A review by just_one_more_paige
Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble by Alexis Hall

emotional funny lighthearted reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

 
I think I'm just basically at the point where I'll read whatever new thing Alexis Hall writes. I mean I know I'm behind by a couple, but the point it, everything has been amazinggggg. Now, my clear favorite so far is A Lady for a Duke, but I haven't read anything I haven't liked. I wasn't sure about the first one in this series (Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake), tbh, because I just don't get the baking show hype. But it turned out that I loved it - at least in part but definitely not as the only reason - because the MC felt super relatable to me. Anyways, between that surprise interest and the stunning cover on this second one, I grabbed it as my recent Holiday weekend relaxing romance read. 
 
The book brings us into the next season of Bake Expectations. Paris Daillencourt was entered by his roommate to push him out of his box (and maybe into making friends and actually believing in himself a bit). Tariq Hassan is, confidence-wise and stylistically, the exact opposite of Paris, hoping to use his time on the show to start a B-list celebrity career. Despite an inauspicious first interaction, the two start dating. However, Paris' anxieties over everything (the baking and the dating) ending in failure may, in fact, cause them to end in failure. Plus, Tariq is perhaps expecting things that Paris is not (yet) able to provide, no matter how much he thinks otherwise. And then, of course, there is the stress and pressure of Bake Expectations itself...and the social media storm that inevitably begins once the episodes begin airing. The question is, can Paris figure out how to quiet his brain and find his confidence in time to realize that he really does deserve the good things in his life, and save them? 
 
Oh well it was fun to get back into the host/judge/director characters of Bake Expectations. I had forgotten how real they were. I mean, I know I said I don't really "get" the cooking show craze, but it's almost impossible to not have seen at least parts of episodes, so I know what they're structured like, and Hall really brings this "cast" to life. Their personalities came back quickly as a started reading this and it was a fun "oh yea!" reader feeling. It was also wonderful to slip back into Hall's writing. His hilarious and smart sarcasm, phenomenal dialogue, and overall quick and witty writing continues to be an absolute favorite. 
 
On this note, the way he writes specifically, in this case, Paris' internal anxiety monologue feels, in my experience, like a very honest representation. I do not have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but the thought patterns Paris deals with do show themselves, in a slightly less intrusive-to-real-life-interactions but no less recognizable way, for me. All that to say that, on top of the rest of the familiarly fantastic Hall writing, this is a very viscerally real experience reading about anxiety (and panic attacks. Please note the many trigger warnings that come with that viscerality. I also want to note the fully dimensional way anxiety is addressed: internally (and externally) by the person dealing with it, with friends trying to help (thinking they can help) and maybe not always doing the right thing, coming to the point where not getting help becomes more damaging to relationships than having the mental illness in the first place, and the fight against internalized negative mental health stigma and the need to get past the voice in your head saying you deserve to always feel this shitty, versus accepting that it doesn’t have to be that way and finally getting help. Plus, the recognition that it's not a quick fix, and that it takes a lot of work, but that it is worth it - you are worth it and your future is worth it - was lovely. 
 
One thing about this book that was particularly different from any of Hall's others (that I've read so far) is the lack of explicit, on-page, steamy scenes. This is not because he suddenly changed to writing "fade to black" romance, but rather because Tariq is very open in talking about, in accordance with his faith, he does not believe in sex before marriage. There are some wonderful kissing scenes, of course, but for the most part, this is a very emotional-growth-and-connection type romance. I didn't know that going it, so it was not what I expected, which is too bad because that's an expectations versus reality that doesn't at all reflect on the actual story/writing, but did affect how much I was into the story. Basically, it wasn't less quintessentially "romance" because of that, but I wish I had known going in. I do want to note though, that Hall's head-on addressing of the conflicts of religion and the queer community, the either/or reality that they're come to represent, was great conversation. Tariq's conviction in the fact that being Muslim and being gay are both key aspects of who he is, and absolutely can exist in harmony within himself, is beautiful. And an open-mindedness about identity that would be lovely to see in a more widespread way.  
 
Interestingly, because this was told from Paris' POV, which was (naturally) very self-focused and centralized due to his anxiety, the way his brain twists and takes things over, this felt like the most underdeveloped set of characters that I've read in one of Hall's books. There was still an array of other characters (Tariq's family and roomies, the other contestants, Paris' roommate), they just felt much more like props in this book. However, in thinking about it more, and considering the perspective of the MC, it actually does make sense that they'd feel less real, since it wasn't until the end that Paris was able to step outside his own thought spirals at all. 
 
Overall, Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble felt, to me, very different than Hall's previous works, yet in many ways it was just the same and I fell comfortably back into it. A strange combination of feelings to be left with, but in the end, a very affecting and engrossing romance. I definitely appreciate Hall's writing through this one, and I think, with a more clear set of expectations going in (which hopefully this review will give you), right up there with the rest of his books. 
 
“Because how could you tell whether you wanted something or just thought someone else would want you to want it?” 
 
“Because he could just about imagine a world in which Tariq was right and whatever had turned Paris into the useless sack of shit he was today was a medical thing he couldn’t control. But it also felt like a massive cop-out: like he was appropriating a serious condition that other people had to justify his crappy behaviour.” 
 
“And right then, for as long as it lasted, for as long as they were touching, Paris, too, felt loved and free, and part of something beautiful.” 
 
“…but in baking, as in life, sometimes not enough felt like too much, and sometimes too much didn’t feel like enough.” 
 
“Trying something until it was perfect was the same as not doing it at all, because perfection was just a ghost he conjured up to scare himself with.” 
 
“It felt like a moment to bask in, but it also felt like a moment not to be complacent. And a moment to be reflecting and regretting and hoping because apparently, it was possible to do all those things at once when fear wasn’t flooding your body with the useless kind of adrenaline.” 
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