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A review by giorgiareads
Deadline to Damnation by Anne Malcom
4.0
I have been impatiently waiting for this firstly because I love the Sons of Templar series and second because for some reason I knew this story was gonna be one to add to my favourites.
Now there is no such thing as perfect but there is such an thing as heartbreakingly perfect. The story is one of the most tragic ones the Sons have had so far and that’s not only because there’s so much talk of death (metaphorical and physical) but also because the questions that arise from it are far from easy to answer.
Jagger and Caroline are characters that you cry for, that you want to curse at (Jagger), that you struggle to forgive and understand. Even with the promise of an HEA, you know that their story is shrouded in pain and the weight of all those lonely years they spent apart is not going to be erased with the promise of a blissful forever.
Perhaps that is why this is the rawest Anne has been, because this is not a story of boy meets girl, he declares she’s it, bad stuff happens, she gets rescued and then they live happily with the club family. NO, this is a second chance that might have never happened if life didn’t bring Caroline in the right place at the right time, just like there would have been no need for a second chance if Jagger has coped differently with his scars and decided on a different course after war.
But one line or paragraph in the book really made sense of it all as if it was some sort of divine order that made their journey long and riddled with numbing and suffocating awareness of loss —- Caroline and Jagger would have been doomed to fail if he had come back after that war and resumed their relationship, that is not to say they would have not been as in love with each other, but they would been consumed by said love because they no longer understood each other. She needed to hurt, to understand the world he discovered and changed him. She needed to become more in order to see and recognise the parts of him that were new and that changed him into who he is presently.
As Anne wrote, if she had seen him alive before she had the chance to taste the bitterness of life he might have walked away because he could not have her taste his bitterness and also because it was Liam she loved, and it was Liam that loved her. Jagger could not have innocent pure and clueless by his side and that’s why the new Caroline was the same, she loved the old Liam but she fell in love with Jagger.
I felt frustration and some other thing I can’t describe towards Jagger and for his decision, but then again I don’t know how I would have reacted in those circumstances. I can only imagine it was like ripping a part of your souls and stomping on it and whatever his family felt, his feelings must have matched it. Also it really frustrates me how he never tried to search for information on her, how was he never curios if she was well, happy or sad what became of her in general? She was supposed to be it for him, the ONE and his love never ceased in 14 years yet he never tried to see her again? A google search and he would have known. Also he tried to create a life with Sarah, granted it did not work but while it may be excusable for Caroline to find a partner since she thought he was dead, Jagger knew she was out there and yet he tried to move on from her regardless. If he was so messed up as he said how did he even try to have a life with Sarah and think about family and kids - isn’t that what normal non messed up people do? I know he didn’t go thorough with it but just the fact that tried bugged me (it’s one thing to sleep around and another to try and settle down).
Regardless, this book felt all too real because it was messed up and it played with my emotions and there was no happy ending in my opinion, just a desired ending. There is so much baggage and too many empty years to carry around in memories for it to be a clean slate happy ride ahead. I’m a “ it’s the journey that matters and not the outcome “ type of girl.
This book is not perfect as there are some things in the story that didn’t click with my inquisitive mind but I overlook such things because I like that it made me feel.
The only thing that needed more explanation, more depth, more reason is why Jagger/Liam decided to play dead for so long and why he never thought of going back. It just didn’t feel believable that a man would cut out everyone just like that and start a new life. I would get it he went into deep depression and decided to live in the forests of the Amazon with no connection to humans but for him to create a new family out of the bikers it just sat wrong with me and the bullshit about the club understanding him and giving him the opportunity to unleash his new needs (to kill and to destroy) that he could have done even if he came home after awhile and told everyone he was alive but that he wanted to pursue a different lifestyle. He could have set everyone free of the sorrow of having a death hang over them forever. He was selfish in every way of the word. He got to know that Caroline and his family was safe but they got to live with a ghost in their midst for the rest of their life.
Gahhh I need to stop writing now or I’ll never finish.
Now there is no such thing as perfect but there is such an thing as heartbreakingly perfect. The story is one of the most tragic ones the Sons have had so far and that’s not only because there’s so much talk of death (metaphorical and physical) but also because the questions that arise from it are far from easy to answer.
Jagger and Caroline are characters that you cry for, that you want to curse at (Jagger), that you struggle to forgive and understand. Even with the promise of an HEA, you know that their story is shrouded in pain and the weight of all those lonely years they spent apart is not going to be erased with the promise of a blissful forever.
Perhaps that is why this is the rawest Anne has been, because this is not a story of boy meets girl, he declares she’s it, bad stuff happens, she gets rescued and then they live happily with the club family. NO, this is a second chance that might have never happened if life didn’t bring Caroline in the right place at the right time, just like there would have been no need for a second chance if Jagger has coped differently with his scars and decided on a different course after war.
But one line or paragraph in the book really made sense of it all as if it was some sort of divine order that made their journey long and riddled with numbing and suffocating awareness of loss —- Caroline and Jagger would have been doomed to fail if he had come back after that war and resumed their relationship, that is not to say they would have not been as in love with each other, but they would been consumed by said love because they no longer understood each other. She needed to hurt, to understand the world he discovered and changed him. She needed to become more in order to see and recognise the parts of him that were new and that changed him into who he is presently.
As Anne wrote, if she had seen him alive before she had the chance to taste the bitterness of life he might have walked away because he could not have her taste his bitterness and also because it was Liam she loved, and it was Liam that loved her. Jagger could not have innocent pure and clueless by his side and that’s why the new Caroline was the same, she loved the old Liam but she fell in love with Jagger.
I felt frustration and some other thing I can’t describe towards Jagger and for his decision, but then again I don’t know how I would have reacted in those circumstances. I can only imagine it was like ripping a part of your souls and stomping on it and whatever his family felt, his feelings must have matched it. Also it really frustrates me how he never tried to search for information on her, how was he never curios if she was well, happy or sad what became of her in general? She was supposed to be it for him, the ONE and his love never ceased in 14 years yet he never tried to see her again? A google search and he would have known. Also he tried to create a life with Sarah, granted it did not work but while it may be excusable for Caroline to find a partner since she thought he was dead, Jagger knew she was out there and yet he tried to move on from her regardless. If he was so messed up as he said how did he even try to have a life with Sarah and think about family and kids - isn’t that what normal non messed up people do? I know he didn’t go thorough with it but just the fact that tried bugged me (it’s one thing to sleep around and another to try and settle down).
Regardless, this book felt all too real because it was messed up and it played with my emotions and there was no happy ending in my opinion, just a desired ending. There is so much baggage and too many empty years to carry around in memories for it to be a clean slate happy ride ahead. I’m a “ it’s the journey that matters and not the outcome “ type of girl.
This book is not perfect as there are some things in the story that didn’t click with my inquisitive mind but I overlook such things because I like that it made me feel.
The only thing that needed more explanation, more depth, more reason is why Jagger/Liam decided to play dead for so long and why he never thought of going back. It just didn’t feel believable that a man would cut out everyone just like that and start a new life. I would get it he went into deep depression and decided to live in the forests of the Amazon with no connection to humans but for him to create a new family out of the bikers it just sat wrong with me and the bullshit about the club understanding him and giving him the opportunity to unleash his new needs (to kill and to destroy) that he could have done even if he came home after awhile and told everyone he was alive but that he wanted to pursue a different lifestyle. He could have set everyone free of the sorrow of having a death hang over them forever. He was selfish in every way of the word. He got to know that Caroline and his family was safe but they got to live with a ghost in their midst for the rest of their life.
Gahhh I need to stop writing now or I’ll never finish.