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A review by lunabbly
Dyscalculia: A Love Story of Epic Miscalculation by Camonghne Felix
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
Wow. I genuinely feel fucked up.
At first glance a lot of the passages look like word vomit, making grand leaps from one thought to the next. But truly it is gorgeous writing. It is beautiful, chaotic, terrifying reflections of heartache, love, romance, and self torture. Felix also interweaves her bipolar diagnosis and discovery -- one that revolved around her childhood trauma of CSA, as well as her mother not quite understanding on behalf of Camonghne but in the ways that mothers can and want to.
The descriptions of loving X are so vivid. It is so sweet. So gentle. But the chaotic falling out, the cheating, the absence, the abortion that Camonghne gets without telling him which results in his temper tantrum and distance, it is all so absorbing. It's so relatable. We've all been in those relationships where we loved someone so deeply and couldn't give our full selves to this person. Couldn't be 100% vulnerable, couldn't commit the way this person wanted us to. We had different dreams at the end of the day. Even though we loved this person. Even though this person loved us endlessly, unconditionally and it made us feel so good about being loved.
The heartache was so palpable I cried multiple times.
At first glance a lot of the passages look like word vomit, making grand leaps from one thought to the next. But truly it is gorgeous writing. It is beautiful, chaotic, terrifying reflections of heartache, love, romance, and self torture. Felix also interweaves her bipolar diagnosis and discovery -- one that revolved around her childhood trauma of CSA, as well as her mother not quite understanding on behalf of Camonghne but in the ways that mothers can and want to.
The descriptions of loving X are so vivid. It is so sweet. So gentle. But the chaotic falling out, the cheating, the absence, the abortion that Camonghne gets without telling him which results in his temper tantrum and distance, it is all so absorbing. It's so relatable. We've all been in those relationships where we loved someone so deeply and couldn't give our full selves to this person. Couldn't be 100% vulnerable, couldn't commit the way this person wanted us to. We had different dreams at the end of the day. Even though we loved this person. Even though this person loved us endlessly, unconditionally and it made us feel so good about being loved.
The heartache was so palpable I cried multiple times.
... how I let his love be my field of discovery, the green of his want tortured with the marks of my prancing, how I let self-obsession be an acid that corrodes the denim of a big heavy heart.
Thank you Camonghne for this beautiful memoir of the greatest heartbreak. Thank you for treating yourself with much kindness and accountability for your actions. I so appreciated every word of this memoir.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Child abuse, Abortion, and Abandonment