A review by ofbooksandromance
All Tied Up by Reese Morrison

1.0

DNF at 47%

I don’t normally rate a DNF but i’m doing an exception for this book because while I officially stopped reading at 47%, we skimmed the rest of the book to see if what we have issues with was still there and it was, so I know that even if we did finish the book, I still would have the same thoughts.

First things first, I think that this book should have some trigger warnings. There is a lot of the content in this book that was really triggering to me. Neil had a lot of self esteem issues and he was new to kink and he wanted to do everything to please Jaime and Sebastian and powered through stuff even if he was uncomfortable. There was a sex scene that made me feel so bad I had to pause reading the book and I took a bath and relaxed in it for hours and I still felt shaken by the event, I couldn’t shake it for a long time. It was Neil first time engaging in BDSM and they were doing a role play as naughty schoolgirls and Neil felt super uncomfortable and he really disliked being the center of attention but he wanted to power through the scene because Sebastian and Jaime wanted it. That scene was so painful to read for me, it reminded me of way too many traumatic events in my life. A trigger warning for that scene was needed to me.

Also, Neil has deep self esteem issues and is constantly putting himself down, and a lot of the other characters in the book keep confirming those things and making it sound like Neil is right to have self esteem issues and that Neil is someone unworthy of love, that should also have a trigger warning.

This was a buddy read with Candy and I am not one to DNF a book and Candy isn’t either, but this book was starting to affect my mental health, so we decided to stop reading it. I think we could have finished this book if there was trigger warnings in the book, so that we knew that this type of content was coming. Thank you for much for reading this with me Candy, I couldn’t have done it without being able to talk to you about my feelings during the book. You’re the best and I value you so fucking much.

This one is probably on me. I enjoy MMM books but I need to be a specific type of dynamic or I won’t enjoy them and sadly, this one wasn’t the type of MMM book I enjoy. Also, I fell in love with Neil, I loved him so much. He is perfect and deserve the world. And thats why I didn’t enjoy the book, because I felt like he didn’t get everything he deserves.

Brief summary
Neil is really lonely and he is convinced that no one will want him. Neil wants a daddy. Neil is a bigger guy and everyone thinks he is a daddy but he’s looking for his own daddy instead. Neil’s friends force him into going to a weekend retreat in the mountains and it’s a retreat for daddies and boys so he can meet the daddy of his dreams. He ends up meeting the owner, Sebastian (a daddy) and his boy, Jaime and the three of them fall in love.

First, I’m not the biggest fan of MMM books in general. I’m a really jealous person and I can only enjoy MMM books when everyone feels equal. Jaime and Sebastien were open to thirds in their relationship and often had them, so it made Neil feel like he wasn’t really special to them. One of the reason I don’t often read MMM is because I need everyone to feel equal in the relationship or I won’t enjoy it and sadly it wasn’t the case here. For most of the book it felt like Sebastian wasn’t really into Neil and that they got together because Sebastian wanted to please Jaime. Neil just felt like he was convenient instead of someone they really desired. Also, Jaime and Sebastian were just looking for a play partner for the weekend and I don’t like this dynamic in MMM books, I just wanted it to feel like Neil is equal to them and not just fun for a few days. Neil is very vulnerable and was likely to fast hard and fast for Jaime and Sebastian so I didn’t like how they only saw him as a play partner when Neil wanted a relationship with them.

Second, I never warmed up to Sebastian. When Sebastian met Neil for the first time, his inner monologue was him saying not very nice things about Neil and it was clear that Sebastian didn’t really appreciate Neil for who he is. The first time they meet Sebastian mentions how another boy looks “a lot more fun” than Neil and it really made me sad on Neil’s behalf. Neil had so many self esteem issues and I didn’t like Sebastian thinking that Neil was not good enough, it made me so sad for Neil. Sebastian made it clear that they only got with Neil because Jaime was into him and Sebastian wanted to please Jaime. It made me so sad to see how Sebastian didn’t really appreciate Jaime. I didn’t like how only Jaime wanted to get with Neil and not Sebastian too, it didn’t feel very equal to me, mostly I didn’t feel that Sebastian was into Jaime.

Third, I also never warmed up to Jaime. He was bery pushy and everything always had to be what he wants, no one else got a say. It felt like everything was always about him and never about what Neil and Sebastian wanted.

Fourth, Neil was shown as really undesirable. None of the other doms at the retreat wanted him and they all rejected him. It started to feel like Jaime and Seb only got with him out of pity instead of really being attracted to him an that just made me sad. I wish the book showed Neil as someone special instead of someone no one ever wanted to be with, that made me so sad. Also, can we just talk about how Neil is not an unattractive man, at all. Neil is the guy on the cover. How is that guy unattractive? He’s hot as fuck and everyone would be lucky to have him. I was so sad that the book kept showing him as someone no one would ever want.

Fifth, the relationship dynamic really didn’t work for me. Sebastian was a daddy who didn’t have control in the relationship, he never decided anything, he just went with what Jaime wanted as at all times. I couldn’t believe Sebaatian as a daddy, he didn’t do anything that I typically associate with a daddy, like aftercare or taking care of your boy no matter what. And Jaime was really pushy to me. Jaime felt more like the dom in the relationship than Seb ever did. Their entire relationship was just Jaime pushing for what he wants and Neil and Sebastian going with it, even when they clearly stated that it wasn’t what they wanted.

Sixth, a lot of the BDSM in this book wasn’t what I would qualify as safe BDSM practices. As an example, Sebastian spends hours of his time going through every kink possible with Neil to see Neil’s limits and what he enjoys …. Yet the first time they do a scene together, they choose the scene that Jaime wants and that Neil clearly stated he doesn’t want and isn’t into. And Neil doesn’t enjoy that scene at all (the entire scene is him not being into it and feeling uncomfortable and that scene was so hard to read for me, it was really painful to read about Neil doing things he doesn’t want to be doing because he wants to please Sebastian and Jaime) and he uses his safeword during it, so clearly they should have known better and not force a scene on him that he didn’t want to do. I didn’t like how no one seemed to respect what Neil wants, I wish that they stuck to his limits and did everything to make him feel comdprtable. Also, that was Neil’s first scene, he was new to kink and they never told him what they would do or how the scene would work so he was super blinsided by it. They should have sat down and explained everything that would happen to Neil, because he can’t consent to a scene when he doesn’t know what will happen. Also why are they doing a scene with Neil that clearly Neil won’t like? They should have known better. Also, they use the trafic lights system as a safeword but Sebastian never asked Neil his colour during the scene. None of this is what I consider safe BDSM pratices, I wish they checked on Neil to see if he was doing well. Also, right after Neil has his mental breakdown, they give him a couple of cuddles and then they have sex because Jaime wants to have sex. I was a little distraught by that because Neil was in no position to consent, he just had a mental breakdown. Also, when they do a scene that Neil has no interest in, the narration of the book is saying how Neil is meant to be alone and won’t ever find a daddy because he used his safeword. Safewords are meant to be used. Using your safeword is not and never will be a failure.

Seventh, Neil needed to go therapy. He had deep rooted self esteem issues and he thought he wasn’t worthy of love, which are issues that require therapy. But the book made it seem like all of his issues could be fixed because he fell in love.

Eight, Sebastian and Jaime already tried a menage with another guy named Henri before. They kept bringing it up and comparing Neil to Henri and it made me sad for Neil because sometimes it felt like they rather have Henri than Neil.

Ninth and the reason why we had to stop reading this book. I could very much relate to Neil. I’m also someone who spent a long time thinking no one would want me and I was really lonely so when I finally got into a relationship, I was ready to do everything and I settled for what I was given because I thought it was better than being alone. It broke my heart how Neil wasn’t the happiest with what he was getting from Jaime and Sebastian for what of the book, he made it clear he wanted a forever daddy and not some weekend fun, but he settled for a weekend because he didn’t like himself he thought he couldn’t get anything more. A lot of the scenes in this book were told in Neil’s point of view and it was him not enjoying something but doing it anyway because he wanted to find a daddy, which was very triggering to me. I felt bad for Neil, I wished that he realized his self worth and that he didn’t settle in his relationship. This book reminded me way too much of being in a relationship that wasn’t good for me, but it was framed as a perfect relationship. I have been in a not so good relationship and I let a lot of things slide because I wanted to keep that relationship and this book reminded me so much of things my ex said and how I felt when I was dating him. That relationship left me crying atleast 3 times a week, so the way this book portayed this kind of relationship as romantic and what someone should want out of life was very traumatizing to me.

Ultimately this book just wasn’t for me, but I definitely recommend you try it if you do not have the same triggers that I have.

I received an ARC of this book, and this is my honest review.