree with him! They think me talking publicly about racism is more offensive than an actual hate crime. People would rather I just kept my mouth shut and looked sad. Then they could white knight in and express sympathy without feeling uncomfortable. I'm not in the business of keeping people from feeling uncomfortable." (Pg. 110-111)

I agree with you. You shouldn't give anybody a pass. But you're not going to convince Sean. He's just in it to stir up trouble. You know he'll never learn to see anything from anyone else's perspective." He shrugs. "Why even try with people like that? (Pg. 111)

I think about how nobody in this family wants to talk about anything. I think about how my decisions are always colored by Mama's opinions, but Mama's decisions can never be colored by mine. I am itchy with anger.

I can't read most words. A few. Every third word in a children's book. But I do remember the word for "secret": mi mi. Two characters, pronounced the same, with the same tones, but written differently. The two characters, though, both have the character for "heart" embedded in them. A secret is two hearts.

"Anyway, so did they duel over your hand or something?"
I didn't look at her. "Not exactly. I told the confessing one to go away. And he did. And then I called you before I went in to say goodbye to anybody. God, I'm such a mess. I've screwed everything up."
"How? Because you didn't pick anybody?" She is incredulous. "I know that not dating you is a major tragedy, but I think that these practically grown men can handle it. You don't have to pick a man, you know." (Pg. 313)

"Do you still think people will hate me?" she asks timidly, shifting in her spot.
I feel a surge of protective sympathy for her. High school is hard. I forget sometimes because I spent all my time thinking about life after, about getting away. (REDACTED) isn't like that. She has always lived in the present.

"He said that he spray-painted our house because of you, but I shouldn't be mad because I don't even look Asian." The pain shines out from the stiff set of her expression. "It made me think about how you couldn't ever hide from the hate like me. I'm sorry if I ever didn't stand up for you or see things your way. I'm so sorry, Margaret."
I'm shaking my head. "No. Stop. Don't Say that. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like you weren't Asian enough. We are the same, you and I. But please remember that you're allowed to have different opinions than me." (Pg. 337)

I tell her about how if feels to be part of a community, only to be rudely told that you are "other" out of nowhere. What it's like for something racist to happen to you, only to have to defend whether it's racist enough to count, and whether I've considered the feelings of everyone else about my own harm. I talk about how being Asian means that people only like you when you're trying to assimilate, but you're the first to be scapegoated when somebody needs a scapegoat. How easy it is for you to forget for even a moment that you are still not one of them, how easy it can be to turn away from other people of color when it matters. You're standing with a foot inside the door of whiteness, but you'll never step all the way in.

Replace "Asian" with "light-skinned and Asian," and I completely agree.

All I know is that wherever Thom's story takes him, I won't be part of it. It's not my responsibility to make him a better man. (Pg. 356)
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